A new destiny

Chapter 7 | Jon

After some hours, we managed to make both Daenerys' children eat. The whether had proved to be a huge obstacle because the dragoons weren't used to live in cold environments. However, we needed to help them to tolerate the cold whether if we wanted to win the war. While we wondered in the forest, I couldn't help to notice how Daenerys had grown silent, talking to me only if it was necessary. "I can't let her die as I saw in my dream" I thought in anguish "If our love is destined to cause her death than I have no choice but to renounce it. I was part of the Night's Watch so it shouldn't be a problem to turn my back on love". These thoughts kept raging in my mind until we returned to Winterfell, our mission complete. As soon as we walked in the courtyard, I saw Sam waiting for me at the entrance. "I see you enjoyed the ride Jon" he commented with a chuckle. "I still have much to learn on this" I replied, smiling at the memory. "Were you looking for me Sam?" I asked. "Actually, yes" Sam answered, his face turning serious "Bran would like to talk with you about something serious". I closed my eyes, already knowing what both Bran and Sam wanted to tell me, hoping my dream was only a dream and Bran wanted to speak with me about other things. I opened my eyes again and turned to Daenerys who was walking away from us. "Daenerys" I called her, making her stop in her trucks "Can you come with me?". "Jon Bran wanted to speak with you alone" Sam said "It is something personal I'm afraid". "I can leave if you want" Daenerys said immediately. "No" I interjected "I feel what Bran wants to speak me about involves Daenerys as well so I want her to be present as well. I don't want to have too many things hidden from her". Daenerys gave me an appreciative look while Sam sighed. "Very well" he finally said "Follow me please". We entered in Winterfell and after a few minutes, we were in one of the castle's halls. Once there, we found Bran sitting at the fireplace, staring as always to the open air. "Bran" I said as both I and Daenerys took a sit. Bran snaps from his gaze and turns to me. "Jon" he acknowledges me; his gaze fall on Daenerys who was looking him with curiosity. "I see you decided to share your life with the Mother of Dragoons". "Bran I can ask Daenerys to leave if you want" Sam said, still unsure whether Daenerys' presence was a good thing or not. "No she can stay" Bran said "She as well has a right to know". "What do you want to speak us about?" I asked, trying to contain my patience. "The truth" Bran answered in an enigmatic voice. "About what?" I pressed "Just tell me so I can go to rest". Bran gives me a strange look which made me tremble. "I know who your mother is" he said. Silence fell after those words, during which, I grabbed the chair I was sitting on in sign of protection. "Your mother is my aunt: Lyanna Stark". "WHAATTTT???" I yelled, refusing to accept what Bran was telling me. "It's the truth Jon" Bran replied, watching me closely. "THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE" I retorted "FATHER WOULD NEVER COM...". "Jon please, let your brother finish" Daenerys interrupted me. "Your father is not Ned Stark" Bran started again. My breath started to cease when I heard these words, the truth downing on me even before Bran revealed my father's identity. "Rhaegal....my attachment to Daenerys...my wish to protect her....". My gaze fell on Daenerys who was watching me with a mixt of incredulity and surprise; it seemed like she too had already understood who my father was. "Your father is Rhaegar Targaryen" Bran's voice forced me to focus on reality. "NO" I mentally screamed "NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!". "NO, ITS NOT TRUE!" I yelled, standing up from my chair "BRAN WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME???". "Jon it's true" Sam said at this point "You are not a bastard as we have always thought". "STOP LYING!" I screamed backing away from the people in the hall. "HOW CAN THIS BE TRUE?" Daenerys yelled as well "MY BROTHER RHAEGAL WAS MERRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN!". "Your brother Rhaegar annulled his marriage to Elia" Sam explained without looking Daenerys. "That's correct" Bran said "He married my aunt Lyanna in a secret ceremony in Dorne". "So this means that...." Daenerys said watching me in horror, covering her mouth with a hand. "Yes" Sam agreed "Jon is the heir, the true heir to the Iron Throne". "WHAT IF I DON'T WANT THAT FUCKING THRONE???" I shouted in anger. "It doesn't change anything" Bran said watching me without emotion. "You are still the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. In addiction, your name is not Jon. Its...Aegon Targaryen". Silence fell once more in the hall after Bran revealed my true name. "No,this is not true. It can't be true!" I mentally repeated, unable to accept the truth about my father. Even if the vision had already revealed me the truth, hearing it again was too difficult to accept. "Will I ever find someone to spend my life with? I wondered in anguish "Why whenever I fell in love with a girl, something prevents me from being happy with her???". "I'm sorry....I...need to be alone" I said and without wasting time, I walked away. "Jon please..." Daenerys' voice begged me from behind but the pain I was feeling in that moment was too strong to let me stay there so I ran away from the hall as fast as I could. "Happiness. Will I ever know the meaning of this word?" I asked myself as my feet brought me to Winterfell's crypt without me noticing "Why I can't be a normal human being who lives a common life with the people he loves?". I stopped in my tracks when I reached the statue of the man I thought he was my true father, the man who chose to keep all of this a secret. "WHY DID YOU LIE?" I shouted in anger, hitting the statue with my bare hands "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS THE SON OF A TARGARYEN???. DID YOU REALIZE HOW PAINFUL IT WAS FOR ME TO BE CONSIDERED A BASTARD BY EVERYONE???". I kept hitting the statue of my adoptive father in anger until tiredness filled me and I fell at the statue's feet, crying like I used to do when I was a boy. "I cannn't havvve Dddaenerrysss" I sobbed "I will bbbe connndemmneddd to seeee hhhherrr mmmmarrrryinnnnggg annnnothhherrr mannnnn". Time passed as I lied under the statue of my adoptive father but I didn't care about that. I felt alone since I knew no one could help me in dealing with this horrible truth; it was my burden and I couldn't ask anyone to help carrying it. "Once I'll have fulfilled my oath to Daenerys Targaryen, I will return to the Night Watch" I thought "That order is the only place I can still consider to be my home. If being a member of the Night Watch is my destiny, I will accept it. I hope Daenerys will find someone who can love her; she may not be able to have children but at least she will be happy once she gets the Iron Throne".