Post Heist

The talk

Part 3

You keep looking down but say okay, agreeing to talk to her.

At this point Tammy is upstairs with Debbie and nine so she is oblivious. Lous brain is so full of her thoughts from the night that she just blurts it out.

Lou - "Okay look I didn't mean for it to happen and to make you feel uncomfortable y/n I really didn't. I'm sorry if I did and-"

She's speaking so fast you start to get concerned and grab her arm to stop her.

You look up at her.

Y/n - "it's okay Lou it wasn't your fault, honest."

She still looks worried.

Y/n - "Really, it's okay. I was just confused and had to leave to think."

But this makes Lou even more confused.

Lou - "Why did you need to think?"

You look down in silence. You're still holding Lous hand and she squeezes it which reassures you to carry one.

Y/n - " i was just like... confused on how i felt and didn't want to jump into something i was unsure of and give the wrong idea you know?"

Lou nods but is confused still.
You sit in silence for what seems like a lifetime still holding Lous hand while she strokes the top of your hand with her thumb.

Then she says something.

Lou - "Look, i don't know if you want to carry on talking but I really want to know why you would be confused. To me, you described me as your crush anyways so what is a kiss or two?"

You shake your head.
Y/n - "You wouldn't get it..."

You let go of her hand getting up and run outside.

Lou follows you out there and you're sat on the bench holding onto you knees in a ball.
You're shaking and breathing fast and once she notices she runs over and puts her arm over you. You're too out of breath to speak but you try and she tells you to stop trying and just focus on breathing.

She keeps talking to you saying
Lou - "You're okay, I'm here, I've got you, don't worry hunny, I'm here, I've got you."

After a bit you calm down and get to a normal breathing pattern but your still shaking and you haven't spoken yet. You're just sat there with lou stroking your hair.

You string together what you want to say in your head and look up at Lou.
She notices instantly and looks at you.
You're tearing up but you try to pull yourself together and get out the words.

Y/n - "I'm scared."
She grabs you're face and wipes away your tears with her thumbs.

She looks you in the eyes and hugs you. You cry until you can't anymore and try to steady your voice and breath again. She's stroking your hair and your head is on her shoulder.

You take a deep breath and that's when you say it.

Y/n - "Look Lou, I've never felt this way before..."
She listens to every word you say. You carry on but you're so over what you're saying about your family already, as your hear it in your head all the time.

"I'm from a religious family and I've been taught from when I was young that feelings to anyone that isn't male is not good! and wrong! and I will go to hell..."

Just when she tries to speak you cut her off and say.

Y/n - "And like I KNOW that I'm older now and that I'm luckily not in that place anymore. I'm a lot more free and im aware of that of course.
I mean what we all did together with the necklace is definitely not a very Christian thing to do either..."
You smile and both chuckle for a second and then you take a big breath getting back to the serious talk.

Y/n - "But with this it's just different."
Lou is still looking at you listening.

Y/n - "I know that it's not a huge deal for me to be with someone that isn't a man... it's just hard for me to shake off the... internalised fear, you know? Knowing that they won't, but...trying to convince myself anyways... that my family will support me. Like to me it's just... it's just very hard..."

You start to tear up again but before you say anything else lou grabs you and hugs you stroking your hair and saying

Lou - "You're okay baby, you're okay.
Your feelings are 100% valid and I wouldn't want to make you feel any way that affected you negatively... So if you need some time to think then that's okay. I'm here if you need me anytime just let me know okay."

You nod your head and kiss her hand. You both just sit there in silence for a bit. Lou is kissing your head loads and running her hands through your hair. After a bit you pull yourself together and you both go back inside.

Your eyes are red still but you're smiling and trying to distract everyone away from them. Lous arms are around you and she leads you back inside. Everyone's thankfully oblivious to your eyes. However rose notices and takes you aside.

I hope you guys like the story still. I've got some good parts coming up and I hope you enjoy them all! <3 ☺️
K💞