The Other Agent Hill

50

The thundering of my footsteps, against the quiet room only enlarges the torment around my next actions. "Y/n are you ok?". Coulson asks, his footsteps catching up in line with mine, as I stride through the detention centre and to where we stood before Loki's attack.

"Do you believe in magic?" I ask looking up to Coulson, who stares at me blankly mouth slightly open with words he can't voice with how uncomfortable he has become. "I know as a SHIELD agent, we are taught relentlessly how everything is possible and we must prepare for the potential threat.... but what if we didn't?"

"What if ...I turned a blind eye? I ignore the rupture and unbalance any threat could bestow upon us...me" I continue using my hands to point toward myself. Coulson's forehead crinkles with confusion and worry as he takes a small step toward me. "Y/n you are ok, there is no current imminent threat opposing you" He says. 

"There is always a threat, whether it be imminent or not"

"Arguably, but right now you are safe. You are with me, you are safe" he says softly. "And yet you are not safe with me" I mumble turning around and staring at the cage designed for the Hulk. 

"Do you believe everything we do, is pre-planned?... a destiny or fate is in control of our lives" I ramble. Coulson exhales before answering. "I feel I would not do you any justice by answering you these questions, I think you should just tell me what is troubling you" he says I turn around, with a dagger in my hands that the Ancient one gave me and I had kept in one of my pockets.

"I was suppose to die Phil" I wave the dagger in front of me, helplessly "I am not suppose to be alive as it causes our reality to become unbalanced and ... and I can't decipher how I survived!" He looks at me worried contemplating whether to call someone or to listen. "I almost died plenty of times before during missions.. hell even from my own father. But after this one time I don't die I suddenly become burdened with the fact I have to choose between reinstating balance, or watching as our reality crashes around me" I look up to Phil, eyes wide and frantic looking for a solution.

Coulson looks down, then looks at me "I think you know what you have to do Y/n" he says softly. I shake my head "Doesn't mean I want to- "When do we get to do anything we want to do" he says cutting me off.

I look at him hopelessly, ignoring how deranged I must be sounding. "Coulson -

"I know what you have to do, and from what I hear you don't really have choice" he says smiling softly to lighten the mood. I frown, frustrated, annoyed "I have to kill YOU Coulson. How are you OK with that?" I say raising my voice, he doesn't even flinch instead walks closer to me.

"Because I trust you to do the right thing" he says putting his hand over mine, lowering the dagger so he can pull me in for a hug. I return the hug tightly, my arms. going around his neck and shoulder. "... and I know we will meet again" he says before I hear him gasp. I take a step back hands still on his arms as I look down at his torso, to see his hands holding the dagger in his stomach, he then rips out the dagger and drops it to the floor as he collapses against me.

"no....no no Coulson what the hell did you do" I wince crumbling to the floor with his body leaning against me. "I ... fixed the.." his voice croaking as his breathing becomes laboured. I press my hands over his wound, not wanting this to be it. I hear footsteps entering the room before Nick and Clint are by my side in seconds. Fury pushes me off of Phil and starts shouting into his earpiece. Clint turns to me betrayed and hurt.

"why?" he asks broken and betrayed. I crawl my way back toward Phil, nudging between Fury ignoring his attempt at pushing me away. "Coulson?..... thank ...you" I mumble hugging his body, burying my head in his shoulder. His body no longer radiating any heat instead becoming cold to the touch, ignoring the eery feeling I cling to his body. Even when medics rush in and try to take the body. It wasn't until Clint picked me up, and I watched as they carried his bother with Nick out of the room that it fully sunk in. He made the decision for me.

Maria was standing in the doorway when they passed her, her face pale and shocked looking from the body to me, turning around she walked after Fury.

"Clint let me go" I grumble, after his hold on me tightening. "Wh-what have you done n/n?" "I didn't do it... Coulson made the decision for me" I say exhausted, so when he lets go I drop to my knees onto the floor.

Clint lifts me up by my hand and stares at me conflicted. "I need you to be straight with me n/n, because when they come for you and they will, you need to have someone on your side" he says. I stare at the dagger discarded on the floor, bending down I pick it up. "even if I told you, I doubt you would believe me" I say finally making eye contact with him, he sighs shoulders slumping. I turn around and quickly walk out the room and straight to my room.

When the door closes, an orange portal opens and I sit on my bed opposite of the portal opening. "Are you happy?" I question. "You are weak, I only hope his action will be enough even though you were suppose to do it" She says. I glance at her hurt. "I just lost someone very close to me, have some respect" I spit. She rolls her eyes, "You will learn child, there is no use being close to people, when they just cause you pain" she says condescendingly. I frown but when I go to look at her again she is gone only a card left in its place telling me to meet her again when I am ready to discuss the reality stone.

Laying down on the bed I stare at the ceiling, trying my best to not let myself break, feeling tears start to pool. I squeeze my eyes shut, a knock from my door forces me to sit up and the movement allows tears to cascade down my cheek, to which I rub away and answer the door.

Maria is at the door, with a frown etched in her face, when she sees me she pushes me backwards, taking me by surprise.

"Why did you do that!" She yells stepping toward me she pushes me again. I don't fight back allowing her to push me. I feel the tears start pooling in my eyes as I know she is coming after he was declared dead. "He loved you, you were a daughter to him" She yells again pushing me, until I am almost touching the wall behind me. Stopping in front of me, I watch as her face scrunches up in pain and she slaps me, the sound echoing through the room and leaving a sting across my cheek.

"I hate you!" She yells. I flinch as she raises her hand again, jabbing my shoulder she repeats the statement over and over again. Until she stops and stares at me, angry "FIGHT BACK" She yells again shoving my shoulder back into the wall. I watch with tears blurring my vision as Nat rushes into to the room and hugs Maria pulling her away from me, as I slide down the wall bringing my knees up to my chest.

"Maria, calm down" Nat says softly, not looking at me. Maria shrugs off Nat's hold and walks back to me leaning down she point at me. "I will never forgive you" She says coldly. Then turns and storms out of the room. Nat turns to me and I look up at her tears raining down my face, I sniff and hold my hands out to the side of me. "Go on, hit me, I won't blame you" I say she shakes her head and walks to the door. "I trust that you had a valid reason, but - for now just know we/I still care for you we are just hurt" she says before shutting the door behind her.

When the door closes my head drops down to my arms whilst they pull my knees closer. And I break...

a/n: just wanted to say thank you for reading the story so far, we have reached over 3k readers and I hope you are enjoying it so far.. I promise soon we will be getting into the next movie. 

Also I hope some things are making sense, if not leave a comment with your question.