The Remedy | The Untamed

Chapter 8

"Let's have a child" Jiang Cheng said, while they were having dinner, making A-Sang choke on rice.

He gave him a surprised look as if he had just heard something completely scandalous.

"A-Cheng, for god's grace, what are you even talking about?"

The man smiled, "Just think about it. We could adopt or have some woman bear our child. though the thought of me or you sleeping with one isn't very thriving. Anyway, isn't it a great idea?"

"No. It is not."

Jiang Cheng's smile faded, "But why?"

Nie Huaisang put down his chopsticks and looked seriously at his partner. It's not that he wasn't thinking about their shared future, because he was, constantly. Yet, the thought of being a father never crossed his mind.

"Because I refuse to continue my bloodline and I don't believe I would be a good father."

Jiang Cheng sighed, taking his lover's hand in his. "Listen, my love. I know what you are thinking right now and with whole honesty I will say screw it. Don't let those things hold you down for longer than they should and I think they got a fair share of your life. Big enough, too big even."

"It's not that simple. You already had your practice, you were an amazing parent for Jin Ling, just look how fine of a man he has become. I.. I am in no way a parent material."

Jian Cheng chuckled, making A-Sang frown at him.

"I don't think there is a single person fully prepared for parenthood, sweetheart. On many of those sleepless nights, when A-Ling was crying his eyes out, I cried too, because I felt hopeless, useless even. I wasn't able to make him stop fussing or brighten up his mood right away. It all came with time. I had a Sect to run, and with time I had to attend all my duties with a toddler on my hip because he refused to leave my side. Turns out I did something right, for him to get so attached to such a hopeless guardian as I have been at that time." He caressed Huaisang's cheek. "I know that you are also scared of the family curse, but believe me when I say we will overcome it and your lack of parental figure isn't a factor defining your possible parental cappasity. Just look at me. I am the greatest example of that."

"You are right, I am sorry."

"Don't be, sweetheart. We all have demons to fight with, but that's what we have each other for. So we won't have to do it by ourselves."

"I am also sorry for not being there for you all the way. I shouldn't get discouraged so easily. I should have fighted for us more." His eyes got a bit teary and he lowered his head. but Jiang Cheng quickly touched his chin and brought it back up, making Huaisang look him in the eyes.

"No, A-Sang. I am the only one to blame for that. After Wei Wuxian and Yanli's deaths I wasn't myself, you know that. I was a terrible person to be with at the time and I didn't want to suffocate you with how different I have become. I was affixed on finding a trace of the Yiling Patriarch, going after everyone who supported him and his way of acting. And there was also A-Ling. It was all too much to bear for me and I didn't want you to suffer by my side, having to look at all that.

"I suffered anyway. When I saw you occasionally my heart longed for you even more than when you were not around. That's actually one of the reasons my brother kind of disliked you. Even though we kept our relationship a secret he saw right through that facade. He was quite good at reading people, you know. That's actually the reason why you got hurt during your playful fight at one of the Sect Leader's meetings in Lanling." he chuckled.

"Is that so?" Jang Cheng asked curiously.
"Yes. Although we weren't the closest of siblings at that time he hated to see me in pain anyway. That's why he got his little revenge. It was incredibly childish of him, but I applauded him. Anyway, I would have prefered to be right beside you, because that's what I signed for when I gave you my heart, my love. But we have both made mistakes, after all I did the same after Da-ge's death. The fact that I had to step in and take full responsibility was too overwhelming. After all, I was able to lead an almost carefree life till that point thanks to my brother's care."

Jian Cheng stood up and rounded the small table, just to sit right beside Huaisang and hug him as if his life depended on it.

"My love for you never lessened. Through all those years I wasn't able to get close to someone else, not to mention any physical contact. You were always the only one for me." He kissed him in the temple.

"Same here."

"Soooo.. Are we going to get a child or..?" Jiang Cheng tried again with a smug expression on his face.

Nie Huaisang snorted and, turning to face him, hit him on the shoulder with the fan lying on the table.

"Ouch.. What was that for?" asked Jiang Cheng, surprised, massaging the place that he was hit on.

"You know what, you should be really ashamed of asking me such a question. I, in no means intend to have a child out of wedlock."

"Is that your way of proposing or telling me to propose, hmm?" A-Cheng grinned, getting closer to A-Sang. Their lips almost touching.

They looked each other deeply in the eyes.

"Take a wild guess, sweetheart."