Anabiosis -- Dazai Osamu Angst

11

Okay, I'm gonna be honest, this one was brutal even for me. If anyone is expecting it, I just want y'all to know that I will absolutely not be able to write an actual sm*t scene for this. Anyways! In less gross news, Kunikida POV! I wanted to try it out. Let me know if you want more character povs or if you'd rather I stick to Chuuya.

Please read the warnings before every chapter.

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TW/CW: GORE, Graphic child abuse, graphic violence, abuse/torture, eye trauma, pedophilia, implied/referenced prostitution, emetophobia, Mori Ougai

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Stay safe. Seriously. TLDR at the end.

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The darkness receded quickly this time, only leaving the group suspended in that agonizing void for a few moments.

As soon as Kunikida managed to catch his breath and his ears stopped ringing, it was apparent that this memory wasn't going to give them any time before the torture.

A sickening snap rang out and Kunikida could make out the sound of someone hyperventilating. He turned around, dreading what he would see. The previous memories still swirled in his head and his stomach twisted at how painfully wrong all of this was. The mafia boss had Dazai backed against a desk, forcing the boy (BOY! A literal CHILD!) to stay where he was. The brunette barely looked any older than the last memory (really, the only sign that time had passed was that his hair was longer), and his right eye was covered by a very bloody patch of gauze. Mori's expression was cold compared to his usual giddy ('disgusting,' Kunikida thought) excitement. Despite this, he could make out a slight flush on the older man's face. He ignored that to avoid throwing up.

Dazai was shaking and crying heavily, but he was deathly silent. No sobs escaped him, and no cries left his throat as Mori grabbed his left hand and snapped one of his fingers at the joint. For a moment, Kunikida noted that the boy must have been incredibly emaciated for a finger to give that easily. As soon as the thought came, however, it was pushed aside by the grizzly revelation that two other fingers on that hand and three fingers on the other were bruised and twisted. Presumably having been broken in the same fashion.

"Do you understand, Osamu? Or do I need to make it more clear than this?" Mori asked, his voice low and dangerous. Dazai shook harder at the sound but somehow managed to speak.

"M-Mori-san...I'm sorry-" He stuttered out, voice raspy and weak. The sound hurt Kunikida's heart and he wished more than anything that he could reach out and protect the child in front of him. Mori grabbed the boy's broken finger and twisted it. Dazai lurched forward with the motion, a natural reaction to instinctively avoid getting his finger ripped off. He was still silent. Not a single sound to indicate pain left him.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Mori repeated, tone mocking. "Sorry isn't enough for what you did, Osamu." He twisted the finger again, this time in the other direction, and Dazai squeezed his visible eye shut.

"I-I just thought-" The boy stuttered, and Kunikida was struck with the thought that it sounded as though he hadn't spoken in at least a few days. Mori growled and reached forward, grabbing the boy's face and digging his thumb into the gauze over his eye. Blood welled up around his finger and practically spurted through the bandage.

"You thought? Thought that I would be okay with your actions?" He hissed. Kunikida felt bile rise in his throat as a small smile spread over his lips and his flush deepened as he applied more pressure to the covered eye. Dazai's other eye was still closed, but his sobbing had gotten heavy enough that the idealist could see his chest heaving with gags sporadically. Mori finally loosened his grip and leaned away slightly, tilting his head. "I sent you on this mission as my personal dog. A little issue that pertained just to me. You've never disappointed me this much, Osamu."

Kunikida clenched his jaw to avoid gagging when he practically saw Dazai's expression fall into sheer horror at the words. As if disappointing Mori was the worst thing he could possibly do.

"I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to-" He began, voice even more wrecked than before. Mori practically surged forward and cut him off by digging his finger into the gauze again and wrapping his other hand around the boy's pale throat.

"Didn't mean to? Don't lie to me, Osamu." His grip tightened and Kunikida wasn't sure if the horrible feeling in his chest was sorrow or anger as the boy choked and gurgled from the pressure. "Do you mean to say that you didn't intend to sell yourself for information? That you didn't mean to let those filthy men fuck you?"

He finally loosened his grip on Dazai's throat, but Kunikida was too nauseous to feel relieved. His mind was reeling and running a thousand miles a minute. The other people he could vaguely register around him faded into nothingness. He was looking at a CHILD! A KID! At most 11 years old! The thought of an 11 year old selling his body to grown men, letting them use hi-

Kunikida turned and threw up. He registered Atsushi doing the same next to him. He was (as much as he hated it) pulled back to the scene in front of him by Dazai's voice.

"I'm sorry!" He sobbed, voice little more than a hoarse gurgle. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! P-Please!"

Kunikida dry heaved, his stomach empty. The sound of this, hearing his partner's voice (a CHILD'S voice) begging for mercy like this, all of it, combined with the gore and the horror and the disgust made his stomach turn violently. He barely registered the mafia boy, Akutagawa, crawling to the wall before curling up with his back to the room, covering his ears. A part of him wished he could do the same, but he was paralyzed, unable to do much more than turn his head. Mori laughed and Kunikida bit back another round of heaving.

"Oooh Osamu, It's been so long since you've begged for me." He cooed, finger still digging into his mutilated eye, hand still keeping air from passing his cracked lips. "You know that I'm only upset because I love you, right Osamu?" He whined. Kunikida did everything in his power to avoid acknowledging the clear arousal the man had developed. He was pretty sure he would lose his mind if he did.

Dazai nodded frantically, barely able to move his head because of Mori's painful grip. Mori smiled and finally released the boy's throat. He reached up, not moving his hand from the abused eye, and gently cupped his other cheek. Kunikida felt tears slipping down his own cheeks as the boy leaned into the touch desperately. Mori spoke up again.

"I love you so much, Osamu. The thought of anyone else having you makes me sad." He murmured, gently caressing his face with his thumb. "You're my doll, my prodigy. Nobody else is allowed to have you without my permission." He grinned as he spoke. His hand slowly pulled away from the eye, leaving a disgusting string of gore between the finger and the soiled gauze before it snapped. More blood surged from the injury, staining both the boy and the mafioso's clothes.

Mori leaned in to kiss Dazai and Kunikida felt his stomach twist with the feeling of bile in his throat. Before they made contact, however, everything faded to black again.

Kunikida hadn't cried like this in years. Now, it felt like he would never be able to stop. Never be able to stop mourning this child he hadn't been able to save. To stop mourning the life that had been so cruel to his partner. 

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Summary/TLDR:

Mori 'punishes' Dazai for uhhh...selling his body for information (yikes.). Kunikida doesn't handle it well, and we get to finally see some of what the others have been feeling during this. Our local blondie grapples with the reality of this whole mess, and can't handle the sight of a child suffering so much. Also, Mori is fucking disgusting. Nothing new there.