DEAR YOU [Part 2]

Chapter 25

Jack

I knocked on the door twice and waited five minutes. It was a beautiful door, mahogany I think. When no one came to open the door, I knocked again, a bit loudly this time.

I always used to judge a person by the way they knocked. It might be stupid but i feel it says something about the person knocking. Suppose the person is knocking continuously and lightly, that meant they were in a hurry or if the knock was more contained and firm, maybe the person was very sure of the reason why they came.

The door slowly creaked open and revealed the face of Anthony, my son.
I say my son with pride.

I have had nothing but pride in him and maybe that was the reason we got so detached or distant. He thought I never noticed how hard he worked to make me proud, but I did. I noticed all the hours he put into making himself commendable but maybe if I noticed less and maybe if he felt there were lesser pairs of eyes on him, he would have survived and been so much more whole and content.

“Dad.” He stood there blown away. I could see how suddenly the smile which covered his face vanished away as soon as he laid his eyes on me.

“Can I come in?”

“Uhm.” I took advantage of the fact that no matter how many troubles there were between us, he would never say no to that particular question.  “Yes I guess.” He feebly gestured me in.

I walked behind him as he lead us to an open room. There were two couches with a round table between them. The place was bathed in sunshine and there was a pretty rose smell hugging the room. He placed the pillow on the couch properly and gestured me to sit.

“So, you here. Why?” the confusion on his face was loud.

“I wanted to talk about something.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“I wanted to say uhm. I am sorry.”

“You are sorry?” he repeated with creases on his forehead.

“I am sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“What do you mean what am I sorry for.”

“I mean do you even know what you are sorry for?”

He began to annoy me now. The slightest sarcasm in his tone woke up the sleeping ego in me.

“I don’t know. I mean we all fought a month back and now I am apologizing. Isn’t that enough?” i know he loved to get an annoyed reaction out of me.

“Dad.” He scoffed.

“I am trying to apologise.”

“You don’t even know what you are apologising for but.” He said vexed.

He was correct after all. I didn’t know what I was apologising for, i was just trying to apologise my way back into his life but he caught me.
Honestly, I don’t know why I need to apologise. The two of them came to my house and fought with my wife and I, destroyed the living environment and left behind broken relationships which cut through like knife in a cold weather and they didn’t seem to care. After all that, why do I need to apologise.

“Tell me what I need to apologise for.”

“Dad I am not going to do this again. I will not scream again in order to make myself matter to you. You were there that day weren’t you? Didn’t you hear what we screamed.”

He stood up and raised his hands over his head.

“I am not doing this again. I am going to leave and it’s better if you do too.”

___________________________________________________