Covered By Her Scars

35

Coal

But I'm not afraid of death. The only thing I'm afraid of is never seeing her again.

Never listening to the melody of her laugh again. Never smelling her silky hair again. Never kissing the tip of her nose again. Never holding her hand again. Never watching her apply her tinted pink lip gloss again. Never listening to her hum the lyrics to her favorite song. Never hugging her again. Never making brownies with her again. Never dancing with her again. Never making hearts with her hand again. Never seeing her smile when she sees me again. Never running my fingers down her body again. 

I'm afraid of never feeling her touch again. 

But I'm not afraid to never see her cry again. I'm not afraid of never seeing her beat herself up over the little things, or never seeing her get insecure again. I'm not afraid of never seeing her shake when she get's nervous, or never seeing her wince in pain every step she takes. 

I notice. I notice it all. 

No matter how much I try to figure her out, she puts up a wall that I might not be able to get over without permission. 

She has to let me in. 

*

We have our last game before the championship tomorrow. I don't know how everything will play out since Marco and Will aren't talking to me. I could care less what they think. 

Their the ones in over their heads, it's not a big deal. 

I'm not spending my precious time begging for forgiveness. I don't beg. Unless it's for Sofia. 

When I enter the locker room, everybody looks at me. Why does everybody feel the need to stare.

Nobody has a right to be mad about this. 

"What the fuck are you all looking at?" I say as I pass by them. 

I'm suddenly stopped when a hand is placed on my chest. 

Don't touch me, or I will kill you. 

I grab his wrist and fling it back into his face. 

He rubs his nose, where his hand hit. I have no clue who this kid is but he has some nerve coming up to me. 

"May I help you?" I ask angrily. 

"Your dating Sofia huh?" He cocks an eyebrow. 

Don't put her name in your fucking mouth. 

"Is that a problem for you?" I step forward, making him flinch. I grin, "Let me help you, the answer is no." 

"Man chill out, I was just gonna say your one lucky dude...." He scratches the back of his neck. 

I decide to not pummel him right before practice, "I fucking know." 

I go to my locker and start putting my stuff away when I feel someone's presence behind me. 

I turn around, about to push the kid away for being so close, but when I see who it is, I don't. 

"Need something?" I raise an eyebrow. 

"No I- you know what, nevermind." Will says. 

Fuck. 

"No, tell me." I say, in a nicer tone this time. 

He takes a deep breathe before Marco comes up next to him. 

"Look, we were heated in the moment that you guys lied to us, but were chill now, and we want to have a good game tomorrow." Will says.