That morning, after breakfast, I felt sickened. Not because of the breakfast, Thomas' bacon was amazing as always, it was the self-hatred, anger, guilt, disappointment, mixed with orange juice. It was all eating at me, as I was half aware of the two bespectacled eyes strenuously regarding my every move. After a half hour of eating and conversing with a few fake smiles, Mr. Mason rose and with a strict expression said "Kit-Kat, get in the truck. I'll take you home." I froze in terror. No, I couldn't face him right now...I just couldn't face him. It was like facing my own father. I rose slowly mumbling, "That's really fine...I would really love to walk home. Fresh air is great." Darius nearly spit out his bagel from laughing so hard. I couldn't help but chuckle a little myself when I caught Darius' eye. Thomas hid his face in his napkin as if he thought he could hide his laughter. Even Mr. Mason had a faint smile on his face, being as mad as he was. They all knew I was lazy as hell and I wouldn't make it two blocks. One of Mr. Mason's eyebrow quirked up as he retorted, "You can roll down the window." With that he grabbed the keys and started towards the door. I opened my mouth, beginning to form a reply, when I was cut off by a calm voice that I knew so well. "Dad," it flowed through the air like a warm wind out of season. "She can take my bike, no big deal." Mr. Mason looked at Darius with a puzzled expression. "Really? You're gunna give her your bike? It's a long and hard bike ride back.." he trailed off. Thomas cut in, "She can do it Dad, I know she can." He winked at me and I threw the first genuine smile I had ever smiled towards him his way. Mr. Mason stood in the open doorway, pausing to think as he searched my face. I put on my puppy dog face, and he breathed a laugh as he finally sighed and out down his keys. "Darius," he said in defeat, "Get the goddamn bike."
Thomas kissed me on the cheek as he ascended up the stairs, saying he had to take a shower before basketball practice, and I grinned as Mr. Mason retreated behind him, leaving just me and my Darius. As soon as the footsteps were silenced, Darius peered at me with a ear to ear smile. He picked me up into his arms, and carried me like a princess, with me holding in a laugh the entire way. When we reached the garage, we were finally able to talk aloud because it was soundproofed. I remember when Mr. Mason had it soundproofed for his wife's birthday so that her band could practice in it, but she never saw it because she left them before he could unveil it. Another memory had was sour in my head. Darius pointed to a bike slouched on the side wall, "There it is." I started for it when he grabbed my hand and said, "Not so fast there," with a wink. I chuckled, "Is that right?" I mimicked a goofy character from our favorite cartoon when we were kids, where the main character always said that phrase in the absolute dumbest way. He laughed and pulled me closer in his arms. "Yes, that is right." He replied, searching my face with his eyes, I couldn't take for him to see the guilt and anger in my eyes, so I leaned in and kissed him. I distracted myself with him, as it seemed to work. I think I could get used to this. After a significant amount of us being in each other's arms, I pulled away. "Hey, how about that bike?" He chuckled, "You think I can't see it in your eyes Kathy," Between grunts from moving the bike, he finished his sentence. "But trust me, I see it all." He cupped my face in his hands and I averted his gaze until finally I had no where to look but those deep brown eyes. When my eyes finally met his, he smiled and released the gaze with a peck on my forehead. He helped me climb onto the bike and showed me where the brakes were, and then he helped me ride out of the driveway and set me off to ride along the streets.
I biked as hard as I could, feeling that if I pedaled fast enough, the guilt would fly away with the wind that whipped my face as I flew down the path I was told to follow, surrounded by trees with the bright morning sunlight peeking through their leaves. I felt free for once..why didn't I bike more? Oh yeah, because I am utterly out of shape. After many blocks, I began to get really tired so I slowed down. My legs ached from circling so fast and so hard, all the power I had pushed myself through made me feel freer. Yet as I slowed, the guilt came rushing back. I knew that even if I started pedaling faster again, the guilt would eventually come back...it was always going to be there and I had to learn to live with it. So I slowed down, letting the guilt sink in, the anger rush back, the sadness of everything flew into my brain, throwing memories at me. First I caught a glimpse of Mr. Mason's face lecturing me about his boys, then was Thomas' happy face, the lies I told him, and of course, the memory that haunts me everyday of my life, my father's death.I don’t know why my father's memory sprang into my head all of a sudden; I mean, it was always there, but at some times it because more prominent. But right now I saw it all replay in my head, how they buried him a man of courage and good, which he certainly was. My father was the most kind-hearted man I have ever had the pleasure to know. When I was little, he used to call me "Super-girl" because I called him "Superman" because he truly was a hero. My tears blurred my vision so badly that I could barely see what was in front of me. I closed my eyes, trying to make the tears and the pain vanish, when I biked right into a tree.
