SMG4: The Good, the Bad and the Crazy

If Mario was in Half Life

Mario and Luigi were sitting around in their house, playing Super Mario Maker with each other. The red plumber jumped onto the flagpole, easily beating the level his brother had made in just a few seconds.

Mario: Ha! You suck at this!

Luigi: Aw...

Mario handed the controller to him.

Mario: Call me when you make a real level!

He got up and headed to the kitchen. As he was about to open the fridge to grab a snack, he suddenly heard a buzzing noise from the counter. Snapping his head towards it, he saw Luigi's phone lying there, the screen displaying notifications for a couple of recent texts from Professor E. Gadd.

Mario: Hmm?

The texts read: "Luigi, I need your help. I forgot my lunch at the lab and I need you to bring it to me here at the Black Mesa Research Facility. I'd get it myself but I'm busy."

Mario: Boring!

Another text suddenly popped up.

"We're creating a machine that can transport anything from anywhere."

Mario: ... Anything?

The Italian began to imagine the sheer amount of spaghetti he could possibly teleport using a machine like that.

Mario:

Deciding that he'd take care of things himself, he quickly set off. In the blink of an eye, Mario hastily grabbed two plates of spaghetti and some mushrooms from the fridge before bolting out of his house as he ran for E. Gadd's laboratory. Curiously, Luigi didn't notice a thing as he was busy creating a new level in Mario Maker.

Luigi: And add some springs here, some koopas here, maybe a checkpoint here...

Meanwhile

Mario kicked the door to E. Gadd's lab open. The mad scientist's tamed Teletubby was busy banging its head against its cage, thrashing around madly as it tried to get out.

Po: WHERE'S THE TUBBY CUSTARD?!

Mario: Why does he keep these'a coocoo crazy people here?!

He suddenly spotted E. Gadd's lunchbox on a nearby workbench.

Mario: Yippee!

Quickly grabbing it, he then ran out the door.

A few hours later

Mario landed on the ground with a loud thud, his wing cap having worn off.

Mario: OOF! Ohhh...

Stumbling to his feet, he tried to regain his bearings. That was when he saw that he had landed in front of a monorail station leading down underground. A sign read: Black Mesa facility entrance.

Mario: Wahoo!

And without further ado, Mario got on the monorail cart, as it began to drive off. As he descended underground and through the facility, an announcement began to play on the car's intercom as the ride dragged on.

Speaker: Good morning and welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System. This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa Research Facility personnel. The time is 08:47 AM. Current topside temperature is 93 degrees, with an estimated high of one hundred and five. The Black Mesa compound is maintained at a pleasant 68 degrees at all times...