𝙱𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝙴𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎 || ✔

12(S)

__________

I can almost see it,

That dream I'm dreaming.

But, there's a voice inside my head saying,

You'll never reach it.

__________

Time to escape.

The past week has been a period of observation and planning. Somehow, I noticed every little thing Kayden did to keep me in check: making me take a bite from the breakfast I make for him, double-checking every window and door before he goes asleep, the way he wraps his arm around my waist when he tells me to sleep with him on his bed, how he thinks that sex and affection are rewards for my good behavior. He's smart. He knows how to play in the Stockholm Syndrome, but even if a voice deep inside me tells me to submit to him completely, the memories of Caroline keep me grounded.

Flashback:

"Okay, it's okay. He doesn't know what he's missing on, Si. I love you. I love you so much. You're gonna be fine. We are going to erase the trace of that motherfucker from every nook of your life, you are gonna know why he doesn't deserve you, honey,"  Caroline says and wraps her arms around me. The tears flowing down my cheeks wet her chemise but she strokes my head, "Let it all go, Sierra, it's gonna be fine."

I sob louder, clutching the fabric. She presses a kiss to my cheek and holds my shoulders, pulling me away, "Honestly, though? He was a jerk. I mean, what kind of a name is 'Bill'? Seriously, he was an asshole. You didn't even see he didn't treat you like the queen you are," she scoffs, throwing her hands. I laugh, and she shoots me a grin.

"H-His name was William, Care," I say, and she laughs.

"Yeah, 'Bill'", she repeats, getting up from the bed.

"Get your ass downstairs, I'll make pancakes."

A tear escapes my eye as I reminisce. My sister. She doesn't even know where I am. Despite her character defect of irresponsibility towards herself, she kept me above everything. I miss her.

I miss her so much.

As I walk down the stairs to make breakfast, the collar sits snug on my neck, and the Ativan bottle rattles in my pocket. I rub my neck painfully against the metal, causing a burning sensation. The pain was worth getting the collar off. Surely, he wouldn't mind taking it off if it hurt me.

After making the scrambled eggs and bacon for our breakfast, I crush 10 or so pills in my hand. 

Would a bite from a spiked breakfast knock me out?

Probably not. But, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

Today, after a week of gaining Kayden's trust and love by following his rules and keeping up with his libido, I am ready to escape. I am ready to go back to my sister.  But there's a voice in my head: a loud, screeching voice. It is telling me to stay. To serve him. He takes care of me. He hasn't punished me in weeks, except the times I was in the wrong. He likes me. There's nothing wrong with staying with Kayden.

"He kidnapped you," a weak voice in my head echoes, and I nod. 

Escaping is the right thing to do.

I mix the powdered pills in the scrambled eggs, the white disappearing like snow on the hot ground. My heart pounds painfully in my chest as tears escape my eyes. I'll hurt Kayden doing this, but I need to. I need to go away from him.