Life in Switzerland

Happily Ever After

As the room basked in the first rays of sun, Seri didn't move, didn't blink, didn't talk. She was almost holding her breath, afraid to disturb his deep sleep.

Her eyes wandered, for the umpteenth time in the past few hours, on the face she knew by heart, but never got tired of exploring. With her lips, with her fingers, or, like now, just with her eyes.

His hair, combed back by day, fell on his forehead by night, giving him a boyish look, reminding her of the blunt soldier that had saved her life in so many ways years ago. His lips, his full kissable lips, were slightly parted, and she knew that if she came just a little closer, she would be able to feel his warm breath against her skin, for she had felt it so many times and could spend a whole life just feeling it.

His eyelashes were casting shadows on his skin, fluttering from time to time, and her fingers itched with the urge to trace his perfect nose.

He needed sleep, he had had a long week at the University, and he was exhausted. So she kept her hands to herself and watched every move, every breath, every frown, with utter relief.

He was here, he was real, he was hers.

She thought of the Seri of years ago, who was trying to live day after day, to not succumb to despair, to make him proud, to keep that spark of hope alive. She had prayed hard, but if her prayers had been answered, she knew deep down that nothing was to be taken for granted.

His arm tightened around her waist and when she looked up, his eyes were open, lazily and tenderly gazing at her.

"Good morning..." she whispered with a smile.

A soft smile of his own stretched his lips and he brought her closer, raising slightly to kiss her forehead, lingering a little, before kissing her lips.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked,  his free hand moving a few strands of hair behind her naked shoulder.

She nodded and felt a warmth spread from her toes to her chest as his manly smell overwhelmed her.

Did he know how attractive he was? Did he know how in love with him she was?

He frowned, and she knew that he knew.

"You didn't sleep..."

It wasn't a question, he didn't need to ask, he knew her and as surreal as it sounded, he could see everything when it was about her.

"What's wrong?"

She snuggled against him, burrowing her nose in his chest, before mumbling.

"Nothing. Just a bad night. It happens."

Except it had never happened since the day they had settled for good after his country had allowed him to live in Switzerland.

And he knew exactly what was bothering her. His Seri, the love of his life, with her big heart and empathy.

Last night, they had dinner with an old acquaintance who had come to Switzerland for a concert. 

Seo Dan.

There were no grudges between the two women, they had made peace with what had been and what should have been, and they had worked together to bring Seri's brother down. They weren't friends, but they respected each other, enough to have dinner together. 

Past the first awkwardness, the dinner had been agreeable, and Seo Dan had given a few news from the North. Seri had been happy to learn that the boys were thriving, shocked that Pyo Chi Su was now a father, moved by the fact that Man Bok and his wife had welcomed a little girl and had named her Seri. 

She missed them, all of them, all the time, viscerally. 

Seo Dan was succeeding as a musician, but he had seen how Seri's eyes had stared at Dan's hand, where a familiar ring was shining on the left ring finger. Seo Dan had noticed too.

"I can't take it out, whenever I try, I just change my mind..."

She had looked at them with a bittersweet smile. 

"I'm grateful to have been able to live that kind of love at least once... I'm happy and grateful that I have been able to know him and to love him…" 

After the dinner, Seo Dan had left, and Seri had looked thoughtfully at her silhouette walking away. 

As they had been driving back home, Seri had been silent, which had been odd. He had taken her hand but she had asked him to hold the wheel with both hands and to be careful.

She had been clingy that evening, and he wouldn't have complained if it wasn't for the fact that it meant something was bothering her.

To the point of not sleeping. 

"Are you okay?" 

She nodded again, but he felt her shaky breath and held her even closer. 

"When we had only two weeks a year... I usually didn't sleep the first night. I would just look at you." he said quietly. 

And he did, he had needed it, to remind him that he wasn't dreaming and that he wasn't going to wake up in Pyongyang, alone. 

"I needed to be sure you were real, I had missed you so much that it always felt unreal the first night back home. It was as if sleeping was wasting time..." 

She kissed his chest, softly, to acknowledge the trauma they had been through since the very beginning. Healing from the fear of losing the other was taking time. 

" Seo Dan-sshi... She is heartbroken. Is it possible to be happy and heartbroken at the same time?" she finally said. 

"We can. I am happy. A part of me will always miss my brother, but I am happy, more than words can tell. The pain of a loss never leaves, but it's up to us to not let us be defined by it..." 

"Would you try to be happy if I die?" she whispered. 

The thought was unbearable, and he fought it with all his might, his breath short as he pushed her to look at her, his eyes scanning her face with a familiar despair. 

"Don't say that..." he whispered back. 

" I just... I feel lucky... I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to live if you weren't in this world anymore, it was hard enough when you were just a few hours away from me..." 

She looked at him, her hand finding his cheek. 

"I'm the luckiest woman in the world

Because I'm here, with you." 

He leaned his face against her palm, staring at her with this heart fluttering intensity that had made her knees buckle more than once. 

"And I'm not going anywhere."

As his lips found hers, before starting to map her whole body, Seri felt more awake than ever, more alive than ever. 

Even if it took time and tears, at least, they were finally under the same sky, in the same world. 

Happily ever after.