An Illusion That's Love

Chapter 9

After a long long kiss, they separated from each other. Ananth was still holding her face. She looked up at him, and he chucked. She laughed as well. "Now?" Ananth asked.

"Now?" She asked back and sighed.

They did not have a reply for each other. They looked at each other. "Would you like something to drink...?" Vandana finally asked. Ananth shook his head with a smile.

He went and sat down on the couch. "Let me get to this straight..." He said. "Things are getting too complicated." He said. "So let's uncomplicate them."

Vandana sat facing him. "Okay... How?"

"Let's get married," He said.

Vandana sat silent for a while. She was just looking at him and thinking.... "Hm... Shall we have sex?" She asked. "Like now."

Ananth was very shocked by her question. "What?" He asked.

"Do you have a condom?"

"No."

"Hm... Then it's complicated again." She said, crossing her hands.

Ananth was totally confused. "Answer me first."

"I am not going to marry you, Ananth," Vandana said calmy. "It's us... Marriage involves parents and family. It is not possible." She knew this all along. Even while they were getting attracted to each other. She wanted to keep her distance exactly because of this. Nothing is possible between them.

"I know it is not going to be easy," Ananth said. It was not like he has not thought about that. "But we can try..."

Vandana shook her head and looked down. She was not willing to put herself down through that. She did not believe in 'love' enough for that madness.

"And you want to have sex with me, because?" Ananth asked, looking at her.

"Because that is the only thing that seems to make sense in this situation." She said. "Because that is the only thing we CAN do." Vandna looked at him. "Should we? Do it?" She asked. "Now?" He gulped. Honestly, Ananth was a bit tempted. Any guy would be. But he snapped himself of that.

"No." He said, "Not like this."

"Have you never thought of the possibility that this... what is between us is sexual tension?" Vandana asked. "Lust?"

"Could be." He said. "You have no idea how much I want to touch you right now."

"Then?"

"But I believe we can have a decent life together."

"You don't believe in love."

"I don't."

"I don't either." She said. "I don't want to jump into a commitment for a lifetime so easily like this. These can go away if we sleep together a few times. Don't you think?"

Ananth considered that. "Could be. But I believe we CAN make a life together too." He said.

"It's easy for you to say that," she said. "I will be blunt and honest. I don't want to marry you because I don't want to see your mother ever." Ananth's face went pale. "That is a big factor." She admitted, "But also because I don't really believe in long time real feelings. I will admit that I am awfully attracted to you right now. But I feel to give a lifetime commitment because of these feelings is stupid."

Ananth thought this over. "Look, I grew up in a much conservative surrounding. I was not in the US or even in a big city like Mumbai. I know that in all those places, casual dating and sex are a thing. I grew up believing that feelings for a woman mean commitment and marriage. I get your point that our feelings could be momentary. But at this point in life, I really want to get settled and have a family of my own. And the thought of having you as my wife is very enticing."