When The Darkness Comes // Newt

Part thirty-one, "I'm sorry"

"Go that way," Alby orders. "Just follow the rope on your way back. If you find him, come tell me."

You nod tearfully and sprint down a narrow passage to your left. The note is still in your tightly closed fist. You don't even look where you're going, because you don't care. All you can think about is being there on time, and what you're going to do if you're standing face-to-face with your friend about to commit suicide.

How will he do it, anyways? Hang himself, strung up on the vines? Somehow find a Griever? Jump off the Cliff? Your stomach turns as you consider the possibilities. You pause, breathing hard, the wind having dried your tears.

This place looks familiar, maybe you passed it when running from the Griever. You look up and turn around slowly, surveying the walls until you find the spot where you and Newt clung onto the vines, waiting for the Griever to climb up and kill you. You stare up at the spot, remembering, and not for the first time, what a horrible, cruel place this is. How wicked the people who put you here must be.

You look down, but something catches your eye. You give a strained cry of relief, shock, something, and rush towards him.

Newt is laying limply at the bottom of the wall, a small pool of blood around his head. His leg looks like it's bent the wrong way, but that can be fixed if he's still breathing. You fall to your kneew beside him, shaking his shoulder.

"Newt?" your voice cracks. "Come on, Newt. Wake up."

He doesn't move. Something, an idea, sealed deep inside your brain, along with the other memories you lost, reveals itself. You pick up his arm with shaky fingers and feel his wrist. Sure enough, small thumps indicate that his heart is still beating.

He's alive.

You choke on a sob and lift him up a bit by his shoulders, then hug him. You know Alby said to go back if you found Newt, but Alby didn't expect him to be alive. Besides, you want to enjoy the moment, forgetting what he tried to do and only focusing on the fact that he's alive, he's alive, he's alive. You want to do something to express your happiness, something more than just hugging him.

So you kiss him.

And you don't know why. Of the few things you can remember about your life before the Maze, you recall that people don't usually kiss someone if they're not romantically interested. And you don't feel that way about Newt.

But it felt good. Relieving. It made you feel even happier.

Right after you break away, he opens his eyes as if on cue. You sob-laugh, the memory of an old fairy tale popping into your mind. Then you give a small gasp as you realize what you've done.

"I'm sorry," you murmur.

He doesn't answer for a whole minute, just stares at you with something like surprise on his face. You gulp and look around, as if searching for Alby, while really you want him to forget about that awfully embarrassing moment. Just before he loses consciousness again, he says two words that you will never forget, for more reasons than one.

"Don't be."