OFF-LIMITS ✔️

REALIZATION

CHAPTER EIGHT: REALIZATION

" I may love you but I wanted to protect your smile first before anything."

Jaxon is important to me. I knew he was important to me because he's my friend just like how Yael is also important to me, but I didn't realize the effect that Jaxon has on me.

Of course, when he smiles I smile, when he's sad I get sad too, but when he spoke coldly towards me I just turn into this mess. A mess that I didn't know I had inside me, I was weak and I hated it. I hated that he spoke to me that way as if I was just someone who he knew and not his friend, not his friend Chandria.

"Ano bang problema niyong dalawa?" tanong ni Yael sa tabi ko na iniinom yung Gatorade na binili ko para sa sarili ko.

"Ewan ko, I..."

I know why he's upset. I know. But I just don't want to think that it might be because of that, I haven't thought about it. I don't know how to approach him yet about my feelings and our feelings too.

"I don't know, Yael. I'm just confused, I don't like this energy between us."

"Mag-ayos na kasi kayo, natatakot ako eh."

"Ba't ka ba nandito? Wala ka bang girlfriend na naghahanap sa'yo?"

"Tsk... cool off muna."

"Fuck it." mura ko sa sarili ko.

Tama si Silas, dapat mag-ayos na kami.

I've been thinking about it, kailangan naming ayusin ang kailangan na'ming ayusin. If he won't talk to me and just grin at my direction, then I'll just have to go for him then.

"I'll talk to him, pagod na 'ko, pagod na pagod na 'ko kakangiti niya sa'kin na para bang 'di ako naapektuhan sa ginawa niya." tumayo ako at hinanap si Jaxon na kinakausap yung mga kalaro niya sa basketball.

Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa sina Yael at Silas sa likod at naglakad ako sa direksyon nila, napansin naman ni Jaxon na papalapit na 'ko sa kanila.

"Jaxon."

"Oh, Chandria?" tumayo rin siya habang pinupunasan yung pawis niya sa may batok at noo niya.

Umalis yung mga kalaro niya at nagsimula na ulet maglaro sa court, nakatingin ako kay Jaxon na nakangiti pa rin sa'kin, hindi ko gusto yang ngiti niya sa'kin, it's not the one I like.

"Pwede ba ta'yong mag-usap?"

"Nag-uusap naman ta'yo ngayon, 'di ba?" pinopolosopo niya ba 'ko? It's getting annoying, he's trying to get me upset like how he was too.

"You know what... I don't like this. I don't like this energy that we have so I'll do this now, I am sorry." I let it out.

Nawala yung ngiti niya at naging seryoso ang ekspresyon nang mukha niya, I'm gussing that he's trying to listen to me this time, in all seriousness and without these sarcastic comments and answers he's been throwing at me lately.

"I am sorry if I have offended you, I am so sorry. I just hate it whenever you're upset with me, I miss us. I just like being with you but you keep ignoring me, and it's too much for me, Jaxon."

Natatandaan ko pa rin nung bumagsak ako sa lapag dahil sa naramdaman ko, nag-selos ako pero may iba rin akong naramdaman. Na para bang ayoko siyang mawala sa'kin, gusto ko lagi ko siyang katabi, and it just opened my eyes that I really want him, I really like him.