TMNT Karai's Biggest Regrets

Family

A year later,

I still had weird dreams about Splinter. I don't know what's been causing it. I don't know if it's because of my guilt or if I just really  miss him. I started to wonder if my dreams mean something like a warning or a sign. I don't know what to do and these past few weeks haven't exactly been helping with my stress.

The Foot clan have lost all respect for me after my incident with Totsu. I can't fully blame them though, even if I proved I'm a stronger leader than Totsu...I'm the one who sent soldiers to kill him in the first place, I'm the reason why he came to America.

What I did was dishonorable. Totsu did nothing to me and I arrogantly sent soldiers to kill him without even thinking of our safety. I feared if Totsu found out about Shredder's death that he would come and kill me so he can control the Foot clan. He has always wanted to be in control which is why Shredder left him in charge in Japan while he was here in New York. So I thought taking him out was the best option but clearly it wasn't. Lots of people got hurt because of me.

Shini, my best friend and sister had to go to the hospital for a few weeks because of what I did. Casey, too. They didn't act like it but I knew the turtles were pretty pissed, especially Leo and they had every right to be. There was no reason to go after Totsu, I'm the one who made my fear come true, he never would have come if I didn't go after him first.

It seems after all that has happened with Splinter I still haven't learned my lesson. I know my father would be furious if he were here. Totsu and Splinter actually competed against each other in an arena before I was born. Totsu would have won if my father didn't beat him and because of that Totsu has always wanted to take Splinter down but never got the chance. Splinter feared Totsu for what he was capable of so he and his clan moved far away so he wouldn't find them.

I knew this from my father when he was helping me with my wounds. He was trying to teach me something about 'choosing your battles.' Instead of fighting Totsu and risking his clan's safety he left. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

                                         Flashback

"And that is why I left. When you are in those situations you must always ask yourself. Is this fight worth the risk?" Splinter finally finished his long and boring story. I rolled my eyes at him.

I had just got into a fight with some gang members and since Shini was out of town I had to ask father to help me with my wounds. I had bandages on my arms, legs and I even had a stupid band-aid on my cheek.

After he patched me up he took me to his secret hideout that had flowers and trees everywhere. How, he got them to grow without any sunlight? I will never know. He took me here so we could talk privately about my actions.

"It sounds more like running away to me." Splinter sighed. "Well, maybe if you had run away you would not be so injured."

"They attack first!" I argued. Splinter shook his head and stood up. "Miwa, you must learn to be more careful. A true ninja must know their limits." Splinter said while making tea and roman.

"Yes, but I want to push my limits. So I can be the best!" This might be my imagination but I could have sworn I heard Splinter snort at what I said. He cleared his throat. "It is good to push your limits Miwa, but not if you push yourself too hard." I sighed and rested my right cheek on my hand.

Couple minutes later, Splinter finished making the food and put it on a little wooden table. He sat down on a red square shaped pillow and gestured me to join him. I shrugged and sat down on the other side. He poured me a bowl and gave me some tea.

"Now you have a lot of bruising, scratches, and a sprained ankle. I want you to take a break from training and missions for at least a week." I almost choked on my food. "A week! No, that's not an option."