When You Were Mine.

3.

"Him as in her f-a-t-h-e-r." I say, spelling it out and whispering it to Tia to prevent Rose questioning me. "Yes, him." Tia says and i begin to panic. "I'm gonna take her out of the highchair." I say to Tia as i lift her out and put her on the inside of the booth, giving her some orange juice and her muffin. "He's coming over." Tia tells me and I try to calm down. "Oh lord." I say. "Well, long time no see." Roger says and slides into the booth beside Tia. "Hello, Roger, how come you're back in town?" Tia says, giving me a reasuring look as i play with Rose. "Well, now I'm 18 I wanted to come back, wasn't the same, and I prefer London." He says, looking at me. "Mummy." Rose says, tugging at my sleeve. "Yes honey." I say, fixing her hair. "Toilet." She whines. "Okay, ill take you." I say sliding out the booth. "Diana, you stay, I'll take her, I think you need to talk." Tia says as Roger stands up and let's her out and I lift Rose and hand her to her.

"So, what's her name?" Roger asks, moving to sit down beside me. "Rose Jones." I say, not really knowing what to say to him. "Who's the lucky guy, he must be a good man, you and your high standards." He says, jokingly. "Yeah, we need to talk, as soon as possible." I say to him and his face drops and pales. "Here." He says, scribbling on a napkin an address and a phone number. "Can you do tonight, ugh, around 7?" He asks me. "Yeah, I'll ask my mum to watch her." "Take her with you, if we're talking about what I think we're talking about then I think you should tell her too." He says, and I don't want to disagree with him but I have to." No, not yet." I say as Rose and Tia come back. "Right, I'll leave you ladies alone, speak some time soon, maybe." He says standing up. "Yeah." I say, finishing my coffee. "Bye." He says walking off, his eyes lingering on rose for a littls bit.
"How did it go?" Tia asks, finishing her tea and fishing for her purse in her bag. "I'll pay, but we're meeting at seven." I say to her and she looks taken aback. "Good luck with that, wanna go shopping?" She asks and I agree.

A few hours later, me and Rose get home. My mum reheats the dinner she made us and we both eat it. Afterwards, i let Rose go watch movies with Sam and Erin in the living room and I get dressed into comfier clothes, grey jogging bottoms and a tank top with a baggy zip up hoodie. It's about 6:40 and I walk downstairs and ask my dad to drive me to the apartment block. I get out of the car and thank him, telling him I'll get a taxi home. I walk up to the fourth floor and walk to the end of the hall. I knock on the apartment door that has the same number he wrote down on the napkin. My nerves start to build as I hear a key turn in the door and the door open. "Uh, hi." I say and Roger opens the door and invites me in. He ushers me to the living room and tells me to sit down on the sofa. "I got pizza from that place I know you like." He says, sitting down beside me.

"After." I say, just wanting to get everything out on the table. "Can we get the talking out of the way first?" I ask, getting more nervous. "Yeah, of course." He says, turning to face me. "I- I tried to reach you, I wrote to you, called you and your mum answered and I told her I was pregnant and she threatened me to stay away from me, told me to get rid of her." I say, wiping the few tears away that I have on my face. "She knew?" "Yeah, I'm so sorry I should of done more to tell you that you're a dad." I say, fully crying now. He moves over to me and hugs me. "It's okay, I hate that I haven't been around for the first few years, but please do not blame yourself, it's not your fault, as long as our little girl is alright." He says, rubbing my back. "When can I meet her?" He says as I pull my head off his shoulder and wipe away my tears. "Well, this week some time, I have a little idea." I say thinking on next Saturday. "It's rushed, especially for her, she's not one for change, but I think we can make it work." "You know, I always liked your little ideas, so hit me with it." "Well, me and Tia are going out next Saturday, and I think it might be good for you to have a little alone time with her for a few hours." " I'd love that, but we have pizza to eat and I happen to know you hate your pizza cold so eat up, we'll talk over the rest after, maybe watch a movie and catch up." "Yeah, I'd like that." I say as he opens the box.

The next few hours, we make a plan for him meeting her. We decide that I'll stay with rose in his spare room so they can bond. We also decide that if this week works, I'll stay for a month then and we'll see what comes of it.

I leave his flat after watching a few movies and talking about what happened after he left on both sides. When i get home, Its around 1 and Rose is asleep. I get into the shower and afterwards change into comfy pyjamas and go to bed, sleeping easily without the usual ifs and whats about if Rose had Roger in her life, now that she will.