Lost and Found

Alone

A/N: words: 1583. This idea has been nagging at me for a while now and I honestly really love where its going. Set between CA:WS and CA:CW. Anyway, this is gonna be really cool. So, enjoy!

 "Sorry I gotta do this, but duty calls, and you might be on your own for this one." Steve explained, and Sam just shook his head. "Hey, it's cool, I'll call you if I get a lead. Have fun avenging." Sam said with a smile, and Steve chuckled. He clapped Sam on the shoulder and nodded. "Thanks, Sam." Steve said sincerely, and Sam shrugged. "'Course." and with that, Steve Rogers was off, and it was up to Sam to find the assassin that had previously tried to kill him. Sam sighed. This was gonna be a long couple of months.

Sam checked onto the cheapest hotel he could find that night, and it wasn't pleasant. The entire place smelled of mold and expired food, but he needed to sleep. His room wasn't any better. The entire place was damp, the sheets had mysterious stains, and he saw at least eight spiders in the bathroom sink. It wasn't too luxurious, to say the least. And all for a guy who tried to kill him. He would definitely get back at Rogers, that was for damn sure.

He set his stuff down at sighed, running his fingers along the walls. Once he felt something sticky, he stopped, making a face of disgust. He set down all the files onto the desk, seemingly the only thing in the entire room that was somewhat clean, and got changed. He deemed that the floor was the only sanitary place to sleep, but even that he questioned, when he saw an insect scurry along and up the bed. He shook his head and placed down a hoodie for a pillow. He didn't really know why he was doing this, he barely knew Steve, but when he saw the pain in his eyes talking about Barnes, he couldn't say no. He knew what it felt like to lose someone, and if he had a chance to get that person back, he would definitely take it. So, he's here, in a mold covered hotel room, tracking down an assassin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam woke up to something crawling up his arm and swatted it away. Yeah, he's sleeping in his car from now on. It sadly wasn't the worst place he's slept, but if he can get out of an infested hotel room, he would do it. He got up and made his way over to the desk, searching any news articles for Barnes' face, name, and he got nothing. Sam sighed, head in hands. Next, he looked through the files on the guy, trying to see if there was a pattern in where he was going, but every lead ended at a dead end, or it was a misdirect to throw him off his scent. Either way, he had no new leads, and was itching to get out of this hotel.

He packed up all his stuff in his small duffle bag, having to rid it of 3 spiders, and made his way to the front desk to leave. As he opened the doors, he sighed in relief, breathing in the fresh air. "Oh, thank god." he muttered and made his way to his car, throwing his bag in the back. He started driving to places Barnes' frequented, or so he thought. Every time he asked someone if they've seen him, they would all tell him no. Safe to say, it wasn't going well. This guy really didn't want to be found.

It honestly made Sam think, how much Barnes didn't want to be found. He was clearly planting fake leads, misleading Sam, so he could stay hidden just a bit longer. And Sam knows why. After being in the hands of Hydra for 70 years, then being thrown into a world you don't know, it made sense why he would stay hidden. And Sam felt sorry for him. Because Barnes now had to face a world that changed so much from what he was used to. And he has to do it alone. Well, he thinks he has to do it alone. And Sam knows that feeling. When Riley fell, he felt completely alone, like he had no one. He forced himself to stay in that darkness, ignore what help he was getting. He pushed away everyone he knew. He pushed away his own sister, because of his grief. He was so lost, he didn't know how to move forward. Then, he finally let the light come through, and he was a better person because of it.

Sam took a deep breath and continued driving. He knew he had to find this guy, it's the least he could do. For Steve, and for Barnes.

~~~~~~~~~

Sam pulled into a quiet looking parking lot near an apartment complex and figured he'd get some rest, it being 2 am. He still had no leads, and no news outlet spotted him. It had been nice, looking with Steve, having company, but on his own, he got lost in his thoughts too much. Ever since he thought of Riley, it never left the back of his mind. He imagined his reaction to Sam tracking down an assassin. Riley wasn't a voice of reason by any means, but this was a bit extreme. Sam smiled at the thought, the hell Riley would give him. Or Sarah. God, she would be furious. He can hear her voice in his head, telling how insane this idea was, how he would just tag along with Captain America, Sam, this is what he does, not you. God, he misses those two. So much.

He feels tears prickle in his eyes, and a sad smile spreading over his face. He sighed, and shut his eyes, letting the tears fall. He fell asleep a few moments later, the thoughts of Sarah and Riley still on his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He watched as Riley fell, for the millionth time, as he cries Sam's name. All he could do is watch, as Riley kept falling, screaming for Sam, until the cries stopped. "Sam." Sarah said from behind him, and he turned, turned to see Sarah clutching her stomach, blood oozing between her fingers. But Sam couldn't move to help her, he had to stand in horror, as the life drained from his sister. He let a sob escape him, and watched her body collapse to the ground, and he couldn't do anything.

Sam jolted awake with a gasp, tears still falling from his eyes. It was just a nightmare. He breathed in a shaky breath. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw them. Riley falling, Sarah's dead body on the ground. It was all too much. He needed to drive, clear his head. Tears still rolled down his cheeks as he drove, the sun rising in the horizon. Sam sighed, and shook his head, trying to rid his hand of the images. He stopped at the nearest coffee, knowing sleep probably wasn't gonna be an option.

After he ordered, he figured he'd go back to the parking lot, and began looking through the files on Barnes, looking for anything that could tell him where he was hiding. He looked through photos, hell, he even tried looking at the locals Instagram pictures to see if he was in the background.

After about 30 minutes of searching, Sam found nothing. Sam sighed in defeat, rubbing his temples. This guy really wanted to stay hidden. Again, Sam couldn't blame him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky awoke with a gasp, his hair falling in his eyes. Another nightmare, another memory of Hydra that lives in him, maybe forever. He breathed in a shaky breath and breathed out. He made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee, as tears rolled down his cheeks. It's comforting to him, as sad as it is. Tears make him feel human, like he's not a machine Hydra conditioned him to be. It's been about 2 months since he went on the run, and thankfully no one has found him. Steve has come close, but he was able to sneak from his radar rather quickly. That was a few weeks ago now. The thing is, it's that he doesn't need to be found, he's lost, he lost a part of himself, the part that he left in the 40s.

Now, he's a shell of someone he used to know. He needs to figure himself out before he lets anyone else in. He needs to be alone for a while, just until he figures out everything. Then, maybe he goes back to Steve, finds some semblance of a life he once knew. But something in the back of his mind is telling him that Steve isn't the way to do that. He doesn't know this new Bucky, so how can he help him? It was a lot to think about at 4:30 in the morning.

Bucky took a look outside his window and saw a car with its lights on. His eyes followed the man that got out of the car, moving to get rid of some garbage. For some reason, the man looked familiar, as the rising sun glowed against his dark skin. He watched his movements, taking sips off his coffee from time to time. Then, it clicked. He had fought this man, with Steve. His breath hitched as the man came clearer into his view. His skin glowed brighter as he went back to his car. He looked, well, beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful, mind you. If this is the man who's looking for him, he's so gone.