Octavius

xxxix

FINLEY

Chest pressed to the soft pure sheets of the bed, the hair-tie in my trembling fingers as I blinked back my tears before it finally escaped and trickled down my cheek. Relentlessly pouring down like salt on an open wound. Haunted by grave reality.

I could hear my breath quickening, the stone in my stone making it difficult for me to breathe, the sound of my harsh breathing echoing in the room as I tried to calm my heart rate down.

        I felt utterly powerless, the feeling of a heart attack, a life-threatening allergic reaction, or imminent death overwhelmed me.

        "Principessa."

"No. No." I sobbed into the sheets of the bed. "Get him back. We.. we have to get him back."

        "Little boss." Soft fingers gently attempted to pry the scrunchie from my fingers yet I resisted, a low groan deep in my throat. I didn't know how long I laid on the ground, curled into a ball with tears steaming down my face, and thinking one thought.

I want to die. I can't do this.

        Everything then stilled in slow motion as if I was stuck in a time loop where I couldn't scream, I could talk and all I could do was open my mouth attempting to find that words but even words had deserted me.

        Left me. Just like he did.

        A feeling of impending doom built in me, like being thrown in a closet and locked indefinitely, and I was lost in some  abandoned–panic infested–hell with no chance that anyone would hear my terror-filled screams or run to my rescue.

        Extremely claustrophobic, I began to hyperventilate at the thought of dying. Completely alone. The feeling of complete hopelessness dawned onto me and it felt as if I was stripped of any and all control, as if the world was spinning out from under me and there was nothing to hold me down.

        A gripping sensation burned through my whole chest and throat area, as if a lethal vice was squeezing me then I started shaking literally to the core of my body.

        "Sh." My arms outstretched out of instinct, desperately fighting against the hands that gently wrapped around my waist. Swept me into his arms, my teary face pressed firmly against the rustic fabric of his suit.

        My heart started  pumping like I was running Mount Everest, frozen, suspended in motion and I used every muscle in my body to stifle a whimper, forcing myself to breathe.

        "Sh, Topolina." His raspy, deep voice spoke firmly dissipating bits and pieces of the terror I felt but it was like my mind was taunting me. Messing around with my mental state, and deceiving my reality.

        His strong arms caged around me like electric wire, the sound of water running as he placed me on the ground. My feet crumbling, shaking beneath his strong weight, unable to hold my collapsing body steady.

"Breathe. In and out. Breathe with me." The sound of the softness, and uttermost gentleness in his tone brought heart-wrecking tears to my eyes. My breathing became harsh, an odd sob gasp sound escaped my mouth, and my body started to shake violently.