TMNT Karai's Biggest Regrets

Childhood

Karai looked at her father surprised but then she scoffed. "You may have been angry like I was but there's no damn way you were as bad as me."

Splinter's ears flatten slightly. "No...I was worse." He began. "I was a happy child. I used to live in a small village on a farm and help my parents with the harvest. I had a wonderful mother and a loving father but that all changed when my mother got sick and passed away. Something in my father snapped. He became delusional and grew addicted to alcohol which didn't help at all. He became violent towards me and wouldn't take care of the farm anymore. I tried to take care of things and do everything my parents taught me but I was only six at the time so I wasn't able to do much of anything. Soon, word got out and kids at school started bullying me, calling names, saying that I was going to end up crazy like him. Then one night, people from the village convinced my father to call my grandfather and take me away. I didn't want to leave so when my father was passed out drunk, I ran away and lived on the streets for a few months."

"How did you survive?" Karai asked, growing interested in the story.

"It wasn't easy." Splinter admitted. "I had to steal and I got beaten all the time by kids, even adults. Kids at my school found me one day and started teasing me, saying stuff not only about my father but my mother as well. I lost my temper and beat them until they bled. I was so upset that I ran to my mothers grave and screamed at the top of my lungs, begging for her to help me and come back. That's when my grandfather showed up, I can't tell you the fear I felt when I looked at him. His brown stern eyes felt like they were staring into my soul. It was the first time I have met the ninjitsu master, I've only heard stories about him from my father. I tried to run away but he grabbed me and put me under his arm without saying a word. I kicked, punched, and screamed for him to release me but he ignored me, showing no emotion on his face."

Splinter chuckled at the memory. "I gave that poor old man no peace after that. I would fight with him about everything yet he never lost his patience with me. It didn't get much better when I was in my early teenage years. The war between the Hamato and Foot clan started and when my grandfather returned home with Saki, he told me that the Foot had killed my father. Since then, my anger grew. I had planned on facing my father and maybe reconnecting with him but the Foot took that away from me."

"What did you do after that?" Karai asked and Splinter paused for a while.

"When I turned 15 I made a team of my own, Saki being one of them. We destroyed countless things that related to the Foot, I put myself and my team at risk countless times fighting Foot soldiers. Their leader might have been gone but the Foot still lived on and I wanted them to end and pay for what they did. My grandfather would try to force me out of my path of vengeance but I would grow angry and ignore him which...till this day, I still regret...I was played like a fool, some of my team members ended up being Foot soldiers who were gaining information on the Hamato clan. One night, when I was walking home, hundreds of Foot soldiers were attacking the dojo."

Karai grew more anxious and listened as Splinter continued. "I joined the fight, helping my clan as much as I could and when my back was turned a Foot soldier was about to kill me. I heard my grandfather scream my name and before I knew it, he stepped in front of me and took the hit for me. He got hit by the leg and had to be bedridden for a while. I was by his side crying my eyes out, begging for forgiveness which he already did. My grandfather never walked or fought the same after that which I felt guilty about which is why I left my road of vengeance and vowed to help my grandfather take care of the clan as much as I could."

Splinter cupped Karai's chin and looked her in the eyes. "Miwa...I was a troubled child just like you. I was so scared and lost. After everything that happened with my father, it was hard for me to believe that people could love me which is why I pushed everyone away because I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't want to allow myself to heal, I ran away from it which only hurt me even more. When I finally allowed myself to heal and move on...it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders."

Karai looked at him then down slightly. "Miwa, I know exactly how you feel. That is why I gave you a choice instead of forcing you out of the Foot because I knew that it will only make you fall deeper. I knew you would make the right choice eventually." Splinter chuckled and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "And I was right."

Karai sighed and pulled away. "I'm sorry about what I said that day and how I treated you. What I said was the truth about how I felt but...it could have come out better. But I didn't mean when I said you weren't my father! It's just that...it didn't feel like you wanted me as a daughter..."

Splinter listened as she spoke. "I never blamed you for it, though. I understood it but I hated it. It was hard for me to believe you loved me even though you said it. After a while...I started to think that...you replaced and forgot about me when I was gone."

"Is that what you think?" Splinter said in a whisper and Karai nodded. "If the turtles would have done what I did you would ground them and scold them but...you never even visited me unless I did something over the line. And every time you would talk to me, you would talk to me like a sensei instead of a father. I think that's why I kept blowing up Shredder's organization after I promised you I wouldn't because I wanted to test you, to see if you actually did love me like your daughter but...you never proved to me that you did."

Splinter had tears in his eyes and he wrapped his daughter in a hug. "I'm sorry Miwa, I never knew you felt this way. I wanted to be your father, really I did but...I wasn't sure if you wanted me to be. I didn't want to push you into something you didn't want...I was waiting until you came to me. I do love you Miwa. It doesn't matter if you're Karai. Karai or Miwa, you will always be my daughter, no matter what."

Karai looked at him. "Really?"

Splinter nodded. "Really."

"Really, Really?"

Splinter smiled and squeezed her tighter. "Really, Really."

"So...if I told you I went after Totsu...would you still want me around?" Karai tested. "April has already told me about Totsu." Splinter said and Karai grumbled in his chest.

"You're not mad?" She asked and Splinter shook his head. "No but I would like to know why you went after him."

Karai hesitated. "After our fight I accepted the fact that I was always going to be Karai even though I didn't want to be. So when Shredder was gone I stayed in the Foot. I'm sorry I broke my promise but I didn't know what else to be."

Splinter nodded and allowed Karai to continue. "Totsu was leading a Foot clan in Japan and he always wanted more power so I knew once he heard that Shredder was dead he would come to America and cause a lot of trouble. So I sent Foot soldiers to finish him before he could but it ended up making my fear become real. I'm the one who caused him to come here and everyone got hurt because of it...Shinigami included."

Karai sighed. "After that, I didn't want to be this way anymore but I didn't know what to do. That's when Raph came in and told me to go to the farmhouse to do some soul searching."

Splinter gave an amused smile. "Raphael? My hotheaded and most stubborn son? He told you to do soul searching?" Karai laughed. "I was just as surprised as you. During the whole saving you and everything I realized a lot of things."

"And?" Splinter mused.

Karai looked to the side. "I got rid of the Foot." Splinter blinked in surprise. "Shini and I rented an apartment until we save enough to move back to Japan."

Splinter frowned. "What?"