Octavius

xi

FINLEY

        I stared at the container of pills having already swallowed my normal dosage but decided to increase it slightly today. An immediate overwhelming, head rushing state of serenity draped over me like a thick blanket, followed by a slow, steady and relaxing calm like I was riding a wave with no exact destination.

All I needed was little boost to get enough the school day today, and hopefully I could make it through my first class of the day without feeling the need to jump out of my skin.

        "Bambi!" Gruffly deep voice yelled out. Brynn. "Get down here. Aubrey said you need to eat breakfast before school!" I blinked slowly, my brain attempting to catch up with the movement of my feet and though I was alert, it felt like with every step I took, I was getting shifted backwards. I could hear loud voices in harmony as I descended down the stairs but my brain wouldn't allow me to make translate their words into meanings.

        "Good morning, Champ." Bellamy greeted handing me a bowl of oatmeal. I mumbled a soft good morning in response to his greeting, placing the bowl on the counter before grabbing my cold brewed coffee from Brynn.

        "Everything okay, Bambi? You look a little out of it today." Brynn turned me around toward him and took my head in his soft, graceful hands forcing my eyes to meet his. His watchful gaze looked me up and down, coming up with a diagnosis for what was happening to me.

I shook my head slowly trying to reassure him. "I'm fine, a little sleep deprived but... but I'll be fine."

"Hm, you look fine but if you feel any different, let me know and I'll come and get you, okay?" I wanted — I needed to open my mouth to respond to his statement but all I could do was nod, shutting my eyes tight and clinging to Brynn, my fingers bunching up the fabric of his black leather jacket. "Hey... on second thought, maybe you shouldn't go to school today,"

"No, no. I'm fine, seriously." I took in a slow, deep breath and released it nodding so Brynn could be reassured from his worries. I couldn't miss any more classes than I had already missed this past week, Mama would be furious.

"Just stay home, kid." Darcy grunted swallowing a forkful of berries. He had a nonchalant stare as his anxious gaze flickered over me, concealing any worry he ever presented.

I sighed slowly desperately wishing they could— would understand the situation. "No, Darc. I really can't miss any more days."

"Okay. Okay, boys. Finnie, I want a text from you every hour telling me how you feel, and if you don't respond then I'm coming to get you. Deal?" Bellamy asked in his no-no-that's-final tone he used whenever he needed me to listen.

        "Mama—"

        Bellamy softly interrupted me. "-Blake will understand, all right? Missing another day is not a big deal. I wouldn't want you passed out on the side of the road somewhere." 

Reluctantly I nodded then grabbed my iced coffee from Brynn, giving him a slight scowl in response to our previous conversation.

Without giving my brothers another opportunity to chastise me about walking to school alone or trick me into staying home against my wishes, I quickly slipped into my dark converse shoes and adjusted the buttons of the white long sleeve buttoned sweater I garnered the courage to wear this specific morning.