Mine //~Baku x Todo

10 ~ melancholy of butterlies

Todo POV

"Aren't you gonna help me?"
I ask Bakugou, who's busy watching me pack my bag.

"No"
He says.
"Icyhot...about what you said during lunch break..."

My body tenses up at his words and I freeze. I stare at my hands, tracing the veins showing through my hands, with my eyes. I already know what's next.
I hate being pitied. The feeling of people looking at me with sorrow in their eyes. Being aware of them knowing how pathetic I am...it makes my head race- forcing me to remember every single thing I was told by my father for the last 17 years. And I can't do anything against it. I can't help but cry. The embarrassment snd disbelief, that would overcome someone, who was just told that a hero they trusted to always protect them, has such a failure of a son. A son, who collapses just from training, leaving his side open and vulnerable to attacks, that crack his ribs. .
I aggressively blink my tears away and take a deep, then clearing throat, as to not sound whiney.

"The thing about the cats?"
I ask.
It's obviously not what he meant. Both of us know that.

"Do you have those kind of thoughts a lot?"
He asks. He's talking about me questioning whether or not I'll be alive by the time I can move out.
And based on his tone of voice, I know exactly that I'm not the only one hating this conversation.
Why start it when you know exactly you won't like the outcome?

"Yeah, but I'm a coward."
I answer.

"Well, then I'm glad you're a coward."
He says, suddenly standing infront of me.

"Wow. Thanks"
I say, as sarcastically as I can.

"No matter what I do, I won't break away from this life. I..."
I watch a tear plimp onto my hand.
"I can't do shit about the situation I'm in and can't go through with the only fucking way out I have"

I can't look up. If I look up I'll be able to see Bakugou's face and it'll just make not crying harder. I'll see the expression he's making. A sad one. His emotions will reflect in it. And if the person I've come to care about most, can only feel pity towards me, I'll break apart.
Hands wrap around around mine, squeezing them tightly and soft, fluffy hair brushes against my forehead, followed by an inaudible thump as his forehead touches mine.

"That's just a sign that you don't really want out. I know you work hard to change and escape the fucked up situation you're in and it's amazing, but nothing will come from it if you don't believe in yourself at least a little."
He says.
I glance up a little and see his closed eyes, so very close to mine. I feel the wrinkles on his forehead as it rests against mine.
"I'm pissed that such an asshole can hurt you like that."

"I...I'm just too weak"
I sob

"For fucks sake"
Bakugou suddenly grabs my face, forcing me to look into his eyes.
"Don't fuck with me, Todoroki! You're not weak! How many times do I have to tell you!? You are the strongest, most beau-"

He cuts himself off and looks away embarrassed, but quickly goes back to staring into my eyes.
"You're the strongest person I know."

"I-I-...thank you"
I sob.

"Well...besides me of course. But you're pretty close"
He says with a smirk and I laugh, letting him wipe the tears from my eyes.
He hugs me tightly and after a moment of hesitation, I hug him back, clinging onto him desperately.

I cry into his shirt while he basically cradles me in his arms. His firm, strong arms are wrapped around me and his rough, yet gentle hands are stroking my hair, rubbing the back of my neck gently. The awareness of us being so close to each other steadily sends a warm feeling through my whole body. Butterflies are tingling in my stomach, making my heart race.
My arms warp around Bakugou even tighter and I hear him take in a sharp breath.
I can't help but wonder if this is what Bakugou was talking about when I asked him about love.
I feel comfortable around him. Like no matter what he wanted to do, I'd go along with him and have fun doing so. Like I can trust him with anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've been feeling this way for quite a while now.

"Guess I'm in love with you"
I say quietly, not feeling the anticipated flinch of the body I'm leaning against.

"Yeah. Same goes for me"
Bakugou mumbles.

"I have to keep packing"
I abruptly sit up and rub my burning eyes.
When I open them again, Bakugou's face is directly infront of mine and he grabs my chin.
He pulls me into a gentle kiss, that makes my heart stop for a second, then sends a wave of happiness through my body.

He smirks when he pulls away and plants a last kiss on my cheek, then starts packing my bag. I sit next to him and in silence as the two of us stuff my things into the bag. Neither of us wants me to go back to that place, but both of us are also aware of the fact that, I don't have a choice.
Like it or not, that man is my father. My legal guardian and as long as I'm still in school and don't make any money, I won't be able to get away from him.

"We still have two and a half hours until you have to go. Let's order food"
Bakugou says, disrupting my train of thought, that I'm sure was gonna lead in a very much depressing direction.

"Sure"
I say as I zip the bag closed.
I follow Bakugou into the living room, where he spins around again.

"I really don't want you to go back there, if you're gonna get hurt again"

"I won't get hurt. I promise"
I say and smile.
It's an obvious lie and both of us know it, but we ignore it as Bakugou hugs me tightly.

"I need you to tell me when something happens"
He says, carressing my cheek and gazing into my eyes, with his dark red ones.

"Okay"
I nod, a depressing feeling filling my heart and starting to cloud my mind.
But it all disappears the moment my lips touch his.
I lean into the kiss and feel his tongue brushing against my lips. I open my mouth a little and can feel his tongue in my own mouth. With closed eyes, I reach out and take one of the hands, that's been holding onto my face this whole time.
Being this close to him, feeling the butterflies in my stomach go berserk, makes me happy. It makes me forget my fears and calms me down. Kissing isn't necessary for me to feel like this, but it intensifies the feeling. It always has. From the beginning. Even when the kisses were just on the forehead. He makes me forget all of the fucked up shit in my life and that is exactly why he's the person I care about most.

~

I walk alongside Bakugou with our fingers interlocked. The rain pattering on the umbrella, only adding to the air of depressing melancholy that surrounds us, becoming thicker, the closer we come to my house. My grip around Bakugou's hand tightens as we turn the last corner, approaching the huge house with a terrifyingly familiar car parked infront of it.
Bakugou stops and looks at me. I know what he's thinking and nod in response. He pulls me closer and the umbrella down, so it covers our faces.
A sad yet reassuring smile forms on his face as he looks down at me.

"Don't do stupid things when I'm not around"
He says, touching my arm.

"Okay"

"Don't let him get to you. And if he talks shit, just think about me and how awesome I am"

"Uh-huh. Sure"
I say with a giggle.

"Take care, Sho."
He says and gives me a kiss.
"See you at school. Oh, and call me"
He winks and hands me the umbrella. Before I can give him an answer or give him back the umbrella, which he needs more than me, he already started running back, with the hood of his jacket pulled deep into his face.
I watch him turn around a last time and blow me a kiss, before he turns he corner.

I look down to stare at my hand for a second. I can still feel the residual warmth of his hand in my palm. I close it into a fist, to keep the reassuring warmth in there.
It took me so long to face and admit my feelings, that we ended up having barely any time we could spend with each other.

***
1506 words