Under The Mango Trees

Chapter Fifty-Five : In Between Dev and Lila Part 2

Lila allowed silence to permeate in the car as I sat with my hands holding my head. In the beginning, I was thankful for that silence which she gave me, despite her still being spontaneous and untamed like a wildflower, she was aware of the consequences. That was a change in her that I didn't catch these past days we met, her ability to remain silent and reflect.

"Just say something," I burst out, rubbing my weary eyes. "My mind is messed up."

As she drove the car without its quirks and mishaps, she said in a voice that was unlike her, thoughtful and soft, "Do you like him?"

"We have been dating for over two years. What do you think?"

"I saw you with him," her words came from a distant voice. "You both looked happy together."

"When you saw us during Diwali? Why didn't you come up to me then?"

"You both were happy," she murmured to herself, gazing out at the dimming city lights before switching on the radio and the car blasted with overdramatic breakup pop songs to which she never sang along. Over the music, we had the smallest small talk that echoed the smallness of our voices. I asked her some questions about her life back in the US, her routine, her food, her college to which her answers didn't cross four or five words as if an invisible boundary was separating us. When she responded, she was still thinking like I was when I asked her. Finally, we arrived at my building and that was when she said more sprightly, "See, I brought you home without hitting any aunty!"

"Yeah. . . Thank you," I said, feeling her words out of place with that prolonged silence. I struggled to unbuckle the seat belt, my hands groping awkwardly then desperately when I realized how trapped I felt. She leaned over like a sunflower towards the sun, her face so close to mine that I didn't dare to breathe. One little movement and we would become one.

"Are you going to tell him?" she asked, popping the buckle open, leaning away and flashing me a teasing smile that said, "Look, how easy!"

"I'm going to tell him, yes. I still love him, you know. I don't know what happened with me today, but I do love him. A lot. That's the first thing I'm going to do, tell him and I can only hope that he'll still want me," I said and noticing that silent, introspective look on her face, I added quickly, "We can meet, but strictly as friends. I can't let go---if only you want."

"Why are you being so formal? Of course, we're friends forever." Her gaze fluttered to the silhouette of a figure outside the window and towards my apartment. "Isn't he Raul? Same car too. . . Oh and that's Pavitra, no? They're them!"

"What?" I threw myself over her to peer out of the window and it was undeniably them, standing as close as lovers do. "What the hell! Lila, go home. I need to get out now."

"But---"

"Just go home, please!" I shouted, shutting the car door and dashing in the dark where the darkness amassed into two shapes of so-called humans. "Pavitra! Raul!" At the sound of my voice, one of the shapes disintegrated and before I could seize and strangle it, it got into a shiny car and faded away. Another shape took bored steps towards the stairwell and I rushed after it, grabbing its arm. "What the hell were you doing with him? Have you gone mad? And how? Just, how?"

"I met him on Facebook. Are you jealous because of how handsome he is?" It had the audacity to grin in the most vulgar manner and when my sharp nails dug into the tough, unfeeling skin, it pushed me and stomped on the stairs. "You need to chill. You have a boyfriend."

"Are you kidding me? Why on earth---no, this is because you want to take revenge on me! You want to get back at me for some sick pleasure of yours---"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, darling."

"But why him? What is your business with him?"

"Fucking," it tossed the word out so casually that I clawed at its hair, feeling some of them pull and snap like strings of a broken violin. It screamed like that too, a harsh screech and it was only when it grabbed my hair that it stopped screeching. The broken violin and I stared at each other, urging to scream our raw throats out, but never surrendering. At last, it spat out, "I never knew you were so old-fashioned."

"I don't care how much you sleep around," I fired back. "As long as it's not with the people I know. First, it was Lila's father, now Raul---why are you such a---"

"Whore? Slut? Say it, come on, say it!"

"Why don't you just---"

"Die? I might," it said with the most disturbing smile and I let go of its hair, vile and greasy.

"There's no use talking to you," I muttered, removing the phone from my pocket with fingers trembling in excitement and clicking on Raul's number. Within few rings, the call blinked green and through gritted teeth, I whispered, "Stay the fuck away from Pavitra---" It snatched the phone, but too late, I had already cut the call and set off towards home. "Find someone else or better yet, find a job and be useful."

It didn't utter a word after that at home or otherwise and I believed that it would be the end, until the next day when Lila showed up for a walk and we chatted like old friends. We were so peaceful that for some time, I forgot that she was my first love. We returned home at twilight like free birds who flew to their nests. The pink glow was melting fast like cotton candy into the sky, dripping into the darkness that greedily sucked it and licked off its last bits. Lila pointed towards one remaining cotton candy cloud and said, "Looks like your boob, big and soft!"

"And here I thought we were going great as friends," I joked, making her giggle and lean towards me for support and just then, I thought that I spotted someone under the Jamun trees. It was so brief like a sudden flash of light that I was left blinking and thinking who it was. Lila and I separated soon after and again, I met Pavitra at the gate of our apartment. "Don't tell me you met him again today?"

"No, I met someone special today," it said with its lips curling. "As you looked out for me yesterday, I returned the favour today."

"What-what do you mean?"

"Your boyfriend came by and stood waiting for you behind that tree," it continued without a hint of guilt or remorse. "To not waste his time and save his poor heart, I told him about you and that pretty girl---" She took a step forward, enunciating, "Li-la."

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