"AVERAGE" is the sole descriptor that 26-year-old Anaisha Singh assigns to herself. Having resided within the confines of her own shell for the entirety of her life, Anaisha lacks friends she can consider family and a social life to speak of. The pi...
Zipping up my handbag, I briskly navigate my way towards the washroom on the company floor. My phone emerges from my pocket as I prepare to shoot a quick text to my mother. Upon reaching the washroom, I swiftly tame my wavy hair, attempting to make it look a little presentable.As I begin my search for the little tube of lip balm in the haphazardly arranged handbag , my phone chimes flashing the name of the person I absolutely wasn't prepared to have a conversation with at the moment . Taking in a deep breath , I swipe the green icon on the screen and instantly regret my decision . Angry words of how irresponsible and incapable I am of managing time are spewed at me from the other end. "Ma" I say as I try to suppress the sigh that nearly escapes my mouth. " I'll start as soon as you keep the phone down. I know its late I'm sorry " I say knowing no amount of cajoling while on the phone would work right now. The other end goes silent for a few seconds before she tells me to hurry up and not get any more late than I already was. The only assurance that she wasn't as angry as she seemed was when she said " Please eat something when you reach the place , don't shy away because he's a stranger". I let out a little laugh before I cut the call.
Reaching my desk, I grab my laptop bag and turn to notify my colleagues, Urvi and Shubh, who happen to be among the very few good friends I have at work. When I had shared my early log-off plan with them earlier in the day, they were genuinely excited. Now, in front of me, they beam with their brightest smiles, and we quickly share a group hug. Promising to catch up on Monday, I bid them goodbye and dash towards the elevator.
Pressing the button for the parking lot, I steal a glance at my wristwatch and silently send a prayer to God, hoping for a timely arrival.
Driving through the evening traffic was a challenge, but I managed to reach Cafe Brew in record time. As I parked the car and unbuckled my seatbelt, a moment of self-reflection in the rearview mirror reminded me of the significance of the evening – meeting a man who could potentially be my future husband. In that brief pause, my insecurities and inhibitions flooded my mind.
Standing at a mere 5 feet, with what some might consider a 'not so' pretty face, I endured constant bullying and taunts throughout my school years. It was a harsh reminder that I fell outside society's narrow definition of beauty. In a world obsessed with long legs, picturesque images, and heavily made-up faces, I stood as an outlier. The relentless taunts left me vulnerable, allowing insecurities to take residence in both my mind and heart.
Over the years, I shed a significant amount of weight, reaching a point where I no longer faced potential health complications associated with being overweight. As I stepped into the real world, I fortified myself mentally to survive. I made progress, training my mind to set aside insecurities and seize opportunities, especially in my professional life, where my confidence in my knowledge proved beneficial.
However, I knew I didn't want to perpetuate that facade in my personal life. I craved a genuine relationship – a connection where someone would embrace me for who I truly am. I longed for someone who could look past my insecurities, understand their origins, and appreciate my strengths. I yearned for a partner who would see beyond my appearance and ultimately be someone in front of whom I could let my guard down.
As I stood outside Cafe Brew, contemplating these thoughts, a few silent tears escaped my eyes. Chuckling humorlessly, I wiped them away and rubbed my face to erase all traces. Putting up a practiced smile, I got out of the car, locked it, and entered the cafe.
Inside, I scanned the room to spot the familiar face that until now, I had seen only inside the circular frame of a social media display picture. There he was, Samaksh Mehrotra, engrossed in typing on his phone. I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath, hoping to calm my nerves. When I opened them, he was standing in his place, smiling warmly at me. In that moment, the practiced fake smile on my face turned into a genuine one.
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