'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Supermassive black hole

"Ooh baby, don't you know I suffer? Ooh baby, can't you hear me moan? You caught me under false pretences. How long before you let me go?"
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sexual content, viewer discretion advised ;)

REGULUS BLACK

I feel awful. Physically and mentally fucking drained. The previous night was worse than usual and I think I only slept thirty minutes, my nightmares taunting me.

It was Sirius this time. Writhing in front of me, the twist of his face as he looked up at me in pure agony. The floor had been drenched, the carpet matting as his blood pooled around him seeping into the floor. The metallic smell still plays with my senses as I picture it. And Merlin his screams. Those fucking screams.

I have to find a way out.

I walk to last period alone, Sirius' screams echoing off the walls in my clouded mind haunting me. Alice and Maxwell try not to leave my side if they can help it. It's suffocating having the two people who know—well used to with me. It just reminds me how much i've changed while the pair has gotten to remain relatively normal.

I walk into the potions room, some how late, granting a quick apology to Slughorn who of course dismisses it.

"No apologies necessary, Regulus, I'm sure you had your reasons. Take your seat now,"

I keep my head down, not looking at anyone as I make my way besides Evans, refusing to greet her. Our last encounter was different, to put it mildly. I don't know how to continue this...friendship without ruining it. Darkening it.

Darkening her.

My mind drifts elsewhere, allowing Slughorn's words to dwindle into mindless background chatter. I try to think of something, anything but Evans to mute the sounds of Sirius' screams. But of course, nothing else works. She seems to be the only person, thing, that I can use as a distraction. The raw sound of Sirius' screams slowly fade into the satisfying sound of Cordelia's whimpers, the sounds she had made when I tugged her hair, or kissed her neck. I can practically still feel her pulse under my thumb.

It makes me angry. Angry that she's willing to throwing something that could be so...fun away, just because it's a 'bad idea'.

I allow myself to relive the memory of the library, only drawn back to reality as the students around me begin to talk. Slughorn must've stopped talking at one point.

"What are we supposed to be doing?" I ask Evans in confusion, forgetting my adamance not to greet anyone. "Evans."

"Oh, is the attitude all gone now?" Evans drops her quill and turns towards me, looking me up and down.

"Shove off Evans. There is no attitude,"

"Must've been imagining how you walked in here looking all grumpy," She chuckles, returning to her work.

So we are having one of those days, huh?

Again, Evans doesn't look up. I twiddle my quill between my fingers, still unsure what i'm supposed to be doing. A part of me wants to talk to Cordelia still. Our taunts and back and fourth sneers are rather entertaining sometimes. At least the ones that don't run too deep.

"I saw you talking to Lupin," I say, watching for Evans reaction. She tenses slightly. "In the corridor the other day,"

"What about it?"

"Just didn't realize the two of you were mates again," Cordelia finally looks up at me.

"We're not really." Evans must've noticed my dissatisfaction with her answer because she continues. "God. He asked me why I didn't sentence him. Because now we're gonna be forced to help each other with a trial against the ministry."