Chapter 6

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Huaisang was standing in front of the hanshi, waiting for the young Lan disciple to come back. In his head, he was repeating everything he wanted to say. He wasn't nervous, but what he had to do wasn't the most enjoyable thing in the world.

The hanshi's door slided open and Lan Sizhui come out, bowing politely.

"Sect Leader Nie, Zewu-jun agreed to meet you. Please, go in." He gestured towards hanshi and Huaisang took one deep breath before entering.

He stepped in and the silence of the room almost made him choke. Well, maybe he was a little bit nervous after all. He bowed before Lan Xichen, "Zewu-jun".

The man looked at him with an emotionless expression, straightening his posture. With his hand, he gestured towards the other side of the table.

"Please, sit down, Sect Leader Nie."

Huaisang did it, but he was still staring at the other man, lightly biting his lip.

"What do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Nie Huaisang?"

"You don't have to be sarcastic with me, Zewu-jun. This visit will be very brief. I don't want to disturb your seclusion more than that." He coughed, clearing his throat.

"Go on then, tell me what you have to say."

"I really resent you, Lan Xichen," he said after a moment of silence. "I resent your blindfolded mind and your stupid heart for betraying my brother so soon after he disapeared. And I despise you for actually thinking that you have the right to be stuck in seclusion just because your heart was broken. You deserve it for being so blind to that monster's doings."

"Nie Huaisang."

"Although, I am also sorry. Despite all of that, I shouldn't have used your hands to kill him. Not after seeing how great of a damage the same act did to Jiang Cheng. However, I must admit that I don't regret it, because if I didn't make you do it he would find a way to persuade you and get away with everything. That's just how you are."

"I wouldn't. I am not unreasonable." Lan Xichen interrupted him.

Huaisang smiled sadly.

"Not usually, you are right, but with him you were always a fool. Even when he got married and you were still with my brother you weren't able to see the evil in him."

"He was just lost and people always misunderstood him," Zewu-jun whispered, looking down at his hands. All the spite in his voice was gone.

"No. He knew what he was doing and he planned it very well. But, to be honest, if he wouldn't have killed Mingjue I probably wouldn't have noticed it either. After all, I don't usually tend to mingle in other people's matters. Anyways, that's not the main reason why I am here." He said, putting on the small table a roll of parchment he had brought with him. "Da-ge wasn't a big fan of my procrastination, he didn't like the fact that I prefer to spend long hours in my room painting and reading more than on the training grounds. However, one time he asked me to paint something for him, something that he had described to me without missing a single detail."

He rolled out the parchment and Lan Xichen gasped.

There it was, the most beautiful painting that Zewu-jun has ever seen. The shades of blue, gray, green, pink, white and brown were composed together, into a painting of Lan Xichen sitting with crossed legs next to a blossom cherry tree, his back was straightened in a very Lan-ish posture but somehow seemed  relaxed. He was playing his xiao with his eyes closed. And there, on the other side of the tree was Nie Mingjue, sitting with one leg stretched out and the other bent in knee, his arms crossed behind his head. He was leaning against the cherry blossom tree with his eyes closed and a soft smile on his face.  Nie Huaisang is an amazing painter after all. He was able to recreate the feelings described to him with great precision.

The painting brought back to Lan Xichen all the memories of that day.

"I love you, A-Huan." 

His eyes became teary for a moment, but he managed to hold back the tears.

"You don't deserve to cry after him," he thought to himself. 

Huaisang cleared his throat, standing up.

"I don't think I should hold onto that, I already did it for far too many years. He wanted to give it to you as a birthday gift that year, but for obvious reasons he wasn't able to." He bit his bottom lip, wondering if he should say the next thing or not. He sighed. "Da-ge was going to propose to you with it."

With that said, he left the hanshi and went on a walk to cool his mind.

Gosh, how he misses his brother. Maybe they weren't the closest of siblings, but his Da-ge was the only family he had and if he didn't have Wanyin and Jin Ling by his side he would have been a lot more miserable right now.   

LIfe is very hard and brutal at times, but in Huaisang's opinion Zewu-jun should keep his shit together, after all he has a whole ass sect to run. Huaisang didn't give himself the privilege of leaving everything behind and focusing all his attention on his own well being.

He was too responsible for that and although Zewu-jun was also a very responsible man, he was also weak to some degree. Too weak to pull himself together and live on.

He knew he shouldn't compare, but he wasn't able not to do so. Seclusion is just a temporary solution to a lifetime long problem. All those sorrows and heartaches won't disappear and loosen just like that. It wasn't so simple.

In his opinion a man and a magnificent cultivator at that, should be able to keep a right composure at all times, especially if he is a Sect Leader, because then he is responsible for more than one life.

He felt sorry for him. Sorry and guilty for driving his hand to stab his sworn brother with his own sword. That's why he felt the need to apologize, but at the same time he felt oddly satisfied.

"That's the price for befriending the devil, Lan Xichen."

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