Under The Mango Trees

Chapter Fifty-One : In Between Dev and Lila

"Dev," I breathed, throwing my arms over his broad shoulders and collapsing against him. His arms were immediately around me, firm, safe, comforting like a cocoon. When minutes had flitted away, taking away the tension in my body with it, he pulled away. Yet his arms were around me, not budging the slightest.

Gone was the ironic look in his eyes as the lines of worry dug deep in between his eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

"I just missed you," I said, but the lines deepened. He was observant and like an eagle hunting rodents, he could spot lies. That unnerved me and my voice wavered, the deadly silence letting my lies ring in my ears as I spoke, weighing each word as I did, "It's been two months since we last met and I just missed you a-a lot. Now that summer is here, I have more time on my hands to overthink and . . ."

"But I love you," he said, his voice a matter-of-fact statement and confusion evident in his eyes at my sudden appearance. "You have never done this before, Tulsi." Then his voice became low, soft, patient. "What happened?"

"I just miss you," I repeated exasperatedly and leaned against him. "I'm sorry I showed up like this. Shit. Is anyone at home?" A boyish smile broke on his lips at that and my heart-beats slowed at seeing the amusement dancing in his eyes. "What? Is anyone at home?" He didn't say anything, the smile playing on his lips as I heard the door shut behind me, catching me off-guard. "Oh, so nobody's home . . ."

No words passed between us and within seconds, I found myself sitting on top of a table with his body in between my legs. It was afternoon, but the grey, gauzy curtains were drawn and none of the lights was switched on. A heavy darkness loomed over us and through it, our eyes stayed connected. We were not touching, but so close that I could feel the rise and fall of his chest, so silent that I could hear his slow, calm breathing. As for me, I didn't know whether I was breathing or not, alive or dead. I didn't care who I was or what was going to become of me as I stared into those dark eyes. That brooding look of his as if he was trying to see through me, to read and study me like a book.

Then I nodded in a daze and at that instant, his lips roughly captured mine, his hands holding my wrists down on the table. That was how he kissed me, commanding, but never demanding more than what I wanted. Our first kisses after months were always like this, he was cruder, rougher and direct. And it took only a few seconds for my tingling toes to curl and our breathing to become heavy with desire, but my burning body could never recuperate from the shock of such a kiss.

When he pulled away to let me catch my running breath, I heard him murmur to himself, "If I could do this to you every day."

That was it. That was what made me blissfully forget Lila for the next two weeks. Just two weeks until she came.

*

It began when I was sauntering back home after hearing Jazz gush about how cute Dev and I looked in some of the pictures and that flattery was so smeared over my heart that I was recovering from the quiet, exhilarating giddiness. A lanky figure crossed the street, that familiar stoop snapped me out of my reverie and arrested my attention. Since I was in a happy mood and by then our eyes had already met, I waved at him.

"How are you?" That was the first thing Anthony asked in an almost breathless voice, although he was steps away from me. That was the only thing he asked on those rare texts too, perhaps after wishing a happy birthday or happy Diwali. At a closer look, he was starting to fill up his clothes. I could see the sleeves of his t-shirt tightening, billowing it inside like a little girl's puffed sleeves.

"I'm good," I said, but his eyes were shifty and guilty and it didn't look like he had heard me. After two years or more and this was how he was, still nervous as ever if not more. "How are you?"