Aurelio's Dilemma

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE:

Aurelio knew he should've looked away. But he didn't. Couldn't. This sick compulsion forced his eyes onto the muted TV, and he watched a small metallic Toyota crash head-on into a Jeep speeding down the wrong side of the road. The car stood out in the aftermath. Compared to the Jeep, it'd been annihilated. Squashed up to the front seats. The people inside...innocents ordained to death, entire beings instantly reduced to corpses.

Aurelio dropped the spoon back into his bowl of cereal. His stomach churned. Bile rose up his throat. His dad frowned, and he lowered his cigarette, twisting his torso left and right as he searched for the remote control. His mom grabbed it faster and quickly turned the TV off. "Oh my God," she said. "Sweetheart, I..."

But it was too late. Thrusting his chair back, Aurelio sprang to his feet and raced to the bathroom.

As he grasped the edges of the toilet and retched into it, the accident replayed in his head. Again and again. He'd known about it. Heard of it. But seeing it on the news was just a heavier type of dread, a more potent type of trigger.

He leant back on his heels, heartbeats racing. Then the stench of vomit wafted up his nose and made him hunch over and puke again.

When the second wave ended, he slumped back against the wall, staring at the ceiling, his breath shallow and strained. The yellow lamplight burned his eyes. He let it, because maybe it could sear off these images blocking his senses-this flickering patchwork of spilled blood, cracked bones, shattered glass puncturing skin. Then there were white splotches. Then a weird haze, akin to radio static.

Stop.

Aurelio slammed the back of his head against the wall.

Please stop.

He'd never even been in a car accident. Neither anyone he knew. So why did it scare him so much? Why did the mere thought rattle his body like that?

Aurelio sat there, head in his hands, eyes screwed shut as he waited for the world to clear up. The air seeped in and out his nose only. He focused on the sound of his breath. Time slowed, or maybe sped up-he couldn't tell. But by the time the his mom's knocks on the door loudened, he'd gotten a grip on reality again.

With a hand on the wall, he forced himself up and walked to the the door. He opened it. His mom stood there, staring at him with her warm brown eyes, reaching a hand over to caress his hair. "I'm sorry," she whispered. There was a familiar tone of sadness in her voice. "I should've noticed. I should've turned it off the second the clip came on."

Aurelio shook his head. "It's not your fault." He gave her a small tired smile, desperate to assure her. "I'm fine. I know how to deal with it."

His mom stared a little longer, worry tucked in the pucker between her brows. "Elio..." She took a deep breath like what she wanted to say had been trapped in for too long. Her hand reached for Aurelio's. "Listen." Thumb tracing his knuckles. "It's totally okay if you want to find a new therapist again. I mean, if you feel like there's not much improvement, like last time..."

"No, no." Aurelio shook his head. "No need. She's good so far." All but changing therapists again. "It takes time and patience," he said, trying to convince himself more than anyone. "It's only been a few sessions with her."

Aurelio hoped he sounded more hopeful than he actually was-which was not at all. His mom smiled. "That's good to hear," she said. "And you're right. It takes time and patience." Aurelio nodded, then she left the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind. He washed up and made his way back into the kitchen.

His mom had returned to her seat at the table, finishing her breakfast. Aurelio's dad was washing the dishes, and when he dried his hands and spun around, his gaze fell straight on Aurelio.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

Aurelio nodded. He took a seat across from his mom, intending to finish his bowl, but he'd lost his appetite. So he just stared at it, shoulders slouched. His head throbbed-a dull, distracting pain.

"Don't force yourself to finish it. You don't wanna puke again, do you?" His dad slid the bowl across the table until it was on his side, where he stood. He chuckled, and crinkles appeared at the corners of his dark eyes. Eyes Aurelio had inherited, just like he'd inherited the art of avoidance from him. "Got any plans today, Elio?"

"Nothing much. Just gonna hang out with Matt and Leslie," Aurelio said. "And Blair."

"Nice. Have fun." His dad gave him a pat on the shoulder as he passed by him, then kissed his mom on the cheek. He checked his wristwatch and hurried to the foyer. "Almost late to work. See you!"

Aurelio craned his neck, trying to catch a glimpse before he'd leave. "Drive safe," he said.

The front-door was shut. Aurelio set his eyes on the tabletop again. Next to the bowl his dad had moved, there was a pack of cigarettes. Wait. A pack of cigarettes? He leant over and grabbed it, frowning at it like it was alien.

"What's this doing here?" Aurelio asked.

His mom straightened and glanced at the pack in his hands. She shrugged. "Your dad must've forgotten it here."

"Why?"

"...Not sure. He just forgot."

"He smokes?"

His mom's confused frown grew concerned. "Yeah, he does. He was just now smoking. Before the news. Remember?"

Aurelio stared at his dad's seat. Slowly, the memory slotted back in place: holding a cigarette, rings of smoke pluming out of his mouth. Right. He smoked.

"Yeah." Aurelio laughed nervously. "I know. I remember. Just messing with you."

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a/n: first chapters terrify me lol. Thanks for reading/voting/commenting! Updates every 1 or 2 weeks max <3