In This City of Ghosts

She saved my life, and she will never even know

Crisp, cold that smarted like a sudden clean cut

She came to me a popsicle, so I fed her and kept my mouth shut

The problem was we were tainted from day one

I wish we'd met sooner, that I hadn't been such a c***

She was there for every heartache, she saw the ghost in me and didn't run

She saw beneath the surface, past the webs of deception i told everyone

when I thought there was no laughter left in me to be had

she coaxed it out with playing dress-up and being bad

She went along with my crazy and even had some of her own

We agreed that grand theft auto didn't count if you brought it back home

I still giggle, recall her jokes, I still grin at the thought of all those times

she brought out laughter and not tears, when I thought I couldn't live and just wanted to die

She found a way to see my heart blackening before her eyes

she saw beneath it's cage and that my flat "I'm fine" was such a lie

I tried to be there for her as well

But i didn't know how, It must have been hell

When she was gone, as quickly as she had come

I cried all night, all week, and then some

I never told her that she was like a sister

because she came in with a bang and went out with a whisper

She saved my life, I tell her but I don't think she knows

every day that winter I was dying like all my flowers beneath the snow

sometimes those flowers come back in the spring

sometimes they just die, their memory barely a sting

My Patience has her to thank, that she was there when my Patience was not

before she showed up I had decided I'd given my all,  but I was done and that was all, no more thoughts

I was going, I was almost gone, My foot was out the door

But it bumped into hers on my way out and she brought me back to shore

Theres no way to repay her, no words I could express

That would ever tell her how much that she meant

I did not deserve her, even when she was mocking me i was still grateful

no matter how much i tried to tell her, without her there I would have went

She doesn't know how beautiful she is, inside and out

she deserves more than anyone could ever fathom, no doubt

She put up with my betrayal, past and once again to save face

to morons who never mattered never will, they just waste space

I'm so sorry I let that Maggot happen, didn't stop it just ignored it while it was under my roof

I am armed with a gun when I walk in on my lover with another woman, but I don't shoot

I deserve the plethora of what you might call 'women'

deserve the pattern of finding them in our bed, him never losing his bad rythym

I deserve all those tears, all the shame and the humiliation

The world should stand up and give my tears a standing ovation

I know she will never fathom what only I could understand

that when I was slipping under she was the only one there offering her hand

I pray one day I will do the same, that I may repay the favor

Of being the only one there, of being her savior

And I hope she knows that we had our differences, but I love moose too

If only for how much he truly loves her, if she could see what I see, if she only knew

The way he looks at her is the way I know she deserves

after all the bullshit, the fake friends,  the way he looks at her is true love for sure

these days I see her once in awhile, have outside idiot men tell me she isn't my friend

whenever we talk we compare notes that these are the same words used by all our men

But doll, they are just jealous, green with such envy

that we have each other when shit gets too heavy

And I think that's how it will always be

no matter how far away we are, divided by so many seas

when she calls I'll be there in less than a minute

and that's what kills everyone, that bond we have, that club we have, and they wont ever be in it