Beep. Beep. Beep.
I heard the faint sounds pierce the still air around me. The thought ran through my head again: I wish I could have slept forever. The stillness and peace that it brings presents itself as a heaven that you can't seem to put your finger on. Even though when you wake up, you can't remember how long you've been thinking or what you were thinking about when you were sleeping, it still seemed like the forgotten state of total relaxation was a small luxury most people took for granted. But as I have said, you always have to wake up, it's just part of life.
I remember waking up slowly, my eyelids were heavy and tired and I felt weak and useless. When my eyes finally won the struggle against my drowsiness, it took them a few minutes to adjust to the pale light that engulfed me. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The sounds continued in their rhythmic monotone as I took in my surroundings. A thin, cold, paper hospital dress wrapped around me loosely, as cool air breathed at me from above. I glanced from side to side at the people surrounding me. I saw Mr. Mason, head in his hands, tapping his foot, his face toward the floor. His body language displayed the utter picture of a guilty man. I grew happy at this; I was so angry at him that I hoped he felt more terrible than I did in that cold, uncomfortable bed with odd smelling sheets at my feet. My eyes slowly turned towards my mother, who was staring ahead in a trance-like state, tears gathering in her eyes. I hoped she was feeling bad too, for being a shadow instead of a real mother; the one I always needed. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as well, so I quickly shifted my eyes to the other side of the room. My head felt dizzy from moving my eyes too fast and my eyesight was blurred, but not blurred enough, because I could still make out the familiar, fuzzy figure that sat, hunched over in his chair, staring at me with glossy eyes. "O-Ollie" I mumbled. Ollie jumped out of his chair, startled. I saw Mr. Mason's head jerk up and when he saw me, he put his hands together and began to pray. My mother bursted out into tears, but still sat looking straight ahead at the wall in front of her. Ollie caught sight of my face and began to laugh. "Kat!" he exclaimed, rushing to my side. "How do I look?" I managed to stumble out. He chuckled and said, "Quite frankly, like shit." I smiled at him, happy to have him with me. Happy..he makes me happy...That's when I remembered Darius. If Mr. Mason was here, was Darius? Thomas? I slowly rose to sit up, when I felt a sharp pain in my head. and collapsed back onto my pillow. Ollie gently lifted my head and propped it up with extra pillows, so I could finally see the hospital room entirely. My head spun and everything went black for a moment, but then my eyesight kicked in and everything came flooding back. The dreary room was a grayish color, there was a dim light hanging over head, a simple doorway straight in front of me, and chairs had been pulled to either side of the room. That's when Mr. Mason rose from his chair and started towards me. I didn't want to look at him. Ever. I closed my eyes and reached for Ollie who grabbed hold of my hand. I squeezed it as hard as I could until I had used all my strength and my hand just lay in his, limp like a dead flower. My eyes were still closed, but I could hear Mr. Mason right next to me. "Oliver," his deep voice boomed. "Would you mind getting the nurse? Or showing Mrs. Phillips the cafeteria?" Ollie squeezed my hand gently and walked off, and I heard him escorting my weeping mother farther and farther away from the room until her sobbing could be heard no more. Then, it was complete silence. Just utter, unbearable silence. I could hear him breathing next to me, but I would not acknowledge his existence. My eyes stayed squeezed tightly shut as I heard his breathing become more and more shallow, until finally I heard him begin to cry. At this, my eyes loosened and started to flutter open. Yes, I was mad at Mr. Mason, but I didn't want to hear him cry. No more tears had to be shed around me. I softly grabbed his hand and he held on tight whispering through his sobs "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.." He repeated the sad phrase over and over again until I finally replied, "It's okay James," I sighed. I didn't forgive him totally, but I knew I couldn't hold onto a grudge forever. We sat there for what seemed like forever, but I didn't really mind. liked the comfort of feeling as if my dad were with me, holding my hand. It didn't last forever though, because soon enough, the nurse came trudging through the door. Behind her came Oliver and my mother...and no Darius. I tried to console myself in the thought that maybe Mr. Mason hadn't called home about the accident. As I started to trick myself that must be the case, I saw a big bouquet of flowers entering the doorway. Holding them was none other but a red-faced and worried looking Thomas, rushing through the door to see...well, me. My hopes went crashing through the floor. Darius must know, so where is he? Thomas half threw-half placed the roses on the small table next to me and then bolted to my side. He kissed my forehead and pushed hair back from behind my face. I felt so weak and disappointed that I couldn't manage to muster up my fake love right then. Mr. Mason's grip on my hand loosened, but then tightened almost as if he was debating whether or not to be upset that I still hadn't made the decision. My head spun as I drifted back to sleep, and this time, I never wanted to wake up.
