Love is Pain

Hiding Away

January 26th - Present Time 
Veronica's POV

"Come on, Veronica! You can't hide your feelings in food and alcohol!" Cheryl yelled through the door.

"I can and I will!" I yelled back.

"At least she's eating," I heard Toni say.

"Yeah, listen to Toni, Cheryl!"

"Will you shut up? You are not helping."

"Sorry. I'll be back," Toni said and I'm sure walked off.

"Ronnie, please come out. We haven't seen you in three days." She begged.

"You've seen me,"

"Really? Have I? You've been quiet again. You don't talk as much. There were days when you didn't eat at all. You're sleeping too much or too little. I'm getting worried. You won't talk to me." I stayed quiet. "I know she broke your heart but you gotta get over her eventually." I sighed. She's right but if I leave that means I would have to see her again.

"How is she?" I heard my mom's voice. Oh my god, really?

"She won't come out,"

"Did I hear you mention alcohol earlier?" My mom asked.

"Oh, that was a joke," Cheryl answered quickly.

"Okay,"

"That wasn't a joke. You've been partying too much too," she then said which told me my mom had walked away. I got up and went to open the door. When I did she straightened up and looked at me. "You're alive!" She said and hugged.

"I said something five minutes ago," I told her.

"You could've died in five minutes,"

"Oh, she's alive," Toni said. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm alive! Can you two leave now?" I asked.

"Um, no. Look at you," Cheryl said.

"What the fuck do you mean look at me?"

"When was the last time you looked in a mirror. Your hair is a mess, you look tired, your clothes are three times the size of you and have stained all over them, I'm not even sure that shirt is yours, you also look like you've been crying." She said.

"Okay, I did not let you in here to bully me so there's even more of a reason for you to leave."

"We're not going anywhere. You're gonna come with us and go out." Toni said.

"No, if I go out then-"

"Then you might see Betty again, we know! But you can't hide from her forever. We live in a small town and go to a small school. You'll be seeing a lot of her over the next year." Cheryl said.

"Maybe I'll just move,"

"Running away from all your problems again as you always do."

"Fuck off! If I see her again I'll break, like I always do."

"Maybe you will. But one day you'll get over her. Everybody knows how you fell head over heels in love with her and she left you out of know where and hurt you. Twice! But you can't keep doing this to yourself. It's not good. It's not healthy." I stayed quiet and Cheryl started going through my closet.

"You know she doesn't like when you're right," Toni whispered.

"Come on!" Cheryl started throwing clothes at me and pulled me out of bed. "Get up! You are leaving this room. You are leaving this house. And you are going to get over her eventually."

"That won't happen,"

"It may not be today, or tomorrow, or next week, or maybe even next month but you are going to get over her, and in order to do that, you are going to have to leave and try. Hell, you might even find someone new, someone, who makes you happy, someone who won't lie and hurt you and make sure you're healthy and taken care of."

"If I go with you guys you two are not allowed to rub your relationship in my face please,"

"Oh, of course not! That be fucking terrible!" Toni said sounding slightly sarcastic. Cheryl and I just looked at each other.

"Get in the bathroom change and come back out!" She demanded. I did as she said because I didn't have the energy to argue with her.

As you may have put together I'm heartbroken I guess. Betty and I were best friends for years. Four years to be exact. Four years of friendship. That's a long time for some people. I happen to be one of those people.

I've liked her for four years. She's the reason I figured out and came to terms with my sexuality. And considering it was my first crush on a girl I thought it was gonna be temporary. I guess it wasn't. Because four years later I still had a crush on her. It took her a few years to realize her sexuality but I waited and I dated other people and ignored my feelings when she finally admitted her feelings for me I was so happy that I admitted mine too. Then I asked her out and she said yes and everything felt so perfect. I had finally felt happy for the first time in so long. I guess that's what made me fall so much harder. The happiness that she made me feel. She cared for me. She made me feel safe. Our late-night phone calls, the ones that would last till four AM. Or how we would both fall asleep on the phone and would wake up to the other the next morning. The glancing and the smiles we gave each other whenever we passed each other in the halls. But good things don't last forever. She eventually got tired. I wasn't good enough for her anymore. She wanted someone better. Something... different. As they said fell head over heels in love and I didn't think about what it might do to me. I didn't even get to say I love her. She broke up with me before I could get the chance to. Now I can barely sleep, eat, or leave the house. I admit she broke me. She gained my trust and she broke it. The thing that makes all of this worse.