I've realized that every good memory, no matter how hard it made you laugh, or how excited you were, or how "in love" you felt, it eventually fades and gets tossed into the 'bad memories' pile. Haven't you ever noticed that one day, something shifts the wrong way and changes are made, and you're not so close as you were to someone as you were before, and that's just the way it is? Accepting it isn't the hard part, it's those memories you have left over. Loads of memories, overfilling and swishing around in your head as they all pick at you, calling attention to themselves until you are forced to remember them. That's when everything comes rushing back. The simple effects of the day; the temperature, your outfit, how you styled your hair, how close he was, how you didn't push away...but then again, that's just one of my memories.
I was innocently sitting on the couch. That's all, finishing some math homework. When I stared out the window and saw it the impact of it wasn't hard at first, but when I put 2 and 2 together, I felt as if I had just been punched in the heart. Funny how a simple yellow school bus caused my heart to stop still in my chest. Seeing a bus out of a window would most likely be normal to anyone else, but to me, it was another memory that had "went over to the dark side." It all came running at me, like a crashing wave. I was sitting in that back seat of the bus, hair tucked to the side, blushing lightly as I heard kids chanting all around me, "Do it Darius!" "Come on!" I felt my heart beating faster in my chest, just as it had on that leather seat. The sunlight fell on my legs as I stared at my feet, excited and nervous. Darius' face turned towards me, his white smile intriguing me to come closer, closer, closer. So I did. Our lips met, and we quickly pulled away, cheeks red and faces flustered. Cheers exploded all around me and I wore a smile lined with braces from ear to ear. I snapped out of it and was met with the dim lighting of my living room with a frown on my lips and anger in my chest. My head spun as I tried so hard to forget about what I had just remembered, but it can't be done..as most of you probably know.
My first kiss should have brought joy to my mind, but instead it brought pure hatred. Darius used to be my boyfriend in late seventh grade, but he broke up with me on my birthday, with me crumbling to my knees in tears. The worst part is, I face him every single day. My heart still pains every time I see his white smile, still inviting as ever. I want to hate him, every single part wants me to hate him, except my heart. I love him. I know, I know I'm stupid; but I can't help it. The only hard part? I have a boyfriend; in fact, because I have the best luck in the world, I'm dating his brother. And why? Revenge.
