Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 27

As soon as Ben has opened his eyes, he looks over at his boyfriend.
Joe is still asleep, and is snuggled deep into his duvet.
And even though he loves how peaceful the younger boy looks, Ben decides to wake him up before the doctor gets here. The blond slides out of bed, and sits down onto the edge of Joe's bed.
Joe scrunches his nose at the feeling of the mattress denting a little, but doesn't open his eyes.
“Hi love.” Ben whispers. He lets his hand move towards Joe's hair, and gently threads his fingers through it. He smiles at the little curls that have gotten their own will after all the nights at the hospital.
After simply sitting like that for a while, Ben leans in. “I love you.” He kisses Joe's forehead, earning a small puff of air from the boy.
Joe's eyelashes flutter a little as his nose scrunches again.
"Joey?" Ben asks, not sure whether the boy is awake yet.
The ginger lets out a soft groan. "Hm... What time is it?" He mumbles with his eyes still closed.
Ben looks at his phone. "It's ten o'clock." He says softly. "Goodmorning." He whispers before leaning in again, this time to peck Joe's cheek. His eyes dance over his boyfriend's face, loving his groggy morning smile.
Joe lets out a content groan. "Morning." He mumbles. He slowly opens his eyes, smiling up at the blond. "Can we cuddle?" He pouts.
Ben nods. "Of course. Just hold on a sec, okay?" He says before getting up from the bed.
Joe looks at the boy with a raised eyebrow, watching him grab something from under his hospital bed.
Ben whips out a wrapped gift box, and Joe immediately sees his name shining on the wrapping paper.
“I ehm, I got you a Christmas present.” Ben mutters with red cheeks.
Joe feels his heart flutter. “Awgh, you did?” He asks.
Ben nods. "Yeah, I let Rami go to the mall for me. I just wanted to give it to you in private, which is why I didn't give it to you yesterday." He explains as he lies down next to Joe again.
Joe lets out a soft 'ahwww' when he sees his flustered boyfriend. "That's so sweet. You didn't have to get me anything." He says.
Ben smiles. "But I wanted to. It's our first Christmas together." He says before crawling close to the ginger. "It isn't something big, but still." He mumbles as he hands Joe the present.
With a big smile, Joe takes the present. But before he opens it, he lets his lips collide with Ben's. “You big sap.” He teases, his voice thick with affection.
"Open it up." Ben says with a smile as he runs his hand through Joe's hair.
Joe nods, and starts to open his present. "Oh my god... Ben, this is so cute!" The ginger says in awe when a small teddy bear appears. “Hi little guy!”
Ben can't help but be a bit relieved by his boyfriend's reaction. "You said you lost your hospital bear, and you looked pretty sad about it. So I wanted you to have a new one." He says, hoping to explain this, what he thinks, low key present.
"That's so thoughtful. I love it so much, thank you." Joe says before kissing the blond again.

Ben smiles, happy that Joe loves the gift. He opens his arms for the boy so they can cuddle as promised.
Joe doesn't hesitate, and immediately snuggles up against Ben's chest. "I missed you baby." He mumbles as he closes his eyes.
"How can you miss me? I'm literally always here. Our beds are next to each other." Ben giggles before pressing a kiss on the ginger's temple.
Joe intertwines their fingers. "I know. But I always feel so much safer when you're next to me in bed to cuddle. I always miss that." He says as he listens to Ben's heartbeat.
With a huge smile, Ben gently draws small circles on Joe's back. He looks at the boy with a look full of admiration. "I'm glad you feel safe." He whispers.
Joe opens his eyes, so he can look up at Ben. "Are you sure you still want to ask Lucy for help? You really don't have to if you don't want to." He asks as he takes the boy's hand in his own.
Ben gives the boy a reassuring smile. "Yes, I'm sure." He says.
Joe smiles. "Okay then." He mumbles. "I love you." He says, tapping the inside of Ben's hand with his finger three times, one for every word.
The blond gives him a questioning look. "Can I ask you something?"
Joe nods. "Of course." He yawns.
"Every now and then when you say I love you, you tap me three times with your finger. Is there a reason behind that?" Ben asks curiously.
Joe closes his eyes again. "I guess there is, actually. It's just that now, you know three taps means I love you. So when I can speak out loud or I'm just too tired to talk, I can still tell you I love you." He explains softly.
Ben smiles at that, but still he has some questions. "Why wouldn't you be able to speak out loud?" He asks suspiciously.
Joe shrugs. "I don't know. But I wouldn't rule it out." He mumbles.
"Well I love you too." Ben says with a smile, deciding not to ask any further.

***

Later that day, both boys are getting ready to tell Lucy about their little lie.
"How about I just press the button? I need some pain relief anyway." Joe says, looking at Ben. The latter has lied down in his own bed again.
Ben nods. "That should work." He says. "But how do I start? What should I say?" He asks nervously.
Joe thinks for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe just start with the fact that you're doing okay, and then explain why you pretended not to be okay." He suggests.
Ben lets out a shaky breath. "Okay then." He nods. "That should work."
Joe frowns when he sees how nervous his boyfriend is. "Are you still sure about this?" He asks softly, taking Ben's hand in his own.
The blond nods again.
"Okay then, I'll push the button." Joe says, reaching to the side of his bed to press the button.
It takes Lucy about four minutes to walk into the room with the same friendly smile as always. "Hi boys." She says. "I assume it's time for a new dose of pain relief?" She looks at Joe.
The boy nods. "Well yeah, also that. But we'd like to talk to you as well, actually." He says.
Lucy raises her eyebrow. "Okay?" She says. "In which order?" She asks, even though she already knows the answer.
Joe gives her a forced smile. "Pain relief first, please." He begs.
She giggles softly. "I'll go get you some pills then. Be right back." Lucy says before exiting again.
Joe immediately takes Ben's hand again, giving it three gentle squeezes.
"I love you too." Ben says without even thinking about it.
Joe grins. "Told you it works."
Ben rolls his eyes with a smile.

"There we go, that's one thing tackled." Lucy says once Joe has swallowed his painkillers. "Now what's about you guys wanting to talk to me?" She asks with a kind smile.
Ben takes a deep breath. "We hoped we could talk to you without you telling the doctor about this?" He asks her. "The doctor can't know of this." He adds to emphasise how important it is.
Lucy sits down at the foot of Ben's bed. "Well for now I'm gonna say you can. But if you're gonna ask something weird then I'm making no promises." She says with a stern look.
Joe smiles. "Don't worry." He reassures her.
Ben takes a deep breath. "It's just that... uhm... I have something to confess." He says, looking at Lucy with nervous eyes.
When the girl sees the desperate look in Ben's eyes, she nods. "Okay. What's going on?" She asks.
Ben looks down. "I- I am not recovering too slow." He says, avoiding Lucy's gaze. "I pretended to be still in pain because I don't want to be discharged." He mumbles embarrassed.
Lucy gives him a questioning look. "Can I ask why not?" She asks carefully, not wanting to push the blond boy into telling her.
Ben briefly looks at Joe.
The latter gives his boyfriend an encouraging nod.
"I don't have a house to live in, I'm not in school, I lost my father, and my mother is in a hospital. So going back to London isn't an option. But I can't stay in New York either, since I don't have a place to stay. I just wanna stay here with Joe. I'm scared to go and I just wanted to buy myself some time but-" Ben rattles in one go.
"Sweetie, relax. Take a deep breath for me, okay?" Lucy says, interrupting the boy.
Ben nods, doing as she says. "Sorry." He mumbles.
"Ben, I get why you lied. Still it's good you told me. I wanna help you to find a way that works." Lucy says reassuringly.
Joe sits up a little. "Can't you just let Ben stay here?" He asks.
Lucy sighs. "I'm sorry boys, but I'm afraid not." She says with a small frown. "There will come a point where you can't hide this anymore. At some point you will have to leave the hospital."
Ben swallows. "But then I won't be able to see Joe." He says softly.
Joe nods. "Yeah, because of that covid virus he can't come visit me." He says with a sad face.
Lucy thinks for a moment with a frown on her face. "Maybe there is a way you can still come visit Joe." She mumbles after a minute of thinking.
Joe looks up. "Well what is it?" He asks her full of hope.
"If Joe goes to the hospital therapist, we can get an exception for Ben on the quarantine rules." Lucy says.
Both boys raise their eyebrows.
"How?" Joe asks.
Lucy shows the boy a caring smile. "If the therapist agrees you need Ben for mental stability, he can come visit you despite all the covid rules." She explains. When her beeper goes off, she gets up. "Let me know what you wanna do. I get that therapy is quite a heavy step to take." She says before leaving the room.
Joe looks at Ben, taking a deep breath in.

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I need to make more time to proof read and upload stuff, I'm sorryyy

Xxx from me♡