Where Have We Come From?

I, The Amalgamate

Hello, I am Cannie. Mr. St. Peters bought me from a yard sale.

Hello, I am Photon. I was tossed out a window and landed on his lawn. His dog dragged me in.

Hello, I am Raz. I was damaged in a horrific accident. A woman repaired me and put me up for sale. Elmo St. Peters bought me.

Hello, I am Mish-Mash. I was made for a competition. I could write a whole book about that, but I won't. It was funny, scary, and just too confusing to be in a book.

I didn't win. Guess that was just my lot. Still is silly losing to an oven built to look like a fridge. How is Freezeflame 'the craziest contraption'?

The thing worth explaining is why Master St. Peters joined that competition. You see, he's both a fisherman and an electrician, and (apparently), his fishing exploits got him featured on a radio show. The fame went to his head, and then he saw an ad for the contest and decided to join.

Yes, I'm essentially a fame buzz made metal. Whoo-pee.

You're probably going to ask if my component appliances died or not. Well, in a word, yes. In a word, no. In a word, partly. They don't exist as individuals anymore, but they also aren't gone. I hold all of their memories, and most of their opinions and annoying personality traits. This might just be because I'm crazy, but sometimes my little voice (called a 'conscience', apparently) sounds like one of them. In my dreams, they're usually with me, and they act more believably in dreams than anyone else.

The strangest thing about me is that I'm unique. I have no brand or company. Altair's like that too. Perk comes close. 'E has a brand, but is very obviously visually distinct. (Tiv doesn't count because damage doesn't count.) Gah, how did I get so off-topic in three sentences?

As I was saying, I'm truly distinct. Sometimes it makes me feel special, but mostly I just feel... lonely. There's no one in the world who really understands me. Most appliances can't even tell what I am.

Life in the parts shop is... vaguely tolerable if you're not in danger of dying. Master wouldn't take me apart. He won third place with me, now I just decorate his shop. Like Perk, who he made into a Halloween decoration. 'E insists 'e's not, but I've seen Master St. Peters hanging h' from a tree outside on October 31st. It's actually kind of funny; the drills fight about who has to go outside and watch h'.

Perk loved being suspended by string even before that, though. Wait, wasn't this supposed to be about me? Gah, even to myself I'm not that important.

I, well part of me, used to live next door. I have no idea why Young Mistress would even have a desk lamp, she never reads books or studies. It's not like her mother bought Photon for her to study, either. She couldn't care less about her daughter's school work.

Equally inexplicable is why they had a book on quantum mechanics. That's where Photon got h' name, a "photon" is a particle of light. Then, one day, the other appliances had had enough of my quantum obsession (admittedly, I was kind of annoying) and tried to grab the book from Photon. In the scuffle, I was thrown out of the side window and landed in Master's yard. There were some bushes that broke Photon's fall, thankfully. Then Quadruped found me, and, thinking that I had escaped from the shop, dragged me back to Elmo St. Peters.

Well, there was a lamp of the same brand as Photon in the shop at the time, so I can see why Quad made the mistake.

Funnily enough, that other lamp was the only appliance ever to escape.

Another part of me belonged to a seemingly normal family. Raz had two Young Masters (they were twins), and Whorl (a curling iron) came up with what we're supposed to call them to distinguish them: Red Young Master and Blue Young Master. (That was based on their favorite colors.) One day, Blue Young Master came into the bathroom crying over something... I never figured out what it was. Raz wasn't exactly the smartest appliance. Something bumped Raz's switch, turning h' on. Blue YM didn't even notice until he rested his arm on the counter, and the blade cut his arm. Humans are so wet inside... the blood shorted Raz out.

When I came to, some woman had just finished fixing me. She sold Raz to Elmo St. Peters, and here I stand today.

Now the remaining third was just replaced by something more Cutting Edge and then sold at a yard sale.

Hey, it's almost time for my part in the song... Am I feeling intelligent, snarky, or self-deprecating today?

Well, I'm not that smart or that funny...

Definitely self-deprecating.