The Box

38. memories

She dragged her backpack for a few minutes until she reached an empty lot and sat on the curb. She looked at the long road ahead, wiped her forehead and nose with the back of her hand, and dropped her head. A few moments later, with lips curled into a pout, she sobbed and sniffled. She didn't notice the old man sit next to her. He quietly held out a piece of pandesal. Even with her head bowed, with her forehead resting on her arms which she propped on her knees, Rubilyn suddenly sensed the presence of someone near her. She looked up and saw the bread. She glanced toward the person holding it. He smiled and nodded. She took the bread and quietly ate; her face was now grimy with sweat and mucous. A few more moments and the old man stood up and walked toward the opposite direction. Rubilyn was slightly surprised to see "Lolo" move away just as quickly as he appeared. She then noticed the bag of pandesal next to her.

"Lo! Yung tinapay nyo po. Lo!" Rubilyn chased after the old man. Lolo glanced at Rubilyn, smiled, and looked toward the street. "Lo! Lolo! Yung tinapay nyo po. Baka hanapin ni Loli." Rubilyn repeated.

Moments later, Rubilyn didn't realize that they were back home. Lolo Tatay, the man who she 'met' outside half an hour earlier, proceeded to wipe her tear streaked face with a wet washcloth. He then quietly told her to change her clothes and then, they would share the pandesal for breakfast.

"Saan mo sana gusto pumunta?" Lolo Tatay calmly asked.

Rubilyn bowed her head and tears began to fall again. "...ayaw na nila sa akin..."

"Nino?" Loli asked.

"...Mommy at Dada...may bagong baby na sila..." Rubilyn hiccupped. "...binigay din kami ni Tita Osang kasi may baby na sya...di na kami gusto. Sabi nya, masikip na sa kanila kaya pinaalis kami."

"Eh paano si Ate Lyn-lyn? Si Nanan? DIba sinabi ng Mama mo na kay Mommy at Dada na kayo titira habambuhay?" Loli sat beside Rubilyn. She gently wiped the tears away from the girl's face and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"...kasi wala na si Mama...pumunta na sya sa heaven..." Rubilyn said. Her big eyes brimming with tears.

---

Pearlyn stared out the window. She developed a fever after the funeral. She also didn't really eat much for a few days. Both Maia and Chuck were familiar with this scenario because of their work at the orphanage. It was one of many ways children deal with separation, loss, or grief. She was rather small for an 11 year old. Chuck picked her up and carried her. She rested her head on Chuck's shoulder. Moments later, she began sobbing. Chuck consoled her as they sat on the bed. When she calmed down, Chuck offered her some water and helped her change out of her sweaty clothes. He lay in bed with her and cuddled her.

"Dada?"

"Hmm?"

"...wag mo ko iwan..."

"No, I won't..."

"...si Mama..."

"She's now in heaven. And I'm sure she's smiling down at you. Mommy Maia, Ian, Lolo Tatay, Loli, Dada, and Bing-bing love you very very much."