Sunless (Tom Holland x Reader) [Sequel to Sun Kissed]

Chapter 16

~your pov~

       Tom grabs my sweaty hand and give squeezes it twice. I look at him and he gives me a reassuring smile. I feel a little smile form on my face as I sigh. 

"Can you tell I'm nervous?" I squeeze back his hand and feel his other hand rub on my back. 

"Yes I can tell you are nervous." He pauses and looks around. We were sitting in the outdoor seating of a bar and grill restaurant. Surprisingly Chris agreed to come meet us here, I already had a script inside my head on what I was planning on saying to him. My love for him was real, and in another life I could've been with him. As cliché as it sounded, my heart belonged to another. At the same time I wasn't ready to see him. I wasn't ready to face my consequences, I was happy with my choice but at the same time I hope he's doing well. 

"I'm sorry, I just hope everything goes alright." I look around also, to see if he was arriving.  Nowhere to be seen. "Not much time has passed but it feels like that happened a lifetime ago." 

He moves his hand from my back, to my face. Caressing my cheek slowly, looking deeply into my eyes. I see him shut his eyes slowly and lean in, I do the same and our lips touch. My cheeks flushed as he continued to give me small pecks. We hear someone clear their throat to get our attention. Immediately, we pull away and see Chris standing in front of the table. 

"Oh my god." I mumble, "Chris...hi." I stand up and walk over to him. I go in for a hug, at first he seemed surprised that I was about to hug him. He then holds me. As my face smooshed against his chest, I sigh. He pats my back slightly and it seemed as if he didn't want to let go. I didn't want him to. It felt as if we needed this. I hated what I did to him, so the least I could do was give him this. 

The feeling of his hug brought a bit of nostalgia, he would always pat my back during an embrace, and I would always have my face smooshed into his chest. I let out a small laugh and try pulling away, he leaves his arms on my back. "You're glowing." Chris lets go. 

"Oh.." I look away briefly, "Thank you, you look great as well." As I watch Tom and Chris shake hands, I couldn't help but check out Chris. Not to sexualize him or to admire his good looks, but to see how he was holding up. I, for some reason expected him to show up as a stereotypical heartbroken person. Wearing old smelly clothes, hair messy and unclean, eye bags and a miserable demeanor. I guess I selfishly guessed he would be a mess when I saw him. Instead he looks well kept and if anything better than ever. I shake my head to shake away those thoughts. 

"Well let's sit." Tom eagerly pulls out my chair and I sit right away and Chris sits in front of us. "Chris, how have you been?" Tom asks. Filling any silence right away. 

"If I'm honest I was heartbroken at first obviously." He shoots a glare at me. "After I saw you on my Twitter feed that you were married...I.." His voice trails off. "I dunno. It made me feel better in a way." As Chris finishes, I look over at Tom. "I mean I should've known.." He points at me and then Tom. "The way you looked at him today, was the same way you looked at him that one night." Chris sighs. "When I proposed to you...I thought you would have looked at me that way. I knew in that moment that you weren't mine anymore."

"Chris, I should've told you." I look into his eyes, "I'm sorry. You don't deserve what I did to you." 

"Then why did you? Did you even love me?" He says abruptly. I shake my head, "Don't.." I say quietly. "You know I loved yo-" "Loved." He shakes his head, "Loved as in used to." 

"I care about you. You kn-" "Care? If you really did care you wouldn't have just left like that. Cheated on me. I was just someone to distract you." 

"Yes I care about you. What I did was absolutely wrong, I admit that but I just came here to apologize and talk things out. I don't want to argue with you." I feel Tom's hand rest on my thigh, he gives me a little squeeze to comfort me. "I regret many things, mostly how I treated you and what I did to you. I shouldn't have jumped into a relationship knowing I was longing for someone else. I shouldn't have went behind your back I should've just told you. I did it because.." I pause and look at Tom and back to Chris, "Just like you said, I could never fully be with you because-" "Because you belonged to him or your heart belonged to him or some stupid shit like that?" He interrupts again.  

"Mate, let her finish." Tom steps in, "We really came here to make things right. You deserve that much." Chris shuts up and nods. 

"I don't want us to have bad blood. I did enjoy our relationship, and don't regret meeting you. I just needed you to know that." I shrug. I really wanted him to understand me, but it seemed like he won't. At least for now. I see him sit up and look at Tom. "Congrats on the wedding by the way." 

We all stay quiet for a little. Tom looks at me and nods, we should probably leave. "Please don't be afraid to reach out." Tom holds out his hand for Chris to shake. They shake hands briefly. "Yeah man." 

"We'll see you around Chris. Thank you for coming to see us." I stand up and watch as Chris gets up as well. I go in for another hug but this time it's brief. He waves goodbye and walks out. 

Tom and I get to the car and start driving back to his place. As I look out the car window, I see the sky start to get pink and bright. Sun was almost about to set. I look over at Tom and rub my hand on his thigh. He looks over with a smirk. "What are you thinking about?"

"I want to watch the sunset, with you. It just feels right- right now." I nod. "Know any good sunset watching spots?" 

"No?" He laughs and I join him. "But I know a place that we could watch the sun set." 

We drive to a city park with walking trails with forested areas. We find an area to park, a little drive through some dirt paths where they lead to one of the forest areas with a clean view of the sun setting and a creak flowing softly to fill the atmosphere. Tom pulls out a blanket from out of the trunk and sets it in front of the car. "I told you keeping a blanket in there would be useful." I tease him. He rests his back on the car and lets out a big breath as if he was very relaxed. We cuddle up close together and watch the sun go down quietly. For a long time I enjoyed the silence. It feels like this is it, we are together. There's nothing holding us back now. Everything that we went through it helped us get here. I feel at peace as I rest my head on his shoulder and cuddle him. Being able to be here, with him watching the light slip away from the day feels like we did it. This is it.