Life in Switzerland

Family

One of her favorite feelings was the cool, greasy grass under her bare feet, a few sprigs tickling her toes in the most refreshing caress. 

Just behind the feeling of his lips on her skin, leaving a warm track behind, the feeling of his fingers spread protectively around hers, the feeling of chubby little arms around her neck in the sweetest embrace there was. 

For years, her favorite were the cold feeling of trophies, icy metal and sharp glass being as many acknowledgments, cold and objective, of the success of Seri's Choice, of her own success, a proof that she fared much better without her family. 

The feeling of wealth, of power, which gave her the illusory feeling that her life was under control, while the most abysmal of solitudes gnawed at her from within. 

None of those sensations satisfied her, never, no matter how many headlines she made, or the exceptional scores of Seri's Choice. Nothing was enough to fill the inner void that sometimes threatened to swallow her whole. 

She never would have believed that walking barefoot on the grass would give her this satisfactory freedom she had craved for, for so long. 

Never would she have imagined that she would find such a plenitude in an improvised picnic, one spring afternoon on the other side of the world. 

With a North Korean captain who had become her universe. 

As if summoned, he appeared at the top of the hill, enveloped in a soft, golden light, and Seri had a flashback that took her several years ago, during their first spring, together in their own home. 

The music festival had just ended, but this time, instead of taking a plane with his country's delegation for a long year of loneliness in Pyongyang, Ri Jeong Hyeok had stayed. 

For real. 

He had told her something about compromises, about teaching, about visiting his country once or twice a year. 

But all Seri remembered was that it was a miracle, an answer to her most desperate prayers. So they had celebrated the unexpected news, with a picnic on the little hill next to their new home, taking in the breathtaking view of the lake. He had appeared thus, like a vision born of her imagination, but yet there, very real, his beautiful relaxed face, finally free from the grief that had devoured his heart for years, his radiant smile brighter than the sun above them, white flowers in his hand.

Except that this time, he was not alone. 

A girl of not quite two years old was on his shoulders, laughing out loud as Ri Jeong Hyeok held her tight. From where she was standing, she saw his dazzling smile, and when his gaze found her, coming alive with a glow that was only for her, her heart started to beat a little faster, and she had the familiar feeling of being suddenly enveloped in soft warmth, love and tenderness. He had a way of looking at her, as if she had all the answers to all the questions in the universe. 

As if she was the answer. 

When they reached her, Jin Ah was gripping his hair, and Ri Jeong Hyeok's loving gaze was quickly replaced by a grimace of pain. Seri laughed, and helped him extricate himself from the little girl's iron grip.

"Omo, Ri Jeong Hyeok-sshi, don't tell me you're about to cry!" 

He glared at her, but the amused glint in his eyes was unmistakable. He lowered their daughter from his shoulders and put her on the grass. 

"Amma!" 

She immediately wrapped her small arms around Seri's legs, before falling heavily on her buttocks. Seri laughed, hugged the little girl and planted a sonorous kiss on her plump cheek.