God's Country

Part Nine

'The Bible has no doubt had much influence in its time, but it provides very few laughs. None, in fact.'

Arthur Smith

"It's Henderson's game now it seems...all the other contenders have left the stage. Johnson is slinking off to the backbenches to spare himself the embarrassment of working for a bitter enemy and he will give up his seat at the next election...and so will George Osborne." Gavin Williams told his eager young acolyte before downing the rest of yet another brandy. He had it all from the horse's mouth, as usual, of course. If a secret was mentioned in a bar within five miles of Westminster, Williams knew all about it long before anyone else. Not from a publishable source but lobby correspondents and political sketch writers knew about most things from the first whispers in corners. Williams had a problem with alcohol, a problem that was often discussed in the same bars he frequented, but he could write drunk or sober. So Brogan Hardcastle admired him for that, if for little else. Learning the ways of Westminster at his side was a mind-broadening experience. He knew all of the shortcuts, all of the dirty tricks. He knew who would give him a straight answer and he who would lie, and probably why they would lie. Brogan was a wet-behind-the-ears beginner, a freelancer just trying to make a name for herself by taking a low paid internship, and she was drinking in his advice and wisdom, as well as much more neat alcohol than she was accustomed too. It was mostly a strange and often hilariously incoherent mixture of bitterness and bile, about brilliant stories spiked to suit newspaper owners and scandals he was not allowed to expose, but there were also irregular nuggets she found invaluable. However most of those were usually aired in the mornings, before the booze started to dull the senses.

"So what does that actually mean? It's Henderson's game now?" Brogan asked, sipping at a truly appalling glass of white wine.

"Obviously the end of the Cameron era...Boris is fifty five and even Gorgeous George is forty eight. Henderson is older than Boris but he will do his five years in opposition and then fight the next election, so even if he loses Boris would be in his sixties...so his chance really is gone. Osborne thought he would be the natural successor but he is linked with endless years of austerity budgets, whether that is fair or not." Williams explained, waving another note at the barman, seeking a refill. "Osborne will make a fortune in the city and Boris will head back into the media and do his TV panel games. They both know that Henderson is going to build the party is his own image, promoting his own allies, and there is no place for Cameron's men...so it will be New Tories with lots of new faces. And we will need to watch all the people who supported Boris and George because Henderson will cull them and they will all be bitter little bastards with axes to grind, all desperate to stick in the knife given half a chance. They are the ones who will tell us all the juicy gossip from now on...because they are finished anyway. Henderson may sometimes forget but he never ever forgives. None of them will be in any cabinet he leads, shadow or otherwise."

"Still...it's five years till the next election...that's a long time in politics."

They are the ones who will tell us all the juicy gossip from now on. Because they are finished...Henderson may sometimes forget, but he never ever forgives. None of them will ever be in any government he leads."

"Still...there are five years till the next election...that's a long time in politics."

"Never parrot that stupid fucking cliché," Williams snarled, suddenly vehement, telling Brogan that she had touched a nerve. "This the twenty-first century...if a politician out of office is not trending on Twitter or appearing on bloody Question Time or making a fucking documentary about trains or canals, they are dead. Five years is fucking forever. But it won't be five years sweetie...any fucking idiot can see that. You get this one in and I'll tell you why Brian Strickland, little Neil Hooks and Nicola Iron Draws Sturgeon will break up long before then. It's all going to end in some very bitter tears...hopefully."