I found love again - clexa in highschool

"I'm fucking scared, but..."

-Clarke's POV-

Monday, 21.00 , 9 PM. 

I gave her a kiss on her cheek and went to sit at the table. I saw Lexa sit down, her face was slightly red. I smirked at her, which made her even more red.

"I am happy I'm finally meeting you Lexa; Clarke has been talking about you nonstop." Now I felt my blood rising to my face.

We got to talking and it was really fun, we laughed, my mom told childhood stories about me. Even the embarrassing ones, like the one time I was baking a cake with Raven, mom, and my dad. My mom said. "You know what is tasty?" and I full on said; "Raven" obviously too young to know the double meaning of that.

At the end of the evening there was a bump in the road, my mom asked Lexa what her parents did...

"I-uhmm, I would rather not talk about that, they're not really there you know." So my mom just nodded and changed the subject, but I was left wondering why she didn't tell her. I mean she's my mom, she is gonna know sooner or later... it bugged me. Didn't she trust my mom, okay yes, they just met but I've been talking about her. She basically already knows everything about my mom. I decided to leave it for now, but ask about it tonight when we would be alone.

When we were washing the dishes, Lexa noticed something was up with me. "Can we talk for a moment?" I nodded and told my mom we would be in my room.

Once I shut the door behind us Lexa took my face in her hands. "What's up?" I sighted and went to sit on the bed, letting go of Lexa's hold.

"I am just wondering why you didn't tell my mom about your parents; I mean she is my mom, doesn't she need to know. isn't she important to you..." Okay maybe this wasn't the best way to handle this, and it certainly didn't come out the right way.

Lexa was quiet for some time, which scared me a bit. She walked over to my desk and went to sit on the chair. Her elbows resting on her knees, looking at the floor. "Clarke" She looked up in my eyes. "Do you know how hard this is for me... and I'm gonna need you to let me finish what I'm about to say okay" I nodded and Lexa looked at the floor again, taking her time to form the words in her mouth.

"I'm scared Clarke... in fact I am terrified, I've ever only loved one person, and this is speaking beside Aiden okay. I've only ever let one person in, and she is gone. I only ever let my walls down once and she is gone. I can't handle that process again Clarke. I loved her so much. I let her in, I told her everything about me, but even then, with her, it took a year to have told her everything... and how long do I know you Clarke, a month maybe and I have already let you in completely. It fucking scares me. I am terrified. But at the same time, it feels so, so good. I have never been happier. But I can't just tell people things about myself, my brain doesn't let me, except with you... I love you Clarke... more than Costia and I think that scares me the most."

I heard her voice break at that last sentence, she didn't look up in my eyes, they were just fixated on the ground. I kneeled in front of her and let my hands slip to her cheeks, I tilted her head up, forcing her to look me in the eyes. I could see her eyes filled with tears and that sight absolutely broke me. I nodded to confirm that I understood her and pulled her head on my chest. I just hugged her and gave her kisses on the top of her head. We stayed like that for a while.

Around half an hour had passed when I broke the silence. I pulled back from our hug to look her in the eye again. "I'm sorry" She just nodded "I know, it's okay. I never told you." We went to stand up again. "Still..." She let a small shy smile out and looked me in the eye. She took a step closer and pressed her lips firm against mine. That kiss saying all the things we couldn't say with words. When we broke apart, I looked in her eyes. "I love you too."