Life in Switzerland

Breathe

Day 11 (I think 😬🤣) of #CLOYTOBER

Tw: giving birth is nothing glamorous, it's beautiful but hard. So proceed with caution 😊

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"Breathe, Mrs., you have to breathe!" 

Ri Jeong Hyeok had never felt so helpless in his entire life. 

He had never had this feeling of not knowing what to do to protect the woman he loved. 

When she had landed in North Korea, he knew he couldn't send her back across the border because he and his men were no longer in charge of surveillance. 

Then he would send her back by sea. But it didn't work. 

Then he would send her back by the air, under a false identity. Even if sending her away caused him a pain that he refused to explain. What was the point when no other solution was possible. Not with Cho Cheol Gang prowling around and ready to take advantage of any weakness to hurt the people he loved and destroy his family. 

And Seri had become a weakness, his biggest weakness, not only because of her identity, but also because of the feelings he refused to acknowledge, but of which he was still aware.

He knew without a doubt that he would do absolutely anything for her. And it was dangerous. 

Leaving was dangerous too, he even ended up joining her clandestinely to protect her. 

Every time, he had been able to make decisions and to act to protect her. 

Not this time. This time there was nothing he could do. 

Seri was in a world of pain. When the first contractions had appeared on a regular basis at the start of the night, she had been almost relieved, because her belly was huge and she was exhausted, and because it was less painful than she expected. Admittedly, it was not pleasant and uncomfortable, but nothing unbearable. Until they got so close, with little time apart, that she barely had time to breathe in between. It was as if she had just one, terribly long contraction. 

She wanted to cry, to abandon her body here and go elsewhere, to yell at anyone who dared to speak to her, to push the midwives away, to swear in both Korean and German. 

But she couldn't. No one was going to give birth to their child in her place.

She felt a kiss on her temple, and turned her head slightly to Ri Jeong Hyeok. He was very pale, his eyes were red rimmed, and she could see he was scared. 

"Breathe Seri, please breathe ..." 

It was hard to breathe when the pain was taking her breath away. She, who envisioned a painless delivery, who envisioned something sweet, calm, to welcome their daughter, hadn't imagined for a single second that their baby would be in such a hurry to make her entrance into the world that she wouldn't let her time to benefit from the epidural. 

“Ready? Take a deep breath and push!” 

She grabbed Ri Jeong Hyeok's hand and obeyed. Her fingernails were digging into his skin but it didn't matter to him. He would have liked to take her pain away, he would have wanted to do something, anything, to help her. 

But he couldn't. 

So even if she destroyed his hand in the process, he didn't care, all he wanted was for her and their baby to be safe and healthy. When she stopped pushing, she looked at him with frightened eyes. 

"What if I can't do it ?" she breathed. 

He brushed back the long locks that clung to her sweat-soaked face and locked his eyes with hers.