•𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱• |𝗬𝗶𝗻𝗪𝗮𝗿'𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆
I don't know what I did wrong.
I really don't know...
Why aren't I good enough for you?
He's my bestfriend and I always treat him very well but honestly, I don't know what he thinks of me. Did he just...
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『𝙔𝙄𝙉 𝙋𝙊𝙑』
🆃🅷🅸🆁🅳 🆆🅴🅴🅺 🅾🅵 🅹🅰🅽🆄🅰🆁🆈, 2018(🅿🅰🆁🆃 🅸)
We usually pay no attention to those belongings till the time we own them but the day we no longer find them with us, everything seems to have been lost in a different world altogether.
I didn't feel alive anymore. I had been trying to go on living like nothing had changed but it was too hard. I miss him. Yes, I really miss him.
I should have treated him better. I overlooked his happiness in an attempt to make myself happy, only to realize that my happiness is him.
How do I say the words, 'I'm sorry' when I know that words weren't enough? How could I ask him to forgive me when I know I couldn't forgive myself?
I felt ashamed for what I had done. I didn't have any excuses. I did what I did. I put my position in a comfortable place because he was the first person that treated me like this because since I was child, no one treated and loved me like he did. He was the first person who made me feel like there was someone in this world who loved and appreciated my existence.
I was always scolded by my parents, always blamed by them and had to give up everything to my brother but with him, he always followed my wishes. He didn't care what I did to him and he always put a smile on his face. He always said "sorry" to me even though it wasn't his fault. In my life, I was the one who always said that word but when he said it to me, I felt different.
The way he looked at me, I knew how much he appreciated and loved me. His eyes always shined when he looked at me. I know he was sad, hurt when I was mad at him but I was ego. I never meant to cause him any sorrow. I never meant to cause him any pain.
Sometimes I didn't admit that I had done something wrong when I really should just be honest because I know that it caused shit and made me upset. I messed up and I miss him more than anything.
I know that he didn't deserve to be hurt like this, it's too much. He doesn't deserve any of it. He's such a nice and respectful person but admitting that I was wrong was still hard for me and I'm still learning. So, in the past I was just being egotistical with him because I knew whatever I did, he would find me again and again.
'I won't leave you, Yin unless you are the one who told me to leave you.'
When I did something wrong, I always remember his promise and I always felt that he would be with me no matter what I did but I was wrong. I know that I was totally wrong for the way that I acted and treated him. I know I'm very self-centered, rude, disrespectful and dumb but when I said I love him, I really mean it.
