Aurelio's Dilemma

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE:

After finishing practice, Aurelio sat cross-legged on the floor by the window, carefully setting his violin in its case, enjoying the gentle sunlight after a gloomy morning.

"You keep getting better and better."

Aurelio glanced at the door; his mom had inched it open and was looking inside. "Thanks," he said. Truthfully, today the melody had sounded a lot nicer. Smoother. Perhaps he'd tuned the violin better. Perhaps he'd actually improved at this. He hoped it was the second option, but he doubted it.

"Did you have fun? With your friends."

See, these tentative questions posed in this tentative voice had never been part of the routine before. Before-as in, before his phobia had gotten worse, before he'd had to see a therapist. Ever since then his mom had become more careful around him, each word calculated, every interaction pre-planned. And he knew she meant well, but he couldn't help feeling alienated sometimes.

Aurelio nodded. "Yeah." He looked at his lap, then at her, and he heard the words she didn't say. "I didn't feel sick," he said. "Don't worry."

His mom smiled. "That's great." Silence, then: "Don't forget about therapy tomorrow morning, okay?"

"I won't."

She nodded and left. Shoulders slumping, Aurelio sighed. Then he got up and lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, one arm along his stomach and the other above his head. Therapy. Another session, another hour spent digging into the same subject, pouring every effort to unravel it, only to come to no result. Maybe the therapist's not that good, his mom had told him when he hadn't made any improvement after two months. And now here he was, going to another therapist, this time a well renowned one, and he still was stuck in the same plateau.

Just thinking about this made the headache worse. It hadn't left since the panic attack this morning. So Aurelio did what he did best: ignored it. He grabbed his phone and scrolled through social media aimlessly for hours, perhaps, maybe more or less-he lost track of time at some point. He'd maintained a neutral expression throughout it all, except when he passed by a picture of Leslie and her boyfriend. That was when a sour frown appeared on his face. He skipped it fast.

And then Blair messaged him: open the door for me babe.

Aurelio had two reactions to the text: 1) frowning because he hadn't expected her to be here and 2) cringing at babe. The word never sat right with him.

Still, he clambered off his bed and peeked down at the driveway through his window, then he headed to the front door and opened it. Blair was standing there, beaming as always, energy radiating off her. "Hi!"

"Hey," Aurelio said. "What're you doing here?"

Blair tilted her head, giving him a playful smile. "I can leave if you want."

"God, no." Aurelio stepped aside and gestured her in. "That's not what I meant. Just wasn't expecting you."

"But I told you I'm gonna get my nails done then come over." Blair showed him her hands, her nails elaborately painted. She also had about as many silver rings as she had ear piercings-which was a lot. "What do you think? Do you like them?"

"Yeah, I like them."

Holding his hand, Blair led him upstairs to his room. She plopped on his bed, crossing her legs, patting the space beside her. Aurelio lay down next to her, although for some reason his chest tightened. Outside, the sun had receded halfway behind the horizon. Which meant his dad should be coming home soon.

At first, it was comfortable: they just sat there, scrolling through their phones again, screen-light flashing against their faces. Occasionally Blair showed him pics of girls he didn't know and asked him if he thought they were prettier than her. He told her he'd never compare. It wasn't the answer she wanted, but it was an answer she still liked.

At some point Blair placed her phone on the nightstand, then turned onto her side, scooting closer to Aurelio. She linked a leg around his and draped an arm along his chest and snuggled into his shoulder. For a moment, Aurelio froze, unable to reciprocate. But Blair caught his arm and gently made him roll over so they were face-to-face on their sides. With a hand on the back of his head, she nudged him closer until his face was tucked in her neck.

One word: uncomfortable.

But not in a disgusted, I-didn't-give-you-permission way. Just in a slightly startled, do-we-always-do-this? way. Blair was so affectionate, and it was too much for him sometimes. Like right now. Still he didn't have the heart to let her down, so he just went along, trying to melt into her embrace, to relax.

And he did. For, like, two minutes. Until Blair slipped a hand under his shirt, dragging her nails along his back. That was when Aurelio flinched and sat up.

"No," he said. "Don't do that."

Blair didn't insist. She removed her hand, wearing a confused expression. "Why? You love back scratches."

"No, not at all."

"...That's a change? 'Cause we used to do this all the time and you'd never get enough."

"No way." Aurelio laughed. Because he knew himself, and he knew this couldn't be true about him. "I've always hated it. Matt likes it, not me."

Blair raised a brow. "And how do you know that, sir?" She tapped Aurelio's nose, smiling. "You cheating on me with Matt?"

Aurelio let out an airy chuckle. "He's my childhood best friend. I know him really well," he said. "Plus, I used to third wheel him and his girlfriend a lot, and it got awkward real fast."

"Matt has a girlfriend?"

"Had. They broke up."

"Huh. Didn't know that." Blair's expression became a little distant, and she pinched her lower lip with her thumb and index. "Do I know her?"

Aurelio shrugged. "Don't think so."

Blair nodded slowly. "Anyway," she said, flicking her wrist as if to discard the topic,"speaking of Matt. The little shit dared me to show him my skateboarding skills, so tomorrow we're going to the rink."

Aurelio opened his mouth, then he remembered therapy. "What time?"

"Morning. Around eleven." She narrowed her eyes. "You better come."

"I'll be there."

"Cool." Blair pointed at Aurelio's laptop. "Netflix and chill?"

Aurelio nodded. "Netflix and chill."

It ended up being Netflix and panic internally.

For Aurelio, at least. He couldn't take his eyes off the clock, couldn't stop glancing at the window, hoping to catch the edge of his dad's car as it'd swerve into the driveway. He was late. Aurelio knew it was most likely traffic, or maybe some extra work. His dad couldn't have possibly gotten into a car crash. Two accidents happening in a row was improbable. So this was just a little bit of paranoia, and it'd fade in a few days. Surely it wouldn't get worse.

Right?

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a/n: thanks for reading/voting/commenting!❤️