Under The Mango Trees

Chapter Twenty Six : In Between Tulsi And Tulsi

I looked at the three of them from the rearview mirror of the Audi. Anthony was sandwiched between Lila and Raul, incognizant of what transpired between the two. He was gazing steadily out of the window, riveted by the stocky palm trees passing by. Meanwhile, Raul was on his phone. I relaxed when I saw Lila patting the Tulsi plant as if petting a puppy, whispering sweet nothings to it. She found the unsuspecting plant growing in the backyard of the villa and realizing that it was a Tulsi plant, she purloined it. Ever since we sat in the car to return home, she would randomly call my name only for me to turn back and find her addressing the plant. It was a game that gave an inexplicable pleasure to her so I let her be.

"Tulsi? Tulsi! I swear I'm talking to you this time---"

"No, I'm not listening to you," I cut her off, smiling and taking a glimpse of her worked up face in the rearview mirror. There was another pair of eyes scrutinizing our little exchange, no longer looking at his phone. He didn't know about us, I was sure of it. If he knew, I would have definitely received a free ticket to hell, the ticket being inclusive of all, from skimming my flesh to hammering my bones to the size of broken seashells. But his silence was unnerving and kept me alert every second of the day. What if he was scheming just this moment to rip apart Lila and me, carefully, like tearing a paper in equal halves with a sharp ruler?

"Why don't you trust me, Tulsi? I'm talking to you," Lila whined, kicking the back of my seat. "I need your attention! Your love!"

I didn't want her to give that sleazy prick any more hint of our love affair, so I turned back and snapped, hoping she would stop talking to me for some time, "What?"

A grin like a bright, white crescent moon spread across her lips and she flushed in triumphant pleasure. Goodness, she was prettier than any celestial being. "What, what? Do you want to say something? Sorry, I'm super busy talking to my Tulsi here that I didn't hear what you said." She patted the plant deliberately and whispered to it, "I swear I was talking to you only. You're my true love, Tulsi."

I felt the same pair of eyes on me, gauging how I would react like a carnivore hunting a deer. I didn't indulge Lila and clicked my tongue at her before quietly focusing on some stunted palm trees wedged between tall ones. The keen eyes retreated and I could breathe easily again. If I was a spectator witnessing this comedy, I would have laughed every time some naive words slipped out of Lila's lips and the predator caught them in his dirty hands and used them as a spear to pierce me. I remembered Lila assuring me that Raul didn't know, he couldn't, Lila's personality was such that it appeared that she was in love with every person and everything she came across. How then could he think about two girls being in love?

The ride home was riddled with questions that popped one after another like terrible breakouts. I grew so quiet that Lila texted me, "did you sleep?" I thought that excuse was wonderful so I pretended to sleep and it wasn't long before I was so deep in my cosy slumber that when I woke up, I had pillow marks like the marks of tires on a dirt road. And I had reached Mumbai.

It felt like a dream, unloading my baggage and dragging the trolley bag across the pavement to the entrance of my apartment, my eyes barely open to vaguely make out the outline of the building. It was past midnight, but Lila was still energetic as I heard her Cinderella flip-flops slapping the ground behind me. I turned slightly towards her and could see her skin pale in the dark. I wanted to touch her, but she looked like an angel then, too pure to be sullied by me. She leaned down and lightly kissed the plant in her hands, her eyes dancing towards me. She wanted to kiss me too. "Love you! See you tomorrow, Tulsi."

Before I could tell her that I loved her, she scurried back to the Audi where Manu alone was patiently waiting, the other two pests- Anthony and Raul had been dropped to their houses. I watched the car be engulfed by the silent darkness of the street, then took the elevator to my apartment. I didn't want to disturb my sleeping parents, rather, I didn't want to face their cranky selves after waking them up, so I fished out the keys which were hidden under the pile of clothes. I opened the door inertly to find the television switched on and muted in the dark living room, the light from it flashing dramatically like thundering. Who on earth kept the TV switched on at this hour---?

"Oh, it's you. Eh . . . I thought it was a burglar. Would have brought some excitement in this household," my sister, Pavitra, drawled, getting up clumsily from her lying position on the couch. I couldn't see her face in the dark, just the oval outline like the outline of the building, Lila, plant. She had her hair loose and I would admit, she looked petrifying in the dark. "How was your trip? I heard there were boys too. No wait, don't answer. I forgot it's you. The trip must have been the most boring thing in the world."

"Why are you here?" I asked flippantly, irritated that she was in one of her cruel moods.

"Why? Isn't this my house too?" She sighed conspicuously as if the entire burden of this world had fallen on her thin shoulders. A sigh that made me feel heavy and misplaced. "How heartless everyone is. I marry and I'm no longer welcome here. I feel like a sold product with no returns." I was sure that she smiled wickedly now. "I shouldn't worry though. You'll be next."

"I . . . I have time for that. Anyway, I'm going to sleep. I don't have the energy to deal with you."

"Good choice," she remarked, going back to lying on the couch and watching a soundless sitcom on the TV.

I headed straight for my room and threw myself freely on the bed, letting my head hit the sunken pillow. There was a bitter aftertaste in my mouth after interacting with Pavitra, but I had an antidote for that. Lila. Her last words replayed in my head like music on repeat, love you, see you tomorrow, Tulsi. Later, I would recall this night and wince terribly at my foolishness. Hope made us all fools. Just like love. Because I would never see her the next day or the day after. Or even a month after. It would be years when I would finally see Lila again. And then it would be so late that I would wish that I had never met her. Too many chaotic things would have happened for me to love her again.

Chaos would be familiar and love for her would be alien. The wonderful and the ugly would dance in tandem to create a wonderfully ugly world. Hope would keep battering my hopelessly hopeful heart till I no longer would want her. After all, how much could a young love take?

Better never than late.

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