Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 22

After talking for a while, Rami had to leave for work.
Which leaves Ben alone in their hospital room, waiting for his boyfriend to return. When he looks at his watch, Ben sees Joe will be in surgery for about 45 more minutes. To kill a bit of time, he decides to take a closer look at the stuff in the box Allen sent him.
Five minutes later he regrets this decision, because with all the memories of his dad littered over his bed, tears start to fall. Somehow it still doesn't feel real that his father is gone. A month ago his life was just as it should be. He and his parents were having a nice holiday, and everything was normal. School was going well, and he was getting good grades. They had a nice, cosy house, and were even thinking about getting a puppy.
And now, everything is different. His father passed away, his mum is at a whole other continent, and he himself is in a hospital with heart problems. The only good change is the fact that he met Joe. Although he really wishes that he and Joe would've met in a normal way instead of in the hospital.
Ben's thoughts are interrupted by the door opening. He quickly wipes away his tears, even though he knows it won't fix his puffy eyes.
"Hi sweetie." Lucy says as she enters the room.
The blond boy looks down, avoiding looking her in the eye. "H-hey." Ben mumbles with a soft sniffle.
Lucy walks over to him, and sits down at the foot of his bed. For a good minute, they sit there in silence.

Until Lucy breaks the silence. "You okay?" The young nurse asks in a soft, caring voice.
Ben nods. "Yeah. Just a bit overwhelmed by today, I guess." He mumbles. He finally looks up. "Do you know how Joe is doing?" He asks in a shaky voice.
Lucy smiles and nods. "I do. You have nothing to worry about. He's doing great. They did have to give him some extra anaesthesia, so it might take him a bit longer to wake up." She explains. Then her eye catches all the memorabilia spread out on Ben's bed. "What is all this?" She asks with a sweet smile.
Ben sighs, fighting back his tears when he looks at his dad's stuff again. "Just... stuff from home." He says softly.
"Is that one of the things that got you overwhelmed?" Lucy asks, seeing Ben struggle today.
The boy nods. "It's just not that easy... seeing things from your dead father." He whispers.
Lucy gives him a look of sympathy. "I get that. And it's okay to struggle, you know that right?" She asks. Because Lucy has been there since the moment Ben got brought into the ER, she has seen him hide his emotions many times by now.
Ben nods. "I do." He says, even though it doesn't sound very convincing.
Lucy smiles. "Things like this will get easier, trust me. It will always hurt, but after a while it will be a different kind of hurt." She says in a comforting tone.
Ben forces a small smile. "I hope so." He says.
"And about the slow recovery thing, don't worry about that, okay? I've seen many patients leave this hospital healthy and happy after a recovery that took a bit longer." Lucy says.
"Slow recovery?" Ben asks confused. But then he remembers again. "Oh r-right. Sorry, my mind is just a bit distracted."
Lucy chuckles softly. "Don't worry about it. Maybe your mind just needs a bit of rest?" She suggests.
Ben smiles. "I think that might help, yeah." He says. "Thank you."
Lucy giggles softly. "For what?" She asks.
Ben shrugs. "For putting my mind at ease, I guess." He says with a smile.
"No problem. That's what I'm for." Lucy says as she gets up. "And if resting doesn't work, you can always try crying it all out. Take that tip from a girl." She adds with a wink.
Ben chuckles softly. "Thanks." He says before she leaves the room.
And after taking another look at his father's stuff, Ben decides to follow Lucy's advice and give his mind some peace. He grabs his airpods, and puts on some music. He puts his phone aside, and closes his eyes.
A few more tears manage to escape his eyes before the boy slowly drifts into deep sleep.

[][][]

When Joe opens his eyes, he lets out a soft groan because of the amount of sudden light. After blinking a few times, he just stares at the ceiling. Somehow he feels like he's floating. That must be because of the anaesthesia. The ginger looks down at his chest, seeing he's wrapped up in all kinds of bandages. With a soft sigh, he closes his eyes again, still feeling drowsy.
But when he hears a soft cough coming from his side, he opens his eyes again. He turns his head, smiling when he sees Ben asleep in the bed next to his.
The boy is curled up under the duvet, and has a small teddy bear clasped in his arms.
The smile on Joe's face, however, disappears again when he notices the stains on Ben's cheeks, left by tears. "I hope you're okay baby." Joe whispers to the sleeping boy. For now he decides to just let Ben sleep, knowing the boy hasn't slept very well the past few nights. He closes his eyes again, waiting for the anaesthesia to wear off.
The peaceful silence in the room doesn't last very long though. About twenty minutes later the door of the room opens, and footsteps enter the room.
"Shh, we gotta be quiet John. The boys are both asleep." The voice of his mother whispers.
"Okay mom."
With a smile on his face, Joe opens his eyes. "I'm awake. I mean, I'm still high, but I'm awake." He mumbles, looking at his mom, stepdad and little brother.
"How are you feeling?" Will asks.
Joe lets out a soft giggle. "Weird." He mutters with a smile.
"Joey, look what I got you!" John says, handing Joe a single flower in excitement.
Joe smiles widely. "Thanks." He says with a giggle.
Joe's mom raises her eyebrow. "Where did you get that?" She asks her son.
"Our garden." John says innocently.
His mom is about to say something about picking flowers from their garden, when Ben suddenly lets out a soft groan.

Joe smiles widely, watching his boyfriend wake up.
When Ben notices everyone's looking at him, he suddenly becomes very self conscious of the fact that he's holding a teddy bear. "I- I uhm... I'm sorry." He stammers with red cheeks, letting go of the teddy bear.
Joe's mom gives him a reassuring smile. "Don't be silly darling. There's nothing to apologise for. Joe had one too, you know." She says to make the boy a bit more comfortable.
Joe nods in agreement. "It was my hospital bear. Took it to every hospital appointment. Too bad I lost it." He says with a frown. "How did you get yours?"
Ben sits up a little bit. "Allen sent it to me, along with some other stuff from my house. My dad gave it to me at my first rugby game." He says. "Joe wasn't here to hug, so I needed something else."
Before Joe can respond to that, John hops over to Ben's bed. "Maybe our teddy bears can become friends!" He exclaims, full of enthusiasm.
Ben smiles widely. "I'd really like that John." He says with a wink.
"I can give you a hug right now? For now I'm still on drugs so you won't hurt me." Joe offers.
Ben sighs. "Not an option. I'm not allowed to get out of bed." He mumbles as he looks away.
"Why not?" Joe asks, immediately worried when he sees the frown on Ben's face.
Ben shrugs. "Apparently I'm recovering too slowly. So to prevent any damages I have to stay in bed." He says.
Joe's eyes widen at that.
"I thought your surgery and stuff went amazingly well? How come you're recovering too slow now?" Joe's stepdad asks.
Ben shrugs. "No idea."
Then the little John crawls onto Ben's bed. "Maybe a hug can fix it? Hugs can do miracles, right Joey?"
Joe smiles at his little brother and nods.
"Okay Johnny, but be gentle." His mother says when John opens his arms to hug Ben.
John nods obediently before gently hugging Ben.
Ben smiles widely at the little boy. "Thanks John. Let's hope it'll work." He says softly.

_____________

The first chapter of 2024 guys! May it be a great year for everyone.

Much love from me xxx