Fall To Stranger CS3 ( COMPLETED )

Chapter 21 ~hopeless waiting

[ LAINERRY ESCAMILLA ]

After five years. Five years after I graduated college. I'm 25 now and still waiting. Six years without the sight of him was made me hollowed. I feel like an empty bottle in the street waiting for someone to pick me up. I feel like a puppet or a robot. I didn't feel right. I hadn't been feeling right for a long time. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I had felt right.

Simula ng hindi na magpakita si Matthias parang hindi na ako nakaramdam ng kasiyahan sa buhay. How long is it? Six or almost seven years? Whooah since then hindi na siya nagpakita sa akin. I thought isang taon lang niya gagawin ang sinasabi niya para makuha niya ako but it's fucking so long! It's six, damn six years! And I'm still waiting for him. I don't want to wake up but still I did. I had to get up. I had important things to do for our fucking  business.

Walking down the stairs was an effort. My  body was not responding to the medicine and coffee that I had taken. Everything was an effort nowadays. I have no dream but it seems I need to work for it. I look forward to nothing, I laughed at nothing, my brain felt nothing. My heart felt slowly beating. Nothing but an emptiness.

I'm working as assistant manager in our business for almost 5 years. My dad still the manager of our company and his future-son-in-law Jourem Souris was his right hand in everything. After my graduation, I hurriedly face my reality. I work, going home, going to work and going home. Jourem lived with me but we're both invisible for each other because our heart belongs to someone else. Well, he told me about his woman in India but I'm not interested in his life, I don't care what he did or what he does basta huwag niya lang akong pakialaman. It seems he is not interested in me at all. I notice it after a year nang pagsasama namin sa iisang bubong. Hindi man lang siya nag-eefort na makuha ang loob ko which made me feel at ease. And he open about his life a little bit, so I found that he is in love with his childhood bestfriend and his bestfriend doesn't know. Uh that was so sad.

And Matthias was a puzzle to me. His friends told me he is working but I don't have an idea where he is. On his last year in college parang iniiwasan niya na ako. He's avoiding me whenever I'm approaching him. Maybe because he is busy and I heard he is running for Magna cum laude kaya hinayaan ko na lang siya noon dahil baka kasama iyon sa plano niya para sa amin.

Since the day that I and Matthias partways wala na akong ginawa kundi ang sumunod sa utos ni Daddy. I become a loyal and good daughter to him because I'm hoping that he change his planned. But I was wrong. He is consistent and coherent to all of his future goals which including me. Kaya ang ginawa ko after nang graduation ko ay pinag-aralan ko lahat ng detalye ng negosyo namin para hindi ako mangapa at kaya kong patunayan na kaya ko maging isang negosyante at kaya ko'ng mabuhay mag-isa. Pinag-aralan ko lahat ng pasikot-sikot ng negosyo at all cost. All of my wages I deposited it on a bank para bigla man bumalik si Matthias ready na qko sumama sa kanya but where is he right now? I don't want to rot here in my Dad's company. I avoid dad in the office at alam niya na ayoko makipag-usap sa kanya kung hindi rin naman tungkol sa trabaho. He knows that I'm against him but still he is authoritarian. He didn't change. Even in work he can handle itself and too overseer that I can not avoid.

One rainy day. My dad bought a ticket for us to Zamboanga, with Jourem. He wants us to attend a meeting and anniversary of their business opening. He sent us alone. And I know he has another motives why I'm with Jourem. Gusto niya na maging okay kami pero hindi niya alam na may ibang pinagkakabisihan rin si Jourem sa tuwing umuuwi siya ng Mumbai at hinahayaan ko lang naman siya. That's his reason also why he won't pursue me and he  suggesting to move our wedding date because I'm not yet ready but without my dad knowing. Jourem has another reason. A woman. And I'll wait Jourem plans dahil sigurado makakalaya ako. But my worst scenario parang wala na rin naman akong hinihintay. Wala nang Matthias.