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trigger warning: self harm.
Five looked at my arm dreadfully. His marbles filled with sadness. "Y-Y/N- Are those-" He said, his voice breaking since he couldn't believe it. I sighed and looked down at my arm.
"Yeah, their scars." I told him. "Scars from what?" He asked, even though he knew the answer. I sat down on his comfy bed and stopped trying to stop him. I brought up my knees to my chest, in sadness. Five looked at me and saw how there were tears in my eyes.
"If you don't wanna talk about this, you don't have to" He said quickly. I looked at him in the eyes. I knew I could trust him, and I know he was the only one I could trust. "I think it's time I vented to someone. Only if you would listen" I said to him. He sat down beside me and took my hand.
"Of course I would listen, Y/N. What kind of person do you think I am?" He said. I chuckled sadly, "Okay". Both me and Five got comfy and pulled the blankets up to our laps. "Well, you may know that I never really got along with the rest of you guys, right?" I asked him. He nodded gently. "When we turned 12, we had a party, remember? It was the first party dad gave us as kids." I told him.
"You might not remember but Luther, Allison, and Diego all told me to leave, because apparently I was normal, and this was a party was special people only. And that's when it started. Through anger and sadness of not being accepted by my own siblings really saddened me as a child, and I resulted to something I should have never done. I cut myself. I didn't know what I was thinking, but I did it. Surprisingly, there was a lot of sharp items in the bathroom, I did it whenever I felt sad or angry."
As I told him all these he looked at me with dear eyes. I, in fact, had tears running down my cheeks like a river. I also often choked on my tears as I spoke, so I took breaks.
"I did it for almost a year. It started with just my arm, later moving to my belly, legs, and it when on and on. A little after we all turned 13, I started seeing the effects on myself. Not only did I feel down all the time, but the after pain was getting to me, resulting to me to stop. I was slowly starting to heal. Physically, not mentally. I was still sad." I cried quietly.
Five took his arm and gently moved it to my back, rubbing it up and down to comfort my tears.
"But then I got stuck in the black void, stopping all my body functioning. So, now I have it stuck on my skin forever. When I came back from the void, it started healing, but not at the same pace like before. And now, it's permanent"
"I tried to hide it. Tried to forget about it, but of course that had to be the hardest thing ever." I trembled. Five moved from hands from my back to my cheek and used his thumb to wipe the tears away.
"Remember that your not alone, okay? Don't hesitate to talk to me. I won't push you away. I may not relate to you, but I can understand you. Life can be lonely and sad sometimes, but I talked to someone. Or something in my case." He said.
