God's Country

Part Twenty-Two

'The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.'

Bill Maher

"Okay...it is just six minutes past eight o'clock on a brisk October morning in London, the first frost of winter in fact, and it is time to turn our attention to the growing burden of our crippling benefit culture," Damian Baxter told the listeners to BBC Radio Four's flagship current affairs breakfast programme, Today. Charles Buckingham sat quietly opposite him in a huge set of headphones, breathing slowly and deeply as he waited nervously to be called on to speak to the nation, or at least the million or so who considered Today unmissable, who happened to include just about everyone in and around the infamous Westminster bubble. He was there thanks to dumb luck really. He was on quite friendly terms with a young researcher at the BBC, having given her a couple of juicy titbits during his short stint at the Treasury as a Junior Minister under David Cameron, and he bumped into her at a party he did not even want to be at after attending another meeting in London. She was looking to flesh out a studio debate on unemployment and benefits with some contrasting opinions and he gave her a little flavour of what he was thinking on the subject. Eleven hours later he found himself sitting in front of Baxter with the opportunity to launch his new party in the most spectacular style. It was too good a chance to miss. In conjunction with his good friend Peter Munroe he had been through their truncated manifesto from every direction and he had interviewed enough faces to give the party some substance, as he did not want to look like a one-man band, but the time for introspection was over. The latest benefit figures were dire, as always, and the Christian Democrats had something very new to say on the subject, so it was time to go public. So he was trying to keep calm, thinking through what he wanted to say, feeling rather glad that he was the only participant who had made it into the studio. The others would be in radio cars somewhere he guessed, and it was an impressive cast, so Buckingham knew he would have to be on the top of his game. Munroe had called it a rather nice soft launch, but the butterflies in Charles Buckingham's stomach suggested otherwise. "We have some interesting guests to discuss another big increase in unemployment, which means even more pressure on the welfare budget in the future. "Philip Henderson MP, Conservative party leader and obviously leader of the opposition, what have you got to say about the latest numbers? It all rather happened on your watch, wouldn't you say?"

"Obviously this is really terrible news Damian, and yes we were in power until May, but the simple fact is that my predecessor, faced with a disappearing majority, could not get the support of the House of Commons to start solving the problems." Henderson's voice filled his head, and Buckingham almost flinched at the sound of the man who had driven him out of the Tory Party. But he was more interested that both Baxter and Henderson had immediately looked backwards, trying to apportion blame, or wriggle free of it. In his opinion, British politics had got stuck in a rut every bit as serious as the economic one. Both major sides blamed each other and never accepted any responsibility for their own obvious mistakes, and then conspicuously failed to come up with any new answers. There was a general hopeless stagnation pervading Westminster and it was something Buckingham longed to change. He intended to be very different, right from the start. "And since May Brian Strickland has not done a thing to help the business community...so they really are struggling. The inevitable consequence of those struggles is redundancies and as a result of that the welfare state is going to cost us all a lot more."

"So...Justin Mather MP...government spokesman for the day and Junior Minister at the Department of Work and Pensions, you've done nothing to help so far, what do you intend to do about these figures?" Baxter asked, winking at Charles. Buckingham had Baxter on his side if no one else. Over a quick cover during the news break, he had given Baxter a hint of what he wanted to say and the journalist was looking forward to a bit of a scoop. Buckingham knew how journalists worked, and Baxter would give him a bit more time if he knew that the resulting publicity would raise his own profile.