A new destiny

Chapter 18 | Daenerys

"For me the one who should sit on the Iron Throne is Daenerys Targaryen. If you don't choose her, you should start looking for another one who is willing to become the new monarch of the Seven Kingdoms". Jon's last words before he left the council had shocked me tremendously; after having heard what Tyrion had told me about him, I expected Jon to accept the role Varys wanted him to fill. For this reason I was astonished like everyone else when Jon had refused to become the new monarch of Westeros. "Now what?" I wondered as I walked through the streets of King's Landing without a specific destination "Will Sansa and Varys accept me or will they find another candidate to oppose me?". If I wanted to be honest however, I was seriously starting to dislike the position as well: the sight of the Iron Throne when I had confronted Cercei Lannister along with Arya Stark, had made me scared about how the feeling the one sitting on it would have caused to who would watch him. "If I renounce the Iron Throne, what would be my purpose in life? I fought for becoming the new ruler of Westeros so renouncing to it would mean I sacrificed my soldiers for nothing". "Going somewhere?" a familiar voice interrupted my ruminations. I looked up and was face to face with none than Arya. "I needed some air" I answered with a small smile "The meeting has made me nervous". Arya gave me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry for the way....my sister treated you" she started "She...she spent the better part of her teenage years with Cercei who thought her to mistrust people". "I do not want her to support me after having known me for such a short time" I replied "But by now I thought she had realized I am not like my father, nor like Cercei". "She needs time" Arya admitted "She has always been someone who had difficulty in developing trusting feelings for the ones near her and having lived with Cercei only worsened things. However, I'm sure in time she will realize you are not like Cercei Lannister". "I appreciate the optimism Arya but...I'm afraid she will never realize this" I quietly said "She will never accept me, no matter what I do". "What...what are your intentions?" Arya shily asked "I mean....now that Cercei Lannister is dead, someone has to sit on the Iron Throne. What...are you going to do?". I sighed, not knowing how to answer to this question: once I knew the answer but now...I wasn't sure about anything. "I....I don't know to be honest" I finally admitted "There was a time when I considered becoming the new ruler of Westeros the dream of my life, what I wanted but now....I'm not sure this is my destiny. I mean....this is something which I wanted because my brother made me develop this wish but whenever I look in my heart....". I looked down unable to continue speaking. "Yes?" Arya encouraged me to continue "My heart tells me being the new ruler of the Seven Kingdoms doesn't give me happiness". "I see" Arya nodded in understanding "There is a great conflict in you: you feel you should sit on the Iron Throne you have a duty towards your family but your heart tells you this is not what truly makes you happy". "Exactly" I said vigorously, my eyes feeling with tears "I.....I don't know what to do to be honest". "Stop thinking like you have a duty towards your family" Arya immediately answered "Jon has never managed to choose what is best for him because he has an high sense of duty. Don't become like him or you will never be happy in your life". "Are you telling me I should turn my back on my family?" I asked in amazement "I'm not saying you have to forget your family" Arya replied "My father Ned Stark used to say family is the most important element to achieve happiness. What I'm telling you is to choose what you feel is best for you. If ruling on Westeros makes you, Daenerys Targaryen, happy than choose it but if you feel the Iron Throne is not your destiny than refuse it". Arya's last words made me really astonished, such was the wisdom behind them and I didn't know how to reply. "She is right" I realized "I need to choose something I feel is best for me without letting any sort of duty towards someone from my past influence me". "Thank you" I finally said, my voice trembling with emotion "these words...mean a lot to me". "You are welcome" Arya replied with a small smile "I trust you will make the right decision".

"Who could be at this hour?" I wondered as I slowly stood up from my bed, after having been waken up by someone knocking at my door. I slowly opened the door and was amazed to see Jon Snow standing there, nervousness printed on his face. "Your Grace may I....have a word with you?" he asked looking me with concern "Do you want me to come back tomorrow?" he offered having seen I was tired "I'm sorry for...". "No, no come in" I interrupted him with a smile and I opened my door to invite him. Jon silently entered in my room and I closed the door. "So" I said as I sat on my bed "What can I do for you Lord Snow?". "Please, don't calm me lord" Jon said, exasperation printed on his face "I'm not a lord and I....". Than don't call me "your grace"" I interrupted him vehemently "I'm tired of hearing you calling me "your grace". Call me Daenerys if you want me to call you with your name". Jon sighed, knowing I was right in pretending this. "I...." he started again, without looking me "I need your help". "About what?" I asked him, curiosity feeling me. "Sansa and Varys won't accept the fact I decided to renounce the throne in your favor". "I know" I quietly said "I'm certain they will try to convince the others in supporting you". "Exactly" Jon agreed immediately "I...I need you to give a speech to the others, a speech in which you tell them the improvements Westeros will experience if they choose you as the new ruler of the Sev....". "I don't want this" I interrupted him. "Excuse me?" Jon asked, astonishment printed on his face "You heard it" I replied "I don't want to become the new ruler of Westeros". "But...why?" Jon asked confusedly "I thought you were looking forward to ruling Westeros. Why this sudden change of heart?". "Jon ruling on the Seven Kingdom has never been a wish of mine" I explained "Since I was a child, my brother kept telling me it was our duty to take back what once belonged to the Targaryens. In time I learned to accept this and when my brother died, I understood I was the one who had to fulfill this destiny. However, deep in my heart I've always knew sitting on the Iron Throne wasn't the thing I, Daenerys Targaryen truly wanted". "I see" Jon said in understanding "Than what do you want if I can ask you this question?". "I....." I started, without looking him "Apart from my brother who was cruel towards me I never had a family" I confessed, tears on my eyes already "So I always wished to live peacefully with someone who I love and make a family with him in a common house". As soon as I pronounced these words, I felt like a weight had been removed from my heart and I felt light, very light. "I....I hope you will find someone who can give you this Daenerys" Jon finally said "If you feel this is what is best for you, than I suggest you to follow your heart". "And you?" I asked him, raising my gaze to him "What do you expect from life? What do you want?". "I.....I don't know to be honest" Jon answered "I....I spent several years in the Nights Watch and I accepted my destiny was to spend my life alone. I'm afraid having a family on my own is not something I can get in my life". "And do you accept this?" I persisted, my voice trembling with emotion "Are you willing to return to the Nights Watch?". "I don't have anything here" Jon replied without looking me "After the betrayal of my adoptive sister, I lost my family; my friends died so why I shouldn't return to the Nights Watch?". "You have something which can give you a different life, an happier one" I countered, leaning closely to him "It's up to you to decide if you want it or not". "What is it?" Jon asked, still unconvinced. "This is it" I thought, feeling my heart beating at an higher speed "It's now or never". "Me" I finally said and without wasting time, I pressed my lips on Jon's, my tongue forcing its way in his mouth. After a while, I finally broke the kiss and looked the king of my heart straight in his eyes in order to let him see what I had been feeling for him for several weeks by now. "I love you Jon Snow" I finally confessed, tears rolling on my eyes "I love you and I will always love you. I needed to tell you this even if you don't feel the same for me". Jon looked me in astonishment, unable to utter a single word. "You...you love me?" he asked me, his eyes feeling with tears "Even after what I told you about my vision? How? How can you....?". "That vision didn't happen" I interrupted him fiercely "It didn't happen because you chose to prevent it from coming true. I love you even more for what you did for me. You are the one I want to build a family with". Jon stared me, tears rolling on his cheeks and after what seemed an eternity he leaned close to me. "I don't understand how could such a marvelous woman like you fall in love with a common man like me" he said, his voice trembling "But if you want this Daenerys Targaryen, than I will gladly accept your offer of a life with you because I love you and only the gods know how much" and he kissed me in the same way I kissed him some seconds before. "Now I'm complete" I thought as I fiercely hugged the man I loved, my lips attached to his "Now I finally know what I truly want. Thank you Arya Stark for having made me realize Jon Snow is what I truly want, not the Iron Throne".