38: Scheisskopf

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A few days passed before I saw Ollie again. Ben spent most of the weekend after Jade's gathering moping around at home because Ollie didn't want to see him after work.

But eventually he got so miserable that, late Sunday night, he came into my room and laid on my bed.

"What?" I asked, barely looking at him over my book, unable to stop the venom seeping into my tone.

He flinched in response. "What did I do to you?"

It's not me, you Scheisskopf, I thought back. It's what you did to Ollie. But instead, I shook my head. "Nothing," I muttered.

"Oh-kay..." He pressed his lips together. "I think Olivia is upset about something."

I put my book down immediately, staring at him in disbelief. Is he that dense? "Yeah. You literally said you can't kiss her."

"But I did. On her head."

I scoffed. "Half-heartedly. She saw that."

Pressing his lips together, his cheeks tinged with pink as he turned his head away from me. "It was my first time kissing someone. It felt weird doing it in front of everyone."

Had I read him wrong? I wondered, starting to question the plan that I had been plotting over the weekend. Is he just that stupid with relationships?

But we don't want to coach him in this... he will keep hurting her if he's that naive. And he can't turn to me every time he messes up with her... I can't counsel them. I can't root for them when I want her.

Heaving a sigh, I dog-eared my page and sat up. My movements caused his iridescent blue eyes to flicker to mine, swirling with an indistinguishable cacophony of emotions.

"When you said you couldn't kiss her, that was the chance for you to tell her about the bond," I explained.

But no surprise or realisation shifted his face... as if he knew the opportunity I had handed him. His gaze just became more focussed on me. "It wasn't the place in front of everyone."

"You could have pulled her aside and asked to talk with her then and there."

"It would have been rude—"

"Ben. What are you avoiding?" I finally asked.

He pressed his lips together and his eyes began to well tears. "If I tell her... then it's really real."

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm not ready," he whispered.

My stomach started to knot as I wondered where this was going.

Clearing his throat, the water began to subside in his eyes as he took some breaths, regaining his composure. "I just want to focus on our mission. I want to help you."

My nostrils flared over the fact that even though he was supposed to put the woman whom he had a bond invitation with first, he was still worrying about me.

But before I could retort to his statement, he added, "You're my priority."

Uneasy with where the conversation was turning, I decided it was time to be blunt. "Do you not like Ollie?"

"I... I do."

"But?"

"I don't know her that well."

"You can still tell her about the invitation. Get to know her over time rather than stringing her along. What you are doing is hurting her."

He shook his head. "I need more time to think about it."

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