Loving A Spider (Feitan x Reader)

xvi

"You deny me." He mumbled, brushing some hair out of your face. "So I punish you. Bad girl." He hummed quietly. Something about his raspy voice saying those words made your stomach flip, but in a good way. You loved this feeling.

Feitans hands went from your face to your hands, examine your wrist with caution. "Anyone hurt you again... I kill them. Okay?" His piercing gaze shifted back to looking at you, and you could sense a threatening feeling coming from him. You gulped and nodded, giving him a thankful grin. 

"You don't have to kill anyone for me. I would hate for you to get caught because of me-" He placed a finger up to your lips, quickly shutting you up. 

"You think I am that weak? Clumsy? I never been caught, and I kill more people than I can count." He regretted what he said immediately. Were you going to be scared of him now? 

You chuckled... you chuckled. You didn't gasp, or get scared, or go silent. You chuckled. "You're such an emo." You giggled,  your uninjured hand grasping his and holding it tightly. Oh. So you're not brave... you're just dumb. 

"I'm serious. I'm more dangerous than what you think." He sighed and shook his head, pulling his hand out of yours. He didn't want to hurt you. He could never forgive himself. But accidents happen. What if you get caught up in his work. Or someone finds out you are important to him and takes you. 

"I know that you're dangerous. I know you're a murderer. I know you're a thief. I know all that! But somehow... my dumb brain is willing to look past all of that. To look past your little facade... and see what's really inside. To me, you are Feitan. The weird little emo who returned my mail. The person who cared about my injuries. The person who saved me from that creepy magician." Your smile faded as you became serious for a moment. "And I don't think any amount of you trying to push me away is going to change that. You're stuck with me." You sat up, now face to face with the man who was previously straddling you. "And I'm not sure if I could ask for anything better." You blushed, immediately regretting the words that came from your mouth. You got to caught up in the moment. You spilled your heart to this man who probably didn't reciprocate.

Feitan stared at you, trying to read your expression for any hint of a lie or joke. But you were 100 percent serious. While Feitan did reciprocate your feelings, that's exactly what he didn't want to hear. You wouldn't leave him. Not even for your own safety. And it's all his fault. 

"Am I interrupting something?" A voice sounded from the window. You both looked over to see Chrollo leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. Feitan quickly got off of you, leaving you flustered and longing. 

"What you want?" Feitan approached Chrollo, an angry expression taking place on his face. 

"Ah ah ah, can a boss not check up on his... employees?" Chrollo hummed, pushing himself off of the wall and approaching Feitan. You stoop up and brush the wrinkles out of your clothes, standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed. Chrollo smiled at you, a sort of fake smile that made you shudder. "May we step outside, Y/N, I would like to talk to Feitan." You gulped and nodded. What were you supposed to say? No? 

Chrollo and Feitan stood out in the hallway. You sat on the bed impatiently. Straining your ear, you were able to pick up little snippets of conversation, but not enough to understand what they were talking about. After a few minutes, Feitan walked back in, but Chrollo was gone.

"Where did he go?" You stood up immediately and brushed wrinkles from your clothes.

"Come on. We go back now." Feitan grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the hotel, you following behind him sluggishly.

"What? Why? Am I in trouble?" You took your hand out of his. Something seemed different, he seemed angry, but you couldn't tell who it was directed towards. He didn't answer you, he just kept walking. You stopped walking, glaring at him a bit. "What happened? Tell me, or else I'm not moving!" He turned around glaring at you.

"Just... trust me. Chrollo not say why he want you. Just bring you back." He scowled.

"Why are you so pissed?" You crossed your arms, not moving an inch. Feitans eyebrows twitched in a bit of irritation.

"Just mind you own business. Now shut up and walk." He walked back to you and grabbed your arm, a bit more forcibly this time.

He hated being mean to you. But he did this for you. For your own good. Your words from earlier nestled into his brain, digging and hitting every weak spot he had.

She's lying

She's tricking you so she can have her freedom back.

She's just that dumb. That naive to believe you're a good person.

You don't deserve her.

Those thoughts swarmed his brain, swirling around until it was all he could hear. He did... enjoy your presence, but he couldn't let this go on.

You'd only get hurt in the end.

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AN: *blows dust off of cover of this book* its been awhile folks, I'm really sorry, that short break ended up being really long, uhhh a lot of stuff happened, school was overwhelming, my cousins were visiting, a funeral haha so yeah, sorrryyyy but I'll try to update more often now