SakuAtsu One Shots

Divorce

Atsumu always found it so funny how everyone would just say "get a divorce" or "leave him".

Do they ever realized just how deep a relation goes sometimes? How many lives are bundled in that relationship? Or how many emotions will be exploited during and after said relationship.

Atsumu and Osamu came from a really broken house. Their father cheated on their mother. Their mother went into depression. Their father was never abusive but if he ever came across them other than to ask about grades, sports or school, he would behave like they are invisible.

It was stressful. It hurts. It's horrible. The pain of being helpless in all ways. It's was always too much for both of them.

They mostly stayed at school till late hours. Trying to avoid their mother who looked oh so helpless. For them back then, their mother not divorcing their father and being free of this torture was the biggest crime she committed. They both loathed her for not giving up on that useless relation.

But now that Atsumu is standing in front of his kids, trying to explain that their father doesn't love him anymore. That he wants to love someone else was the biggest burden ever.

He understood now why his mother didn't leave. The idea of his kids growing up with a single parent. Other just being there like a child support was too much. It hurt too much.

It hurt, the idea of leaving the love of his life hurts. He now realized how many relations and emotions are invested in this single marriage. His kids whole future being stubbed on this single fucking marriage.

He can see how even after he is there to console them, to love them, their eyes search for their father. To seek truth from him. To understand why he is leaving.

But this is better. It's better to leave. Yes his kids will only have a single permanent parent and other a child supporter but atleast they won't go through the torment he went through.

He was wrong. They were still hurt. They got bullied for not having other parent. On bad days they wanted to run after the man who abandoned them and leave Atsumu who was desperate to keep them happy.

On good days it was nice. He was a nice parent and a full filing one at that. But the bad days were full of crying, screaming, ignoring and talking about the old days when the family wasn't broken. When the closed doors weren't the biggest comfort for all of them.

It was even harder when Atsumu tried to move on. Trying to find another love to hold him on. The kids hated it. They hated the idea of their parent being with anyone else but each other. Especially Atsumu seeing someone else. Their abandoner being with someone else didn't hurt and frightened them as much as Atsumu smiling at another man did.

The idea of their papa, the one who stayed leaving for someone else was too much.

Then were the days of depression. The days none of them spoke on. They all stayed in their own room, only coming out to eat. Everything used to stay silent on those days.

Now the kids are grown. Have their own partners. Have their own priorities. They don't have time for Atsumu. They don't have time to worry is he will abandon them. So Atsumu lives happily in the warmth of Kiyoomis embrace. He is content.

Everything is not perfect of course. But when has it ever been perfect. This is just how life is now.

My parents had a huge fight recently. And I asked my mother the same question which I asked her three years ago, "why didn't you divorce him?". She told me I won't understand back then but this time she told me why. She said that it's because their relationship had many other relationships entagled in them.

Be it my sister and I or her and my dad's family. Everyone happiness was also dependent on the harmony of this single relationship. Other than that the reason was me, I loved my dad too much. Still do. He has hurt me, hurt my mom, hurt the people I love but the idea of him leaving is too much.

Sometimes people say that leave him/her or divorce him/her too easily. They don't understand the amount of torment it has with it.

Leaving is never easy honestly. It's either suffer in silence or leave and live a life upto yourself. Both can be difficult.

Both can be tormenting. But that's how relations and emotions have been. It's upto us how to heal honestly. You can't expect that one day someone will come and heal you automatically.

Maybe your parent didn't leave, maybe they left. Maybe it hurt too much, or maybe it was a relief. It doesn't change that someone was always hurt. Emotions were always trampled on.

Hang in there. Please hang in there. Try to heal yourself. Don't leave. Don't end things. It hurts at the idea that someone was so hurt that they gave up on themselves.

Talk to me. Talk to someone. But just hang in there.

I wish I could say this to person who needed to hear it the most. The best way of expressing myself is through writing stories. And I do that. But I wish the one who needed to hear this was with me. I wish could comfort them. Give them the hug that will help them to hang in there. But they are gone now. And it's fine. They are living better than ever on earth.

I just......want to help